The Chronicles of Lilac
by LadyBek
Summary: Lilac is a slave. There's not much more to her story. She is doomed to live her life at the feet of others. Until Kylo Ren shows up and, in an act of curious mercy, saves her from her fate. Why would he do that? He will try to figure that out. KyloxOCxHux WARNINGS: Suicide, sex(ual innuendos), death, hatred, fun stuff
1. Prologue: Lilla'akkun

Lilla'akkun was born deep in the woods, with only her mother and father in the nearby area. If they wanted to visit the closest town for supplies they geared up in the morning, before the sun started to rise, and left just as soon as it was bright enough to see where their two-person speeder was headed. They rarely ever made it back before sun-down.

Ko'un, her mother, was the first to die the night the fires started. A heavy, beautiful rainfall masked the deadly lightning that was striking far more ferociously than ever before. The forest was usually too damp and dense to allow fires to travel far, especially during a rainfall. It took an almighty shower of electricity surrounding the cabin of the small family to do any real damage.

Faze, the family pet, warned them when it smelt smoke and sensed the rising damage. As a small fox, it took a lot of movement to stir little Lilla'akkun awake. When she woke, it was her responsibility to warn her parents. They responded immediately, their tired eyes snapping open in alarm. There was no telling how long they had before their home betrayed them to the pyre.

As they fled down the steps of the cabin, the speeder in the garage exploded in a ball of smoke and debris. Everything else started to follow suit right after. There was no time to grab supplies, or to say goodbye; the entire family ran out of the cabin narrowly avoiding serious burns on the fallen beams and metal grating.

All Lilla'akkun knew for the next hours was the death of the only people she knew, smoke too thick to see through, and a loss of hope so sudden she thought she would never have any again.

They tripped through the mud at their feet, the rain still falling, turning the forest into a swamp. They ducked under branches as they fell with flames so hot it burnt their eyes just to look at. They choked on smoke so heavy their lungs became the working plumes of old machinery.

There was no more comfort in the woods, no more safety, and when the trees started cracking and falling, the loud crashes all around, Lilla'akkun's mother told her it was over. That it was time to stop, to give up.

Ko'un refused to get up after that. The flames started to catch on her nightgown. Lilla'akkun's father, Li'um, grabbed his daughter and Faze, and kept running. He tripped several times before gasping for air as he told her to run. Tears ran down his face, the rain not enough anymore to cover it up. He was ready to give up along with his wife. He had lost so much, and he was too weak then to fight any longer.

Lilla'akkun ran. She ran hard and fast, and Faze kept up with her, right at her heels.

They were far from any shelter or help. They wouldn't make it out of the forest alive while that fire was still burning.

Faze tugged on her gown, directing her towards a cave. The two adventurers knew there was a pool of water in the cave, as well as decent enough ventilation. It may not save their lives, but it was the best shot they had. The bad thing was that the cave was already inhabited.

Lilla'akkun waited at the mouth of the cave, on her hands and knees, waiting with her last breath. Faze had gone in, teeth bared, and over the crackling fire and falling trees there was the sound of fighting. Shrieking animals, nails scraping stone, something wet and solid hitting the ground. Lilla'akkun listened, her heart in her throat. She was about to lose the last member of her family to a pack of wolves.

The pitter patter of Faze pulled her inside the cave. There was a mess of blood and fur just inside. Faze had won. But he was badly wounded. Lilla'akkun brought him deeper into the cave, keeping low to give her lungs a break from the smoke on the ceiling. The cave was wet and narrow, until it widened into a deep pool. The glow from the fire didn't reach it. Nothing seemed to reach it. Not even air.

Faze sat in a corner, where the water didn't quite reach. Cracks in the wall let in clear air and vented out smoke. Still, there was no light to see by and her lungs couldn't breathe enough to sate her blood. The two were left alone in the dark, gasping and crying dried tears.

For two days, they drank the spring water. Lilla'akkun didn't trust the pool until she found the little waterfall that ran into it. She carried Faze over to drink, the fox whining with every movement. She couldn't see her friend's injuries but knew it was bad; her hands were covered in sticky blood every time she picked him up.

Faze didn't survive the third day. Lilla'akkun didn't have any tears left to shed. On the fifth day she had to pull herself past the pool, through the narrow tunnels, past the remains of the dead wolf family, and into the night. The moon's glow had never been so bright on the forest floor. There used to be trees that reached into the sky and snuffed out the moon's glow before it could touch the earth. The rain seemed to have eventually beat out the fire after the trees gave in and crumbled. Lilla'akkun's feet sank into the mud as she walked. Her skin itched, her hair got tanged in branches.

And she was afraid.

So, so afraid.

All she knew of the forest, the leaves, the moss, the shining streams, was dead and gone. The streams had overflown, while everything else had burnt into ash and char. There was no sound, not even the wind.

More than just wolves and men had died in the forest during the fire. All the animals had.

She walked far, and then farther and farther. Finding anything to eat was a miracle, but she managed to. Finding water that didn't have charred branches poisoning it was far harder. Even the dirt was dirtier than usual. Even the mud itched and stuck to her skin more than it did when she played in the rain.

The air was still heavy. Her lungs burned and her throat ached just the same. The smell of smoke seared her nose.

She was surprised that there was anything left of her to ache, after her entire family died, but there was plenty. Each muscle, each limb, every pore and nail. She caught splinters in her toes and under her fingernails, and it was just another thing that was going to kill her. Another ending to her life.

She walked for days, weeks she thought, trying to find anything different. Anything other than death and ash.

Her savior approached in a large, rugged caravan. She appeared with a group of others, concern etched on their faces as they saw her scrambling towards them for safety. The gangly woman held Lilla'akkun close as she was scrubbed head to toe, bandaged, and fed. Their water wasn't pure, but it was the closest she'd had in as long as she could remember.

They dressed her, sized her up. They smiled at her and consoled her. They were everything she could have asked for in a savior and more. They praised her.

At the first city they passed, they had her appraised.

Lilla'akkun, still only a child, was saved from certain death and sold into slavery.

**_/AN/_**

This story is written with the POVs of both Lilac (Lilla'akkun in the prologue) and Kylo. There are definitely mature (sexual, violent) themes, but there will not be smut in every chapter. I will leave a note at the top when there is.

The content is lightly edited. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think! Feedback will determine how often I update. Thank you! It's good to be back to posting fanfiction!


	2. Prologue: Kylo Ren, Negotiator

Kylo Ren was sick of playing the political game of eating, drinking, and listening to influentials talk his ear off about upcoming wars. Every planet, in every solar system, in every galaxy, had wars. He started them, fought in them, reveled in them. Why were their wars any more important or worth his time?

Because he was told as much, that's why.

He was told where to go, who to talk to, and to what end. This president needed to stay silent, that princess had to be married off to some faraway planet, those rebels needed to be turned into First Order spies. It never ended, for him.

Meanwhile, his 'partner' was having the time of his life. Jona had left his dark cloak on the ship when they landed in the port at the tropic resort. He wore casual shorts with a top that hung open, unbuttoned. Women swooned at the sight of his torso, but Kylo only saw distracting vanity where there should be hard work and determination engrained into Jona's golden skin. His equally golden hair, usually neatly slicked back, was blowing gently in the artificial breeze.

Kylo would never admit to being too warm in all of his clothes, but he made the small change of showing off his arms and not having such heavy layers. Whatever he wore, he was still dark and imposing. Nothing would ever change that.

The ocean was bright and calm on the day they arrived. People of all shapes, sizes, and cultures wandered the cobbled streets with smiles and sunglasses on their faces. They were blocking the streets for anyone trying to move faster than a casual shamble.

Kylo ran his fingers through his hair, impatient as ever. If those people didn't start walking faster, he was going to make them run. That would improve his day, and make theirs sub-par.

"Are we almost there?" He asked his guide over the rumble of tourists. The woman, clad in an ill-fitted bikini, smiled back at him.

"Yes, sir. Nearly there. We are so excited to have you here for... negotiations."

That settled it for Kylo. On the next trip for 'negotiations' he would have his host guide the First Order party. Letting too many people know the First Order's business was a poor practice. He didn't want to have to shut any more innocent mouths.

"Take it easy. Relax." Jona grinned as his eyes followed the form of a slave girl walking just ahead of them. She was covered up more than the guide, but not by much. "Enjoy the view."

"We are here on business." Kylo reminded him strongly. "Do not get distracted."

"Distracted? There's nothing distracting about it. It's just a little side business I'll need to attend to later."

Kylo resisted the urge to strangle him. Just barely.

The tour guide led them through a grand archway into a courtyard filled with lounging regulars, curious tourists, and busy slaves. Eyes looked over Kylo and Jona once before figuring out that it was a much better idea not to notice them. 'See no evil, hear no evil' seemed to be a common motto when the First Order was around.

They stepped through an other archway and navigated past a couple taking PDA to extremes in a short hallway. Past them, past a door guarded by a large set of men, was the VIP room. Several men, and their individual slaves, were playing card games at three separate tables. The room smelled of strong herbal smoke laced with something sweet. Drinks were passed around and guzzled.

"You're here." One man stood, pausing a game of blackjack. His companions groaned as though it wasn't the first time in recent hours.

"I presume you are Touloo?" Kylo was all business, immediately establishing himself as a person they should know not to mess with. Then Jona walked past him, towards their contact.

"Hey, mate. What's the game?" Jona clapped the man on the shoulder. He grinned from ear to ear. "And what's there to drink?"

"Jona!" The man, portly and about as covered up as the slave holding his ale, laughed heartily. The two, as far as Kylo knew, had never met before. "Grab a seat. We'll start over."

The blackjack group groaned again. Apparently they could complain as much as they want, but the boss did as he pleased and the table was soon reset.

Kylo tried to interrupt the game over the next few minutes, but was waved away. His temper started to get the better of him. "Jona." He said, a threat in his tone.

Jona eyed his partner over the cards in his hand. He stood up just in time to be grabbed by the collar of his shirt and dragged into the hall.

"What are you doing?" Kylo kept his voice low in front of the doormen. "We are not here for games."

"I am. It's working. I am getting information left and right from these guys!" For once, Jona wasn't smiling. "Let me do what you brought me here to do. I know how to talk to these guys."

"Then what am I supposed to do? Wait for your report?" Kylo snarled in Jona's face.

"Go find a party of your own! I hear there's a club nearby that might have some sweet weapons tech we want."

Kylo was about to explode in rage. He was supposed to be in charge of a negotiation, not the confiscation of a few weapons.

"If I do a bad job, you'll be praised for killing me." Jona raised his palms. It was a reasonable argument.

Dammit. He was right. The mission did not allow for unnecessary killings of coworkers, but if he had a good excuse to kill Jona... Kylo held himself back, steaming with fury.

"Where is this club, and who am I trying to find?"

/AN/

A little set up for the area, and for Kylo. It's a short part, I know. That just means I can get the next part out soon, right? Right? Maybe. Thanks for reading. I promise not every chapter will have an AN

If you like it, please let me know! It really helps me know what an update is worth to you!


	3. Crab (Lilac)

"Crab!"

Lilac sighed, on the inside. On the outside she was as calm and collected as ever. The club was filled to the brim, even though she was sure it was the middle of the day. She never really knew what time it was. The club was built like that, so no one would think about having to be anywhere else. What time is it? It's time for you to keep dancing and buying drinks like a good little tourist.

Not that she would ever say that to someone's face. If she did she would be punished. Again. For about the millionth time since she started working at Club Coast.

'Started working' was a nice way of saying 'since the owner of Club Coast bought her at the market and decided to put her on the floor serving crab-cakes to drunk high-rollers in the lounge'.

She didn't say a word as she lifted a tray from her kneeling position on the tiled floor to let the drunken bastard grab a handful of crab-cakes. He dropped them on the table in front of himself, intending to eat them one by one between rounds of arm wrestling.

He didn't even wave her off. Lilac knew to go back to her stationary position between tables, readying herself to serve others. She wasn't even allowed to adjust her uncomfortable crotch. Her purple silk panties were the most problematic item of clothing they had her wear.

The second, only other part of her uniform, was the triangular scrap of cloth glued to her chest to just barely cover her breasts. Her breasts weren't as large as her fellow slave-girls, but she'd been complimented on them enough every day, by every customer, so she didn't feel inferior at all. Whatever her cup size, she was objectified just as much as they were.

If she could hide her breasts properly, she would. Not from modesty, or from self-conscious worry; but because she still didn't see what right those men (or women) had to stare and drool over her bare skin. Even as a slave, even owned by a man who was known for his enjoyment of exhibitionism, she remembered her mother's lessons about respect all too well for it to be acceptable.

She would never say anything like that to her owner, or to anyone else for that matter. Even fellow slave-girls would turn her in for a pat on the back. They might get an extra portion for dinner, but that was only if they gossiped about a real betrayal of the club's trust.

Lilac sat quietly, the thumping of the music below the VIP balcony all but drowning out her thoughts.

She barely remembered her family before she was a slave. She'd tried to carve their memory into her mind, even into her skin, but every attempt was stalled by whoever owned her at the time. Their names were lost to her. But she remembered the fire. She remembered being surrounded by death and flame for days while she barely survived off of tainted water and rotten mushrooms. The blood had been so deeply scrubbed into her skin, and the slivers were infected-

"Crab!"

Lilac turned, and avoided eye contact. Her tray emptied. Another slave-girl took it from her and replaced it with another.

The fat slobs, Lilac thought. Just one of those crab-cakes was more of a meal than she was served. A crab-cake would be a delight, and she certainly wouldn't waste half of it by breaking it into crumbs on a felt table.

But if she showed her hunger she would be punished. She was only allowed to have enough to eat to make her bones stick out less. Her weight was watched constantly. Her muscles were only strong enough to hold trays of drinks and food. If she were stronger she would break out of the club and run as far as she could. She still had hope of an escape, unlike many of the other women.

Most of them had been slaves longer than she had. Her fifteen years had been spent being handed to different owners on different planets or in different systems. Some of the girls had spent the entirety of their lives—thirty years for a choice few—in Club Coast's family of slaves. Younger slaves, thankfully, worked in the back where much less illegal, inappropriate actions took place.

To her credit, Lilac held as strong as she could to the girl she used to be, and the woman she was supposed to become. She held strong to the beliefs she was sure her parents taught her, and the optimism she was certainly raised with. She would not give up her freedom, even as property of a cruel man.

Slave owners changed everything about her outer appearance, but they would never change her heart. Not completely. Even though she ached every day, and cried herself to sleep whenever she had the chance to sleep. It wasn't a weakness, in her opinion. It was proof that she was still alive, and still a human. Unlike her dead, robotic counterparts.

"Crab!" A hand slapped the backside of her head. She lifted the tray to a man's grasping fingers.

She couldn't even sort out her own hair. She had to wait for her tray to be emptied and replaced, and for someone to fix her hair for her.

Her long bangs fell back into place, framing her face. The rest of her hair barely moved from where it sat against her back. It had been dyed to match her name long ago, in such a permanent fashion that she hadn't seen her natural hair color in years. It was easier to remember her slave name when her hair colour matched it, or so the boss said. Her eyebrows were dark, and the only other hair she would ever have again. Permanent outer appearance manipulating was trendy in the slave-trade.

When she was finally relieved from her post, a pair of men tried not to make it obvious that she needed help standing. Her legs were numb, and the static in her muscles was a familiar, incapacitating pain. The men dumped her on the ground in the dorms next-door, where the slaves were kept. She was locked in, signed in, and led into the locker room.

Shower heads lined the walls on one side of the open room, toilets sat in the center, and sinks were on the other side of the room. Privacy was one of many things she never remembered having. Privacy, in Club Coast employee terms, was a back room for a large sum of money.

Lilac was one of few girls rarely chosen. She wasn't curvy, didn't have large breasts, and wasn't nearly as soft or compliant as the others. She was unwanted, even as an obligated slave facing the whip. She served crab-cakes and rarely did anything else. Not that she was complaining. Even to herself.

She learnt about sex from the slave-traders, and wished she'd never had to, but if they hadn't told her what to prepare for, she would have been hurt far more than she was. She would have panicked more, and struck out like a wild animal. They would have had to detain her. And then she would still have to go through with being robbed of her first time.

Lilac sighed as water ran over her body. She used to have scars all along her light brown skin. She wasn't allowed to, anymore. Her skin, her hair, her smile, had to be perfect. Flawless. Fit to be sold again and again.

When she left the shower, she put on a robe and went straight into the bedroom she shared with two others. She was alone for once. It wouldn't last long, but just a moment of solitude was refreshing. She laid down on the mat in the middle of the floor, set between two cots that she was not allowed to touch. The moment her head touched down on the stiff, thin mat, she was asleep. For the first time in well over a month, she slept soundly through her entire break—five hours.

And then it was back to giving out crab-cakes.


	4. Never Deal With A Devil (Kylo)

For three days, Jona did what he did best. He partied with influential criminals.

Kylo Ren followed his own leads, most of them having the goal to empty his wallet. He held to his mission and let his anger at his 'partner' urge him on. If he could finish the mission, or do anything useful in the time it took Jona to recover from a massive hangover, he could be rid of the idiot. He could even leave Jona on the planet forever. That would make the trip worthwhile.

Between eating tropical delicacies he didn't like and sleeping in a bed far softer than he was used to, Kylo Ren was more eager than ever to leave the city-sized resort. He was starting to get familiar looks from locals—looks that meant to him he stood out. He didn't mean to. He'd meant to spend one day—just one—negotiating with Touloo. No one should be recognizing him.

"Tell me one more time." Kylo sighed. "Where am I supposed to go to next?"

"Beside the shore, in an exclusive spot open for everyone." The tiny creature said again cryptically. Her feathers bristled, her wide cat-like eyes glowing.

Kylo waited half a heartbeat to find out if the creature would elaborate. When she didn't, he grabbed her by the throat and pushed her up against the wall. He snarled, inches from her face.

"Cut the crap. I have officially lost my patience. Either you tell me where I am supposed to go, without some stupid riddle, or I tear every one of hose feathers from your body and stab you with each one."

He paused, watching fear settle on the creature's face. She hissed.

His grip tightened. "I hear acupuncture is very popular around here. I don't think this is what they meant." Kylo fisted several feathers and yanked them from her flesh.

Squawking, the avian-woman finally admitted the answer to the riddle. "The Coast! Club Coast! Awk, don't stab me!"

Kylo dropped her, and she hit the floor. Without missing a beat he plunged the feathers back into her arm. "Thank you for your information."

He left, her shrieks dying down to whimpers as her guards rushed in behind him.

He knew where Club Coast was. He'd given the business patronage several times since his arrival. It seemed to be the same as every other club he'd seen, aside from its less flamboyant exterior. Where other businesses wanted to attract as many tourists as possible, Club Coast settled on a casual, 'by-the-beach' décor. Which it wasn't. It was in the middle of the Eastern part of the city; the densest part, farthest section of city from the ocean.

Kylo checked his wallet a block away from the club, to be certain he had the exact amount he expected. Thieves were common in densely occupied cities, especially when naive tourists maneuvered so lamely through the streets. It was likely that the club would rob him of every dollar, yen, and drachma if he gave the employees a chance.

He was welcomed into the club with open arms—word had spread that someone from the First Order was trying to do business in the city. He was led past the crowd of gyrating folk and up a set of fake stone steps. The busty, green-clad slave-girl sat him at a low table next to the man who owned the club. He was large, muscular, and looked as though he could be his own bodyguard if he wanted to be.

"And you are?" The man asked, his eyes looking over the balcony at his club's dance floor. "Trouble, I'm guessing?"

The other two men at the table laughed, their hands clinging to mugs of liquid that smelt like burning fuel. Kylo kept his eye on his host, marking the exits and dangers in his peripherals. He always had an exit plan in mind. Being in a tightly packed area made it harder, but he was confident enough in his abilities.

If he had to, he could break out of Club Coast in under a minute. That was using the front door, past bouncers and dancers and slave-girls alike.

"I am looking for someone who knows something about the latest weapons technology in this system. For some reason my associate believes that there is a man in this resort that can sell it to me."

Kylo remained all business, even as one of the men slapped money on the table. That, along with a strong pointing finger, was apparently the signal for a lap dance.

"Perhaps we could do this somewhere... quieter?" Kylo gestured vaguely, though he meant to point out the intimate scene happening at their table.

"No place quieter in Club Coast, my friend." The owner announced. He finally turned to look at Kylo. "My name is Gam, and I am the man you seek. Or, I'm as close to that man as you will get." He had a thick accent that focused inflection on consonants.

"Do you have what I need or not?"

"I do. Blueprints. Prototypes. What you need?"

Kylo was exasperated. "The latest. Strongest. Deadliest. Whatever you have that I can mass-produce."

"Equipping an army, are you?"

"To the teeth." Kylo responded briskly.

The music played, the walls reverberating with the force of the bass. Gam seemed to be weighing his options, even though it seemed to Kylo as though there were none.

"Can you pay?"

The predictable question.

"The First Order can supply whatever you ask in return—if you supply us fairly."

The obvious answer. He couldn't let them know how much money he had with him. They would ambush him, take the money, and drop his body into the furnace. If they could even get a grip on him.

Gam tapped the table, and a drink was brought to him, the slave careful not to disturb the lap dance. "Would you like one?"

"You know what I want."

"Take some time. Enjoy yourself."

Kylo fumed. "I have tried for long enough to enjoy myself. Until I get what I want I will not spend a single moment in revelry."

Gam waved the slave over again and whispered in her ear. "Fine, fine. Impatient boy. The blueprints will arrive shortly. Until then, a drink?"

"No."

A tray hit the floor at the next table over. Between that table and the next, a slave-girl was being pinned to the floor by a much larger man. "You scum! This crab-cake is shit! What did you do? Spit on it? How dare you! I'll have you killed!"

The raving went on and on until bouncers separated the two, holding the slave up off the ground for all to see. They waited until Gam stood and approached the scene. Kylo stayed seated, uninterested. He'd seen it happen before. Nothing terrible would happen to her. Slapped, probably. The worst of it would happen later, when Gam or one of his subordinates had her alone.

"You insolent little whore!" Gam spat at her. "I will teach you a lesson later."

His hand reached out and struck her face, hard. She made a sound, but it was drowned out by the DJ. The mark on her face made other slaves flinch.

But the way her fists twitched, as though she would strike him back, caught Kylo's eye. She didn't look strong at all, nor did she seem to act it. Tears slid down her face, but he could remember a day when pain destroyed him, too.

He also remembered the day he did strike back. She wasn't far off from doing the same.

Kylo stepped in. "Gam. May I speak with you a moment."

Game glared at the interruption. "What is it, lackey?"

The pleasantries were over. Whatever deal Kylo had hoped to make was a lost cause. He would send a raid in later for the blueprints Gam claimed to possess.

Kylo squared his shoulders and imitated Jona's quirky grin. "I like them feisty. If you'd let me have some time with her before you do any further damage?" He held out a fistful of money, probably more than the girl cost.

Gam considered it with suspicious eyes. The prospect of more profit won out and he took the cash. "You have good taste. She's practically fresh." He looked over the girl with disgust before waving at the bodyguards. "Take them to a private room. As soon as she's done, clean her up and lock her in isolation. I don't want her encouraging the others."

Kylo followed the bodyguards as they still refused to let the slave touch the ground. Her bare legs dangled uselessly. Her purple hair spilled over her shoulders, covering more of her skin than the purple scraps of cloth covering the more sensitive parts of her body.

The bouncers shut them inside of a small room, soundproofed to keep at least the majority of sound on the respective sides of the wall. There was a wide bed covered in pillows, a table next to it supplying the clients with whatever they would need for whatever they intended to do with the slaves they temporarily commanded.

The room was dominated by the bed. The tiled floor and blank walls were coloured serenely blue, the bed a sandy brown. Club Coast was one of the less cheesy spots for sexual encounters.

The slave-girl could barely take a single step on her own. The décor made the room seem more like the place for a garden party than a room where slaves were ravished by desperate, drunken men and women.

"If you give me five minutes, it will be worth your while." She smiled with forced sensuality. She rubbed at her legs. "I want to be ready for you, master."

"Is that what they have you call your clients?" Kylo stood near the end of the bed. There was no room for him to go anywhere else, unless he sat next to her on the mattress he did not want to trust.

She stared at him. "Would you like for me to call you something else? Lord? Brother?" She looked him up and down, barely hiding her own discomfort. "Son?"

She didn't look any older than he was, but he tried not to dwell on how many times she'd called a client her son, or her daddy, or other sick names he hated just thinking of. He knew people were sick, but he didn't plan to confront that fact while searching for information.

"How long have you been a slave?" He asked, genuinely curious. She was still wild, but she'd obviously been practicing for a long while; someone had beat manners into her.

"That is not a question you are allowed to ask. No pity. If you want me feisty, you better change the subject." Her voice wavered, her words slurred as though she had cotton in her mouth.

Kylo suddenly realized what he was doing, and why it was so crazy. He'd wanted to warn her, nothing more. If she had tried to strike back, she would be much worse off. He told himself he didn't care what happened to her, but it didn't hurt him any to give her advice. It was up to her whether she listened or not. She seemed like the type that wouldn't.

Her hope kept her wild. That hope was the most dangerous thing she could hold on to. She would fight back thinking that if she survived a moment longer her rescue would come. But it never would. She was lost and forgotten, whether she was born into slavery or not. He assumed she wasn't, from the fire in her eyes.

"I don't care how feisty you are right now. I'm not taking advantage of you."

She was visibly shocked, her brown eyes opened wide and focused on him. Her bare feet stilled on the floor. "What?" She swallowed around a lump in her throat.

"You want to kill Gam, don't you?"

There was no point beating around the bush. The girl was violent, and she was close to bursting. Being vague would only further her progression into rage.

There was a heavy bruise on the side of her brown face, her left eye shut slightly as her skin swelled. "I would never. None of us would. I'm just a bad apple. That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"I want to warn you-"  
She snapped. "About what? Should I be careful so I don't end up in the slave trade? Good advice."

"If you try to hurt him, he will only hurt you more."

"I am aware of that." She stood. With so little space between them, Kylo could smell her breath—bile and blood.

"Did you bite yourself?" He asked, reaching for her. She didn't flinch. She'd been taught not to.

With her lips parted, blood dripped down the side of her mouth. She had bitten a hard mark into her tongue. It was no wonder she was having trouble speaking, and surprising she wasn't choking. Kylo grabbed a bowl from the table.

"Spit. You shouldn't be swallowing that."

She did as he told her to. He put the bowl in her hands and grabbed a cloth he hoped was clean. When he decided he couldn't risk it, he sanitized it with the nearest, strongest alcohol.

"Apply pressure." He told her. "I can't do anything else."


	5. Private Room (Lilac)

Lilac nodded at the dark haired man, pressing the cloth around her tongue. She spat again, into the bowl. As she sat back on the bed, her eyes followed him around as he paced the short length of the room. He was imposing. A man from the First Order, or so she'd heard. He wanted to help her, for some reason, but she'd been tricked by false heroes before.

"You need to be more careful. I know that sounds ridiculous, but there are much worse things that can be done to you if you act out."

Worse things? Lilac laughed on the inside, her outside trained into a blank expression.

She was a slave. She was sold, bought, raped, beat, abandoned, alone, and so many more terrible things. She wasn't entirely certain that she was actually alive anymore. She barely lived. Even her outbursts didn't make her feel alive as much as they used to.

She wanted him to just get it over with. Whatever he was going to do to her was worse waiting for. She was certain that he couldn't do anything to her worse than what had already been done.

His pacing was somehow louder than Lilac's heartbeat. He seemed to start talking to himself. "What is this place? I've seen worse, but usually there is some sort of organization. Burning Club Coast will make it into a neat little pile of ashes. Much better looking. If there's anything worth salvaging, I don't care."

"Burn down Club Coast?" Her tongue throbbed, but she needed to know what he was talking about. She didn't know if he understood her with the vodka-soaked cloth in her mouth, but he stopped pacing. He barely glanced at her, but she could see the long profile of his face.

"That man makes me sick. After every inch of Club Coast is searched, I will have it burnt to the ground."

His passion was written in his eyes. Evil—or justice—seemed to be something he worked hard at. His excitement was infectious.

"What about the slaves?" Lilac asked, worried more about herself than the others. Slaves weren't in league with each other. They would kill each other for a scrap of bread.

He lifted an unconcerned shoulder then continued pacing.

She should have known not to expect much from him. She'd hoped that one person in the entire galaxy would care enough about an innocent slave to not let her die horribly in an inferno.

"I want to be free."

The only time she could remember saying those words was the first days of the first three times she was bought. She was so desperate, so afraid. She would have said anything, done anything, just to find her home, her family. No one wanted to grant a slave freedom, even if they could.

The man sat on the bed next to her, his eyes locked on the bowl of blood in her hands. He was angry and remorseful at the same time. "I am not in the business of freeing slaves. Not now. I have a mission to focus on."

"Then what do I do?" She dropped the cloth into the bowl and put them aside. She knelt on the floor in front of him. "Do you expect me to wait around on the street until someone picks me up for a trade? I'm not wanted! That's what that asshole Gam meant! I'm fresh, because no one wants to pay for me. If you don't help me- If no one helps me, I'll never be worth anything again. Not as a slave, and not as a human being!"

The man tried to push her away, but she spread his legs.

"What will it take? I'll do anything. The isolation chamber is hot and dry! We suffocate, dry up, and- Sometimes they forget about us and we don't live through the night! Please!" She stared into his brown eyes, pleading with him. Willing to do anything, her hands slid up his thighs. She had few skills to convince him.

His eyes were wide. "I am giving you the chance to escape. It's obvious that that is far more than anyone has ever done for you!" He raised his voice and stood, forcing Lilac away from him. "Do not blame me for your situation, and do not blame me for its continuation. You are dead with or without me! Is that understood?"

Lilac leaned her head against the edge of the mattress, digesting the information. He was right. She shouldn't have even had the thought. "Approximately how long do I have until the raid?"

The man pressed his fingers to his temples. "That all depends on how the negotiations are going."

"With Gam?"  
"No. With a man named Touloo."

Lilac groaned, the vibration reminding her that her mouth was bloody. The taste was awful, especially after her morning. The more senior of Club Coast slaves had forced her to vomit out the drink a lonely customer had guilted her into trying. Her job usually didn't involve any talking whatsoever so scrubbing the taste from her tongue hadn't been a luxury granted to her.

She carefully stood up, stretched, and perched on the edge of the bed again. She would have to do something about the perfectly made up bed before he left. Add a stain or two. No one ever left the bed unruffled, even if the bed had nothing to do with whatever activities went on. Did the man realize that? Probably not. He didn't seem to know what the private rooms were actually used for.

"Touloo is the scum on the bottom of most scum's boots." Lilac started to dread leaving the room. She wasn't sure how much time was left for their rendevous, but it wasn't nearly enough for her. "If you're doing business with him you're either worse than he is or desperate enough to risk your fortune and your life."

"What makes you say that?"

She reached for the bottle of vodka. She smelled like the stuff already, she figured having a drink wouldn't change the beating she got. She took a swig and used it as mouth wash, spitting it out into the bloody bowl. Her second swig went straight down her throat. She'd seen customers wince at the straight taste of vodka, but it was far from the worst thing she'd ever swallowed.

He watched her as she drank two more mouthfuls. When she offered him the bottle he took it, but only to put it back on the table.

"It's a stupid question. I hear a lot of conversations in this place. Touloo has led a lot of people into bankruptcy, and a lot more have disappeared after arguing with him. Gam? He had a problem with Touloo a year ago. In the middle of the night, more than half the staff at Club Coast was slaughtered in their beds. I was in isolation at the time, so I guess you could say I got lucky." She kept her expression as blank as she could.

The only friend she'd ever thought she had was killed by Touloo. No one remembered him, and she chose not to linger on his meaningless memory. He would have done the same for her.

"My partner has been drinking with him for the last four days." The dark haired man confessed with a roll of his eyes.

"Have you checked on him?"

"No."

Lilac had predicted his answer. He didn't seem like the type to check on others.. "He's dead. Or a traitor. You should probably go figure that out."

"And yourself?" The man touched her cheek, forcing her eyes to focus on him. He examined her face, looking at the bruise that felt like her most vulnerable point. His touch hurt, but she didn't let him know it. She squared her jaw and bared the pain.

Lilac focused on something she knew, instead of the man she would never know. "I have to make this place look like you took your feisty little slave girl for far more than she was worth. Which, by the way, you did. You paid three times what the most desired woman here costs."

He let go of her cheek, his hard eyes pointing themselves at the bed. "I must measure worth differently. I'll tell them you're cleaning up in here. To give you five minutes."

"You're generous," she observed. "What about that raid? What if I make it out alive? What then?"

He looked back at her, their eyes locking on each other. "Try to get somewhere safe. Take your own freedom. No one will ever offer it to you."

Lilac nodded. As the man started to turn around, she grabbed his arm, making a move like that usually got her beaten. She couldn't believe that he wouldn't hit her, but she needed an answer.

"What's your name?" She asked. Questions were another thing that she wasn't allowed, and for a man of the First Order, she couldn't be certain he would be kind with her anymore.

He didn't answer for several moments. When he did, he didn't look at her. "Kylo Ren."

"Lilac." She told him quickly. She knew it wasn't her name, but it was who she became. She couldn't remember who she used to be. "It's not very hard to guess, is it?"

A small smile lit his face as he gazed at her purple locks. "No, it's not."

"Oh, and," she stood and ruffled his hair, "you need to make an effort, too." Her hands expertly mussed his outfit "There. You look perfectly screwed with. Just like all the others."

He left, and was a stranger once again. Lilac hurried to make the room seem freshly used. The blood bowl came in handy for that. He'd wanted her feisty, after all.


	6. Skills (Kylo)

Kylo Ren made his way towards Touloo's building at a controlled pace. He needed to check on his partner but didn't feel any urge to rush. If Jona was dead, he wouldn't care. Because of the First Order's reputation he would, of course, have to take swift revenge, but it wouldn't be done for Jona's sake at all. The fool could rot, for all Kylo cared.

That slave, Lilac, had told him not to trust Touloo, knowing full well that he was meant to do business with the gang leader. Although Kylo had suspected as much, for someone else to come out and say that Touloo was a creep was more than enough proof. Especially Lilac. She'd given up a lot of information, but she didn't seem like the type to do so without thinking it through. Maybe it was Kylo thinking the best of humanity, or maybe she was clever. Whatever she was, she'd told him exactly what he wanted to hear.

Though a slave would have no reason to tell him the truth, she also had no reason to lie. He had sensed the truth, regardless. She was easy to read, when it came to the truths she gave.

He knew slaves weren't usually thrilled to talk about themselves, especially how they got to where they were, but he found himself wanting to know more. She seemed new to the trade, still wild and uncontrollable, but she laid herself at his knees like she was born to it. Her experience was tough to scale.

Kylo ran his fingers through his hair for the fifth time since leaving Club Coast. He was frustrated. She was nothing, and yet she'd mattered a lot. She'd ended his patience for Touloo and Jona. She'd convinced him that killing Gam, the slave trader, and raiding the buildings was the best way to 'negotiate' weapons tech. She also tore apart that small piece of his mind that wanted Gam to live, if only to work for the First Order. That bastard didn't deserve the life he led, nor any life he could have.

Kylo told himself to stop thinking about it. One thing at a time. Jona, then Touloo, and then Gam. If Lilac survived the raid by her own strength then maybe Kylo would have time for her later. Though he had no idea what he would do with her. Offer her a job? Doing what? She only had one set of skills, as far as he was aware.

And he hadn't even gotten the chance to test those skills.

He cursed. Those were temptations he had to avoid.

Her skin had been very soft. Her hair was beautiful, even while it was obviously unnaturally coloured. He felt her fingers on his thighs, her breath against his knees. If he focused he could feel her even closer.

"Fuck." Kylo grunted, startling a tourist next to him. He ignored them, his hand once again tugging at his scalp. He stopped a block away from Touloo's place of business, taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart while his eyes scanned the scene.

Touloo was well protected in his own building, but outside he had no one watching. He was an open target, welcoming enemies to ravage his guests. Kylo let himself take a moment to imagine himself sitting in the courtyard, a woman waiting on his every whim. It was a nice, spacious yard with mosaic flooring and graceful shade sails blowing in the wind.

Most businesses liked to play up the fact that the city was known for being a tropical paradise, on the edge of a beautiful ocean. Touloo made his building seem like a paradise of another type, with a fountain in the middle and subtle runes carved into marble pillars. Aesthetic vines and other green, weed-like plants grew as though they weren't meticulously cared for every night. Kylo knew every move the staff of Touloo made. Those vines were misted and wrapped along columns by men every night.

Able to breath, and walk straight, again, Kylo made his way towards the business. The courtyard of Touloo's was still busy with lounging locals and tourists with snapping cameras. No one even looked at Kylo as he walked past.

As Kylo stepped through a more covered section, into the hallway that led to the VIP room, Touloo's two personal bouncers straightened up and stared him down. Kylo refused to be intimidated. He could kill them in an instant if he so wished, especially because they let him get so close to them before he spoke.

"Is there a problem?" Kylo asked, ready for a fight. His hand hovered over the hilt of his lightsaber.

"No problem here." One guard said.

"None at all." The other frowned. "Except that you shouldn't be here. Your friend left yesterday. You have no more business here."

Kylo played along, frowning. "I haven't seen my friend around. Perhaps you could point me in his direction."

"Not our problem."

Kylo wanted inside without bloodshed. The fight was supposed to happen inside, quietly, so that the situation didn't explode all over the streets of the resort-city. He summoned his strength and laced his words with force compulsion. "Let me inside, and let no one else pass you."

He looked at them in turn, making sure their wills fell to his own. Their expressions slacked. Each took a step away from the door.

"Gentlemen." Kylo mocked as he passed them, the door opening silently. Inside, the scene was the same as it had been before. Herbal smoke, card games, and slaves passing out drinks. He thought of Lilac, his blood pumping in rhythm to his footsteps.

"Hey, buddy!" Jona exclaimed, his voice slurred from whatever had been in the several empty mugs on the table in front of him. "Come join us! Yahtzee!"

Touloo laughed along with Jona, but his eyes narrowed at his new guest. "We are playing hearts, you idiot! Pay attention!"

Kylo stood beside Touloo, towering over the man seated at the low felt table. "Your bouncers told me that Jona wasn't here."

"Must have been a miscommunication!" Touloo waved his hand dismissively, his eyes not leaving the knight. "He did leave, but he came back. They must have changed shifts in between those times. There's nothing the matter here. Won't you sit?"

"No." Kylo said carefully. His hand itched to grab his lightsaber and end the conversation then and there. Instead, he turned to his drunken partner. "Jona. We have other business to attend to. We are done here."

"Done?" Jona yelled, jumping to his feet. He swayed, and had to catch himself with an arm on Kylo's shoulder. "I'm not done yet."

"We can come back later." Kylo was getting impatient. He saw out of the corner of his eye that some of the men at another table had their hands on their weapons. Slaves quietly moved out of the way, used to the pattern of violence in the VIP room. A fight was about to happen, one way or another.

"Promise?" Jona whined. Kylo had never seen such a weak drunk.

"I promise, Jona."

Touloo stood up. "Stay. Drink." There was a warning in his voice; he was no longer amused.

"We will come back." Kylo assured him. It was the truth. If Kylo left the men alive, he would only return to slaughter them all.

"Then proceed." Touloo sighed. He signaled to his men to go back to their gambling. He knew better than to want a fight with the First Order.

Kylo, only marginally as disappointed as he thought he'd be, nodded and took Jona by the arm. "Excuse us. Keep whatever money Jona squandered."

Jona had had nothing on his person aside from money when he met Touloo. Kylo doubted any of it was left, but they had plenty left in the treasury, and back on the ship they'd landed in. There was no reason to ask for anything back. Even though Jona had apparently lost his shirt in a bet, Kylo dragged him out of Touloo's business without a glance backwards.

Jona's eyes roved over the crowds as he leaned on Kylo. He was grinning madly, a drastic change from his usual charm. "Why did we leave? I was winning."

"No, you weren't."

"I was going to start soon."

"We have business to attend to. I want to destroy a local establishment."

Jona laughed. His melodic amusement drew the attention of passersby, several women appearing as though they would swoon at the sight of the shirtless man.

Kylo fumed. "You need to sober up before we continue my plan. If I let you participate at all. Did you get any information at all from Touloo?"

Jona thought for several seconds as they continued the painfully slow meander through the busy streets. "I learnt that he has a really great poker face."

"You're useless." Kylo muttered.

Jona continued grinning as he reached into his shorts and, from somewhere in the dark recesses, drew out a data chip. "Not entirely useless, eh?" He words slurred far less than they had moments ago. His steps balanced out.

"Completely useless." Kylo never knew how much to trust Jona. He had been drunk, that much was obvious. No one could fake the way his eyes had glazed over. Somehow, Jona was unfazed only moments later, as if the last few days of drinking, gambling, and more drinking hadn't happened.

Kylo shook his head, telling himself not to bother with Jona. With Kylo's decision to kill everyone who had given him grief the last few days, there was nothing left to do but attack.

Most of the information they needed could just as well be learnt after killing the carriers. No one kept information on a strictly vocal limit of knowledge. There would be proof of dealings and weapons manufacturing somewhere, probably on a chip like Jona had produced. And Kylo Ren would find everything that Touloo and Gam were hiding. He would destroy them, and take everything they ever valued. Including, he found himself hoping for, Lilac.


	7. Go (LILAC AND KYLO)

For five days, Lilac had an incredibly hard time trying to hide her own movement. She did what she could to get her muscles used to moving again. She was in no position to run from the scene of the crime, but a shamble would do if Kylo Ren pulled through on the diversion.

That man, Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome, had given her hope. She had one chance to break out of life as a slave, and he was going to give it to her. He was going to open the door to her freedom. She had a lot of work to do to even be able to walk when the raid started.

After Kylo Ren had left Club Coast, Gam punished her thoroughly. He started with her favourite; isolation in the sauna. For most people a sauna was just a nice place to relax. For Gam's slaves, a sauna was a sweltering hole in a wall that destroyed spirits as easily as it made them sweat.

Being locked in a hot, steaming box for hours nearly killed her; especially when she was trying to do exercise whilst inside. She knew it was a stupid idea, but she didn't know it well enough to stop. She continued as her dehydration got worse. Lilac felt the movement of the stretches in her soul. She could move. That was a miracle in itself.

She knew she wouldn't be strong enough to get far away. If she was in the middle of a shift when the raid happened she wouldn't be able to stand at all. As much as she tried, she couldn't find a way to move her legs without being noticed by guests when she entertained. Gam threatened to tie her down, and she had to stop her fidgeting entirely before his punishments got worse.

Her muscles ached all day. Lilac was elated. She hadn't felt anything like it in years. She hadn't felt active, useful, since she was much younger. The most exercise she'd gotten while a slave was when she was transferred from one owner to the next at a slave market.

The punishments she endured from Gam when she was caught gave her more room to strengthen up. A lot more movement was allowed in a back room while she waited for whips, or electrocution, or another torture. With no one watching her and nothing to do, she exercised as much as she could while her wrists and ankles were chained to the wall.

The way she'd been treated during the last fifteen years, specifically malnourished so she couldn't escape, she was going to need more than a few days worth of wiggling her legs around. She had such low muscle mass that the doors themselves could be trouble.

The slave dorms next to Club Coast had thin doors so it didn't take much to open and close them. When the slaves needed to be locked in, there was a heavy metal sliding door on the outside that could be locked in place. It would be impossible for slaves to open it; the bouncers and other employees of Club Coast had trouble letting slaves out.

After Lilac's fifth day of training, she had to ignore that voice telling her how impossible it all was. She couldn't rely on her own strength to get her free from her captors. Her own strength was the only hope she had, but it would never be enough. She was weak. It was a miracle she didn't get sick more often, but her immune system was meticulously cared for.

Gam was from a long line of slave-traders. He'd had famous mentors. He knew exactly how to keep slaves well kept while also keeping them from having hope or showing the marks of abuse. He'd put a lot of money into his small empire, and every moment of his life was dedicated to his business. No one had gotten past him before. If a slave he owned went missing there was never anything left to find. Not that anyone ever searched.

Lilac didn't want to admit it, but she was afraid. She spent most of her days afraid, but it was different when she had a chance to escape. One chance. If she failed and was caught, she would be lucky if they only killed her.

On the sixth and seventh days after she met Kylo Ren, Lilac was on edge. She sat rigid, waiting for a sign that the First Order was about to raid the building. Every person entering Club Coast was her dark stranger, and every cork popping out of a bottle was a gun-shot signaling, to her, the time to run.

She had to be reminded several times that she was meant to be working, courtesy of more aggressive customers. Gam eyed her suspiciously, but said nothing while she apologized and tried to do a better job of being her normal slave self. She was chastised, her feet whipped privately.

Eventually Gam, tired of how she had been acting, whipped her so hard her feet swelled and bruised. He was careful not to leave any permanent damage, but he was merciless when it came to causing her pain and making her bleed.

Lilac didn't have a chance to rest. She had to continue her shift with her injured feet wrapped in gauze, and then covered with decorative slippers that offered no real comfort nor any traction on the mosaic tile.

If she'd been given a break, she would have cried. Her one chance was ruined. She had trouble walking before; after Gam punished her it was nearly impossible.

She didn't want to live as a slave any longer.

There was so much fear, so much pain.

Death didn't scare her as much as staying in Club Coast did. She wasn't going to put up with it any longer. During the raid, one way or another, she was getting out. And, one way or another, she wasn't going to let them take her back alive.

-KYLO-

"In position." The final team was ready to start the attacks, next to him in a back alley courtyard. Three businesses would be ended by the First Order within minutes of Kylo Ren giving the command. He'd organized the attacks, readied his troops, and paid off the official city policing squad. He was taking zero chances.

Touloo and his gang, Gam and Club Coast, and an inn that was known for housing rebels were all surrounded. Kylo had gotten the green-light to bring an entire army to the resort for the attack, but he'd decided it wasn't worth it. He opted for precision in several smaller groups.

The attacks would be swift, and fatal for all who got in their way. Even slaves and tourists wouldn't be spared. There wasn't time to interrogate each and every person to decide who could be let free. Everyone had to be assumed an enemy.

Kylo thought about Lilac as he watched Club Coast. He would be with the leading team heading in, but he wouldn't have time to look for her. If she was in the spot he'd found her in the first time—a table over from Gam—he would see if she was at all taking advantage of the opportunity he presented her with.

Not that it made a difference in the grand scheme of things. Slaves typically ended up as fodder when their owners were attacked. She wouldn't be any different unless she'd taken his words to heart. Even then, her own efforts could mean little in the chaos he was about to cause.

He intended to find out if she had it in her to be free. He was curious. For all he knew she could have been beaten to death shortly after he met her, and it wouldn't surprise him one bit.

"Sir?"

Kylo tilted his head towards the troops at his left. They were waiting, their helmets directed towards Club Coast, past the dark alley and street that separated them. "We're waiting for that group of tourists to be turned away. Once they are out of sight I will give the signal."

"Yes, sir."

It took several minutes. The tourists tried to barter and bribe their way into Club Coast, but even from across the wide, dark street Kylo could tell that they weren't the usual type of clientele Club Coast accepted. They looked like they had spent the last of their money a week ago and had been schmoozing and begging since then.

It wasn't uncommon for tourists to waste their money at the resort but try to stay at the luxurious place anyway. They were desperate enough to steal more often than not, and it never amounted to anything. They became trapped in a loop where they would lose everything, only to gain it all back, and just as quickly spend it all.

Club Coast couldn't trust those kinds of people. Gam couldn't risk it, with his underhanded dealings.

Of course, none of that mattered to Kylo. It was a business model he appreciated, but at the same time the business was about to go under. The owner was about to die at the hand of Kylo Ren, his entire empire brought down by the First Order. What kind of business model was that?

The tourists left, rejected and humiliated.

"Do you have a clear line of sight?" Kylo asked. The dark street was still too crowded. If they couldn't take the bouncers out quietly, then the people inside would be alerted to the attack.

"I can get one." A sniper replied, her voice forceful with focus. Kylo trusted her as much as he could trust any of them.

"You have go. As soon as the bouncers are down, Coast team has go. As we step through the front doors, Inn team has go. Inn team, tell Courtyard when to go. All ready. We have one shot."

Kylo took a deep breath. His mask seemed to disappear as he focused. He was ready for a battle, or a slaughter. He was ready for the blood, the screams, the action. He was ready to find Lilac's body among a pile of others. He could see her, in his mind's eye. He could imagine her small, fragile body covered in red. She was beaten and bruised. She was lifeless. Hollow.

She wasn't putting up a fight, anymore. She wasn't feisty or worth anything.

She was cold.

Her hands were still.

Kylo caught himself, his body shaking. The teams were waiting for his go, no one saying a thing over transmitter. His mouth was dry, his spit doing nothing to loosen the knot in his throat.

He was ready for a fight. He was ready to die. Somehow, he wasn't ready to lose her.

"Go"

The bouncers hit the ground. In seconds, the stormtroopers would be inside Club Coast and Kylo would have his answer.

Screw the mission. He had other priorities.

 _/AN/_

 _HI THERE! Thank you for reading! Thank you to the followers and favs! It really helps me know that this series is being enjoyed, which helps me get the motivation to edit and update! If you can spare a minute or two, please leave a review. I would love to know exactly what you're enjoying about my writing. Again, thank you. You're amazing and special and I truly appreciate your attention_


	8. End of an Era (Lilac)

Lilac's muscles ached, and she was more exhausted than she could ever remember being. Every day that passed made the impossibility of running from life as a slave more evident. She had given up on Kylo Ren's raid, despite her initial excitement.

Had he lied about the raid? Was he trying to give her more false hope?

Was Lilac that gullible?

No, she told herself countless times, even though she couldn't bring herself to believe it. She wasn't gullible. If he didn't want to do something for her, if he wasn't at least kind, he would have slept with her, right? He had his chance. She was bound by her master's law to sleep with every man that paid for a room and her time.

He didn't touch her. He didn't kiss her. He didn't want anything to do with her until he found out that she wanted Gam dead more than anyone.

Just like every night, Gam had her kneeling next to him while he gave his friends freedom to do whatever they like with her. So far she'd been molested, insulted, hit, and a drink spilt on her. It wasn't the worst she'd ever been treated, but she'd only been working for two hours and it had been relentless.

She was serving desserts for the evening, little cakes and colourful pastries that looked like they had been bathed in liquid sugar. She wanted so desperately to try one, but she always knew to keep her hands to herself. The sugar rush wouldn't be worth the toothache and punishments.

She considered how many things in her life weren't worth the punishments, and it saddened her. Every little thing she'd ever wanted was off-limits. She couldn't even walk outside or open a window whenever she wanted to. She was suffocated in the dark club, her brain rotting with each day. Even her body, kept perfect and beautiful no matter what was done to her, was left to decay slowly, her muscles never given enough of a workout to be sustained.

If she were free, she would appreciate her body. As a slave, the only reason to appreciate her own body was because she made so much money for Gam when she was brought into one of the private rooms. She was a commodity, and a pricey one at that.

Lilac had inspected her own limbs after Kylo Ren left her fully dressed and untouched. She didn't know whether it was because of how she looked, or because he had other things on his mind. He'd paid a lot of money just to tell her to be careful. He didn't seem like the type to do whatever it took to watch out for lowly slaves.

So it had to be her, right? Was she not pretty enough? Was she, perhaps, just not his type? She'd found that some people didn't enjoy sex slaves. To her, that was odd. Sex was just sex, wasn't it?

Lilac had imagined sex with him for days after he left. She imagined him turning back to her and pushing her onto the bed. She imagined that he wasn't rough and abusive. She imagined that rather than either having her do it all, or doing it all himself, they would melt together and both be satisfied. So what if he had paid for it? Why couldn't she enjoy it, too?

Gam pulled on her hair. "What do you think, little Lilac?"

"Sir?" She was caught off guard, but tried not to show it. He tugged on her purple locks again.

"There is a rumour that this city isn't a paradise anymore. What do you think?" His narrow eyes warned her. She glanced around to see who was listening. The four men at the low table stared at her. They were influential in the city, and people Gam rarely made time for.

Lilac smiled graciously. "Sir, I believe that this city is paradise. I've never not thought so."

"Good, good." He let go of her hair, smacking the back of her head for emphasis. "Well taught."

Soon, she thought. Soon nothing would stand in her way of getting the hell out of Club Coast. She didn't want to be a slave anymore, and she wasn't going to put up with Gam. If it killed her, she would get away from him and his empire of slave-traders and black market dealers.

As she was thinking about her grand plans, someone on the main floor screamed. All hell broke loose in a moment, and in the next Kylo Ren appeared. He was surrounded by stormtroopers that were firing into the crowd of scrambling people. Some clients still didn't realize what was happening, but Lilac knew.

"You're late." She said with a small smile, staring with wide eyes at Kylo. She knew it was him, even though he had a mask on. The way he moved, his passion and determination, told her that this was the man who wanted to personally destroy Gam.

Gam who, while she was turned away, had shouted orders to organize his men. With one last glance at the First Order raiders, he grabbed Lilac by her hair again and pulled her up to her feet. She started to scream, but he threw her towards a bouncer. She was lifted, and held over the bouncer's shoulder.

"Take her to the dorms, and out the back. I am not leaving this place empty handed."

While people were dying below, and Kylo searched for Gam, Lilac was being taken away. She screamed, though it burned in her throat. She was calling out to Kylo, but had no way to tell if he heard her. Over the other screams and sounds of a mass killing, it was unlikely that he would.

"Shut her up!" Gam yelled. True to his style, Gam hit her himself immediately after giving the order. She didn't see what hit her, but it did an excellent job of shutting her up.

Lilac's vision was blurry, and she felt as though something had been knocked loose in her skull. She bounced on the bouncer's shoulder as he headed through a door into the employees-only hallway. They would be in the dorms before anyone knew that Gam had left at all.

It was supposed to be her chance at escape, and Lilac was in the hands of her owner. She was the one slave that wouldn't be freed from Gam during the raid. She was the one slave that had such horrible luck that she would never be free, even when she was given the perfect opportunity.

As the bouncer ran, Gam somewhere in front while Lilac looked backwards, Lilac was thrown up and down and side to side with his movements. Every bob and dip was painful but she couldn't react to it. Her vision dimmed with each step, and she wondered if she would have to worry about being Gam's only remaining slave from Club Coast. She could be dead by the time they reached the end of the hall.

It took her some time to realize that she was outside, but the night air relieved some of the pain in her skull. The sudden stop the bouncer made did not.

"Get. Back. Inside." Gam said slowly. The two turned around and barricaded themselves in the back room of the dorms. "Shit! Surrounded!"

"We have to call for back-up." The bouncer said, much too calmly.

"No one will come!" Gam shrieked. "No one with enough of an army to face the First Order would help us! We've screwed them all, haven't we? Dammit!"

Lilac was staring at the barricaded door. If she could get down from the bouncer she could run outside. She would either be safe or she wouldn't have to wonder how to kill herself later on. She had no peripheral vision, her limbs barely responded to her, and the possessive arm clinging to her was going to be hard to shake off. All she had was determination.

Determination didn't help. She wriggled as the bouncer reacted to something, and he only gripped her harder. Her ribs ached, her vision was red. Everything was going wrong. She'd imagined the grand escape to be much different, much more in her favour.

"Shoot him!" Gam yelled suddenly. Lilac hit the floor so hard she had to gasp for air. Shots were fired. She couldn't see from where, and she didn't wait to find out.

Lilac painfully dragged her body to the door, lifted herself onto her knees, and shakily tried to move the metal piece holding the outer door closed. She needed more leverage, and the only way she would get it would be on her swollen, blistered feet.

She rose, groaning at all the pain in her body. There was noise behind her, but she couldn't hear it properly anymore past the ringing in her ears. The metal bar hadn't been put into place properly, and it slid from its spot, though it took all of her strength to move it. Thankfully, the door swung open when she put her weight on it.

She fell to her hands and knees in the direct line of a firing squad.

"I don't want to die in here." She said. She was sure she said it, even though her own ears didn't hear it. She was only half sure that they would hear her squeaking voice anyway.

Lilac wanted to scream from the pressure she had to once again put on her feet, but she kept her mouth shut and kept moving, each step slow and dizzying. Four stormtroopers surrounded her, not letting her go farther than the advancing line of soldiers.

It was time, she thought. Time to remember who she was and what she was born for. She believed in an afterlife where she would join the family she'd forgotten long ago. Were they dead? Did they miss her? Did they forget her, too?

If they did remember her, and they remembered the little girl she must have been at some point, how would she tell them what had happened? How would she tell loving parents that when they left her, she became a slave. How would she tell them that she died a slave? How would she tell them that she thought she found someone to love, only to die what could have been moments before being in his arms?

Her vision finally left her, and she felt herself falling. The world became peaceful. All the weight on her limbs lifted. Her pain was gone. There were no more screams. She was, at last, free.

That was the end of Lilac the slave.


	9. Alpha And Omega and Gam (Kylo)

Club Coast was chaos the moment Kylo ran inside, troopers at his back. Tourists and locals alike, soldiers and vacationers, were all mown down in the cross-fire between the First Order and Gam's partners. There was screaming. A lot of screaming. Music blared from speakers with no one to control it.

Kylo's lightsaber cut through employees without a hint of hesitation. Anyone who looked even remotely threatening was either killed or thrown back towards the troops. He jumped on top of a tall table, gazing up at the balcony for just a moment to see purple hair looking down at him. Gam was there, too, trying to keep his head on straight while his entire clientele was being slaughtered.

Kylo's blood boiled. Gam. He had to die.

Gam grabbed Lilac by her hair, her face twisting in pain. Kylo killed another bodyguard, launching himself from the table to head for the VIP stairs.

Kylo made it up to the balcony just in time to watch Gam disappear through an employees-only door. A bouncer carrying Lilac on his shoulder followed the boss. Kylo eyed the space between himself and that exit. There were many people in the way, a quarter slaves, a quarter bouncers, and half influential people from all around the city.

It took him moments to slice as many of them in half as he needed to get to that door.

Kylo could tell which way they ran by the shouts. Gam was still giving out orders to whoever was around. Kylo ran his gloved hand along the walls, smearing blood over the hideous blue paint. He wasn't in a rush. There was nowhere for them to go. The First Order had already won. Kylo stepped over bodies, skirting around troops who still had work to do. The business he was conducting at Club Coast was a complete massacre.

Kylo found them just as they were locking one of the outer doors. Gam looked absolutely terrified; he must have seen the firing squad outside. No one was leaving Club Coast without Kylo's permission, and most of the soldiers wouldn't wait for the order.

Kylo considered meandering towards his prey, playing with them. They didn't seem to notice the predator until his lightsaber cast light over the walls. Gam whirled towards his enemy and snarled.

"Shoot him!" Gam shouted as Kylo stalked towards the three. The purple haired slave hit the floor as the imposing bouncer grabbed for his pistol.

Kylo deflected as many shots as he could, and dodged the rest. The bouncer was a terrible shot. Gam was panicking, backing up and bracing himself against the wall. The bouncer wouldn't go down without a fight, and Kylo readied himself for the chance attack.

"Coward!" The bouncer yelled.

Kylo stopped defending himself and stared at the wall-sized man. "Me?"

One more shot was fired, and then Kylo had stabbed the bouncer in his chest and yanked the lightsaber upwards. The bouncer was dead, his torso and skull sliced in two. More red, still warm and oozing, splattered the cheap blue walls.

"And now you." Kylo turned towards Gam, who had produced a pistol from somewhere in what few clothes he was wearing. "Your turn."

Kylo made the mistake of glancing past Gam. Lilac was outside, slowly approaching his men. She was being surrounded by armed stormtroopers that had no idea who she was. Kylo groaned internally. She was almost more trouble than she was worth.

He could let her die. She didn't matter, to him. She was no one. Just a slave.

But was she, really? Why did he seem to care about what happened to her, if she didn't matter? She was right there in front of him, and he wanted her closer. He needed her closer.

He needed those troops to put their weapons down before they killed her.

His mind went around and around in a few short seconds while he just watched.

Gam was ranting about some master plan and political assertion, but Kylo was done playing with him. There was finally a reason to hurry. Kylo stepped forward and quickly cut several bands of flesh from Gam then proceeded towards the firing squad in one swift motion, leaving the club owner to his anti-climatic end. Blood pooled in the hallway, from both of the men the knight left in pieces.

"Hold!" Kylo commanded as he strode towards the firing squad. Lilac didn't seem to notice them halt, or anything at all. She was standing still, her shoulders slumped and her body tilting back and forth.. Kylo reached her just as she passed out, and she fell into his embrace.

She lay in his arms, unconscious and in far worse shape than she had been when he last saw her. There was thick blood covering her head, and trickling down to her feet. She looked far more fragile than she had before, and far less feisty.

He didn't know what her plan had been, only that she'd thought of it with a cracked skull.

"Sir?"

Kylo was broken out of his thoughts. He brushed wet hair away from her face as gently as he could, blurring fresh blood along her cheek bones. "I want her taken to the ship. She is coming with us, as my guest. Have the med bay look at her."

"Yes, sir!" The four that had surrounded the slave saluted. One of them stepped forwards to take Lilac from his arms. Kylo hesitated, only for a moment, before handing her over. He had work to do.

The blood spilt in Club Coast had to be purified in flame. Any survivors needed to be interrogated. Everything inside needed to be put into its place.

Then he could admit to himself that he'd done it all for her. If she hadn't been there, he wouldn't have put on such a show.

She was hurt so badly, though, Kylo wasn't certain his efforts would be rewarded. She was barely alive as it was.

If she was dead, Kylo would probably be better off. If she lived, he would have to decide what to do with her. She was weak, and weaker still. If he didn't prove her worth to Commander Snoke and General Hux, she would be sent off. For his own good, they would say. The First Order does not need useless little girls taking up valuable time.

And they would be right.

 **/AN/**

 ** _Thank you for the feedback!_**

 ** _I hope you're enjoying this story. I would love to hear what you have to say about it. Any comments, questions, or concerns are welcome!_**


	10. Warmth (Lilac)

/AN/

Hi. I've been sick the last two weeks and haven't touched this site in that long. I'm very sorry about that.

I've started feeling a lot better the last few days, and yesterday I got my second tattoo! So I figured now is a good time to come back and treat everyone to a new Lilac chapter

WARNINGS: Suicide. Cause I should let you know when this stuff comes up. Technically, if suicide bothers you, you could skip the chapter. There will be references to it, and some recap, in the next. But it won't be right there and in your face. Maybe I'm just being sensitive today. That's not a bad thing.

I hope you're all doing well. You mean a lot to me, you really do. Thank you for all of your support.

* * *

Lilac had woken up in strange, new places before. She was a slave. It happened. But this time was far more disappointing than any other. This time, she had almost been free.

She'd seen the firing squad aiming at her. She'd felt the sweet release of death as her vision went black and she fell. There was no pain, but she was certain she'd died.

She stared at the blank white ceiling, angry at how unlucky she was. After everything she'd been put through, she was ready for her life to end. She was ready for death. Still, she had the poor fortune of not being killed at point-blank by four stormtroopers. How many people could say they survived something like that?

Lilac lifted her head and looked around the room. It was a small room in a med-bay, furnished with a single bed and two chairs. On shelves and in containers sat medical supplies from bandages to scalpels and scrubs. There was a single clipboard nearby, but no one had ever taught her to read the odd symbols.

Lilac was wearing more clothes than she could ever remember having. She had shorts on that nearly covered her knees, and a wrapped shirt that covered her entire torso with sleeves to her elbows. The fabric was light and gauzy, but it wasn't as bad as the tiny bikini's she'd worn as her slave outfit. It wasn't purple either.

The scrubs she had been dressed in were stark white to match the rest of the room. The entire room looked carefully scrubbed and sanitized. The bed she was laid on had fresh sheets. Even the single viewport was so clear she had to look twice to see that she wasn't laid bare to the elements of space.

Lilac stood up, flinching at the sharp pain in her feet. She looked down and saw thick bandages covering them. She started from her toes, her eyes taking in her body fully. She checked for other bandages and injuries. There were a few bruises from where the bouncer had held on to her.

Her fingers lingered on her head. Her hair hadn't been cut more than a few inches in several years. Clients liked her long, purple hair. It was thick and wavy, just the way Gam wanted it. It was a pain to care for, but mostly someone else did it for her. It just sat against her back limply as another piece of decoration for her cheap body.

Someone had not only cut her signature hair, but they'd shaved every strand from the top of her head. She couldn't see her bare scalp, but she could feel the difference under the bandage. She could just barely remember Gam hitting her over the head, which she assumed led to the bandage. He'd done more damage than she would have expected from him.

"Bald?" Her throat burned. She told herself not to speak, but she was so shocked she repeated it again. "Bald and useless. What is he going to do to me?"

Gam would not be happy about having a bald, broken, suicidal slave. She was the only one he'd grabbed from Club Coast on his way out, and the only one he would have until his finances were recovered. He was almost as unlucky as she was.

"I want to be free." She remembered saying the words to Kylo Ren. Every syllable held more meaning in it than her miserable life had in all of her years. Freedom. Her ultimate goal. One of the many things she would never have.

Lilac took two steps, a pained scream locked in her throat. Not only did the movement burn her feet with white-hot pain, but the pain from her head wound nearly blinded her. The lights were twice as bright, and the blackness of space through the viewport was consuming.

She'd been brought onto a ship and taken from the planet she'd called home for several years. It wasn't a good home, but it was her home. She didn't know anything else after her servitude in Club Coast. Wherever Gam was taking her, it would never be the same.

Except she would still be a slave: his slave.

She stared out at the stars. They were so far away, but any one of them could become her newest cage. Any one could be Gam's next slave den.

Lilac let loose one single tear. Her anger returned to her as soon as the tear dried on her cheek.

"I will not. Be. A slave." She said slowly, her jaw tight. Her hands balled into fists as she turned away from the viewport.

There was no way for her to get off of the ship on her own. No one on a ship that welcomed Gam would help her. She was on her own.

She moved slowly, purposefully, around the room. She checked drawers, tipped over jars, examined every surface. She didn't have many choices. She breathed out, a long, purposeful breath, and grasped a tool in her hand. She kept telling herself she was ready, and that it was okay.

Lilac pushed the bed closer to the viewport and sat on it. She imagined the stars getting closer and closer until she was somewhere completely new. She didn't remember where she was born, but she wished she was there. The only thing she remembered from that place was a large fire, and she hoped that wasn't what it was like all the time.

"It's over. I'm done." She told herself. She wouldn't be a slave anymore. She had one way to be free. One way to take her life into her own hands for once. One last rebellious move.

Lilac lifted the scalpel she'd found. It was so sharp she thought she would cut herself just by looking at it. She held it to her neck. It would be quick and painless. Then she would be free.

Her hand hesitated, and her mind started to doubt the effectiveness of cutting her own throat. She didn't want to screw up and wake up in the same bed but with her hands bound and Gam leering down at her.

Her fingers tightly gripped the scalpel as she dragged it along her left wrist. It stung, but only for a moment. Blood started pouring out of the cut, and it was a welcome warmth over her fingers.

Her left hand had trouble grasping the scalpel. Her fingers were slick with blood, and her entire hand felt limp.

The sharp blade cut across her right wrist just as easily, even with her strength quickly fading.

Blood fell onto the clean sheets and dripped to the tiled floor. Red and black, bright bursts of life and quick replies from her near death, filled her vision.

Lilac decided to look at the stars. She would fade away with her thoughts focused on where she thought her home might be. Somewhere wonderful, she imagined, where her family was waiting. Somewhere that didn't leave her so afraid and hopeless that suicide was her only way out.

Somewhere with a man like Kylo Ren. A man that was passionate and knew exactly what he wanted. A man that had the capacity to be considerate, and the strength of mind not to let a tragic story compel him. A man that was handsome, determined, and strong. A man that respected her freedom as much as he respected his own.

Lilac smiled.

If she'd known Kylo Ren more than just the few minutes they'd shared, perhaps he really would have been the man she'd dreamt of. Perhaps he would have been far greater.

The door behind her opened, and she whipped her head around. Her eyes burned, her skull throbbed from just the action of turning her head. She felt as though she was going to pass out before discovering who it was.

"Lilac?" Kylo Ren, his helmet under his arm, stared at her.

She tried to hide herself. She was clothed up and bald. She felt hideous without all of the effort it usually took to make her appealing to clients. What did he see? She was damaged property, again.

She didn't care why he was there at all. She guessed he was in cahoots with Gam. It didn't matter. She could feel herself letting go. She was losing blood quickly.

Kylo's eyes fell downwards, and widened when he saw the blood. He leaned back into the hallway and shouted for a doctor before running to her side. He grabbed bandages, the helmet dropping to the floor with a loud thud.

"Don't." Lilac said gently as he tried to reach for her arms. "I won't let Gam have me."

She was tired. Her eyelids were heavy. She felt herself drifting on a soft wave, resting away all of the pain she'd experienced.

"Do not fall asleep." Kylo demanded, taking her hands. "Gam is dead. I killed him."

Lilac could hardly hear him. His body was so warm. She leaned into him as he started wrapping her wrists.

"I swear to you, Lilac. Live through this and you will always have your freedom. You will be under my protection. Anything you want, I will give you."

"Why?" Her eyes closed. From somewhere far away she heard med-bay staff rush in. Her head against his chest was all she cared about.

"Because I want to be the one person in the universe that will never give up on you."


	11. Take Care (Kylo and Lilac

The staff of the med-bay took Lilac's care into their hands, and Kylo watched them with a heated glare. There were several things he wanted to say.

Why was no one watching her?

Why did they leave a damned scalpel on the counter?

Why did it take them so long to get in the room?

Why did no one check on her?

If she didn't live through her suicide attempt, he would kill them all.

Kylo knew it was an empty promise. His temper was rising, but they were the only med-staff on the ship. He wasn't that foolish. Still, he felt the need to kill someone.

"How is she?" Kylo asked after they had examined her wrists for the tenth time.

"The blood clotted early on, and the transfusion was successful. Your actions saved her life. But she did lose a lot of blood before you found her so we're not out of the woods yet. We will have someone here to observe her and, of course, we will make certain that she cannot make an attempt on her own life again."

"See to it. I will stay here for now. Make sure to replace the sheets, her clothes." Kylo ran his fingers through his hair, still glaring at the doctor. "Do what you have to do to make her comfortable and to keep her alive. She is as much your responsibility as she is mine, now."

"We understand, sir."

"For your sake, I hope so."

Kylo paced the room, waiting for Lilac to wake up. She was so badly hurt both because of what she'd done to herself and what had been done to her. The doctor said it could take hours for her to wake up. Until then they gave her a blood transfusion, small doses of corrective medicine, and checked her bandages every hour.

Kylo knew that they were paying such close attention to her because of his threatening presence. Whatever their motivation, he was glad they were finally doing their job.

She stirred in her sleep, and Kylo took up a chair at the left of her med-bay bed. "Lilac?"

She sighed. It was a soft noise that matched her peaceful sleeping face. She had such a hard expression normally, and it was different to have her so calm.

"Lilac..." Kylo pressed his fingertips to his temple. Even with all the bandages, he could see the beautiful slave she had been beaten into. Years of 'lessons' had made her attractive to a certain kind of person, and she carried it around even as an injured woman in a hospital bed.

Her slim form, malnourished and fragile, stirred. Lilac's eyes opened slightly, and her head turned towards him. She looked as though she wasn't entirely conscious, her gaze wandering around the room lazily. She made a noise low in her throat.

"You're safe. For now." He added, reminding himself that she was at the mercy of the First Order. She was his guest, but as far as Snoke was concerned she was still a slave. She didn't belong with the First Order.

"Gam?" She stuttered, flinching. She was still in immense pain, and it showed on her face as she slowly woke up.

"Dead. I swear it." Kylo took her right hand in his left, telling himself it was for her comfort.

"Did he suffer?"

"No." He answered. Her fingers were cold. She tried to squeeze his hand, but she was too weak.

"Damn." Her lips curved up in a tight smile.

Kylo reached over with the hand not holding hers. He touched her forehead and found her skin burning. "I should get a doctor."

"Not yet." Lilac tilted her head back to stare up at the ceiling.

Kylo sat still for several moments, watching as her chest rose and fell with her shaking breaths. Kylo had seen the blood running down the edges of her hair, and then he'd seen the wicked wound under the bandages, and he struggled not to find it impressive how she was still alive at all. She was a surviver. She was strong. He'd thought she was fragile and naive, and perhaps she was naive, but her strength was in her body's will to live.

Even if her mind told her to let go and die, her body refused to give in. It must have been a curse to her. A cruel irony. Kylo could almost laugh about it, but one look at her had his heart aching for her.

He was still human, afterall. Even if he had caused similar injuries to others in the past, she was a different case.

Kylo tightened his hand around hers. "How do you feel?"

"Ugly. Broken. Scarred." She laughed shortly, which brought about a painful coughing fit. Kylo sat her up and rubbed her back. She continued, "I feel worthless."

"You are not worthless. I value you." He told her plainly, keeping any emotion from his voice.

Lilac hugged her knees. "I don't have anything I can give you. Except... Well, you won't want that now."

"I never did."

Lilac's head rose. She stared at him with a pained expression. "Is that so?"

Kylo cursed. "I don't mean it like that. You're more than an attractive woman. I have no time for attractive women. You could be a strong apprentice." He stated quickly, though it wasn't entirely true. He had thought about her, and wanted her body pressed closely to his own. He'd wanted her sweat-slicked and panting, begging for him to do something, anything-

He was a man, afterall.

Kylo sized her up and down. Could she be a strong apprentice? He hadn't thought about that. He'd been trying to find something in her since she fell into his arms outside Club Coast. She was not force sensitive. He found that fact unfortunate, but knew that a person could still be powerful without the force.

If he really saw strength in her, he would take her on as an apprentice regardless of her relationship with the force. She was also used to doing whatever she was told, and that would become very useful.

Kylo let a smile form on his face, "I'll find something useful for you to do. Gardening, perhaps?"

Lilac touched her treated wrists. "I don't know if I'm any good at that."

"Did you do anything else? Anything other than serve crab and martinis?"

Lilac shifted on the bed. Kylo was looking at her, but not in the way she was used to being looked at. It wasn't pity, or lust. He was being sincerely curious and helpful. He asked about her life beyond being a slave, and that in itself was a shock.

There was also a lilt of humour in his voice; he was treating her as an equal, or so she though. She couldn't remember experiencing it before, even with less experienced slave girls.

Oh, she pitied herself.

Kylo wanted to know what she was good at, but she couldn't think of a single thing she knew how to do, or wanted to learn. All she knew was how to be seen and not heard. She was made to be pretty. She was trained to be compliant.

"You have to know... I barely remember a time before I was a slave. I know there was one. I think I was happy. But my home... my family..." She stopped speaking, ignoring her desire to finally tell someone about the forest. She always expected to be told to move on, to leave the memory of flame and death behind her. Everyone experienced loss and fear. Why would hers be so interesting?

"What do you remember?" Kylo leaned in. His black hair fell in front of his face.

"A fire." Lilac choked out. She told herself not to cry. She was safe. He promised her that she was safe, and she wanted desperately to believe him.

"Your home was on fire?" HIs eyebrows knit together as he focused on understanding her words.

"Everything. The planet." For all Lilac knew it wasn't an exaggeration. To her childish eyes it seemed the entire galaxy was in flame.

"You lost it all." Kylo predicted.

"Yes. And I was found. Then I was sold." Lilac looked at her hands, and saw blood that wasn't really there. It didn't shock her. The fur matted to her bandages didn't shock her. The small fox across the room, beckoning her closer with sharp whimpers didn't shock her. She'd had visions of the animal before.

In her dreams, the fox led her into a cave filled with the faceless corpses of two people she knew had died. At the end of the catacombs there was a pool of black, sticky blood that tried to drown her. Beyond that, purple liquid oozed into the cave, feeding the pool and breaking into smoke above.

The moment she would start to remember where she was, flame would burn at her eyes until she was blind and there was nothing left but screams. She didn't know who was screaming; she only knew that her own screams joined them.

Kylo cupped her chin, drawing her eyes to look at him. The images faded.

"Lilac? What's wrong?" He was confused, but his eyes were angry.

Lilac rocked her body, trying with all her might to focus on him. "I apologize." It was an automatic answer that made her lips smile mechanically.

"Don't apologize to me. Tell me what you were seeing." He pulled her face closer, halting her erratic movement.

"A fox. Dying. Leading me somewhere."

She'd never told anyone about the visions. No one asked. She felt insane for seeing foxes and fires. What would Gam have done if he knew that the dance floor filled with black blood on a regular basis?

"Is that what you remember?"

"Yes." She groaned, the single word taking all her breath.

Something seemed to click into place in Kylo's mind. His voice was decisive when he said, "You will require therapy. I'll make sure the doctor knows. And physical rehabilitation after the way Gam kept you." He spat the name as though it was a horrid curse. "Get ready, Lilac. You are going to be a changed woman after I am through with you. You won't remember the slave-girl at all."

Lilac listened to the echo of his words around the stark white room. He kept his eyes trained on her, and she couldn't bring herself to look away after his declaration.

Did she want to be someone else? A new woman? She did want to forget what had been done to her, and what she'd done, but those things also influenced a large part of who she wanted to become. If Kylo thought it was best she would follow his orders.

After all, she didn't know how to be free. She was a slave, and she didn't know anything different.


	12. Sex Appeal (Lilac)

Lilac touched her scalp. The bandages had only just been taken off, and she stared at her image in a floor length mirror. There was a large scar on her head, from the corner of her right eye up the center of her skull. She still couldn't picture what she'd been hit with, though Kylo said it must have been something large and heavy Gam had picked up off the ground.

It still ached to move, her muscles struggling with their new freedom. She was given her own room, one that was at least twice as large as the one she shared at Club Coast. Kylo had apologized for it being so small, something about short notice accommodations, but her eyes had lit up when she first saw it.

She'd asked if people usually slept in such large rooms, and why he thought anything larger would be better. She had no idea what to fill the room with to make it less empty; it was so lonely with just her and the bed against the wall.

Kylo had a desk moved in, along with a chair. The viewport, that Kylo had asked for specifically, was always viewing the galaxy. And the door to her bathroom was always open to remind her that she wasn't being trapped inside every night. Her therapist had recommended it. Kylo had demanded that she keep her front door locked for the time being. She didn't complain, since she was the one who locked it. Only herself and Kylo could come and go as they pleased.

What few shelves she had were only partially filled. She had no belongings of her own, only the clothes she'd been given. The ship, Finalizer, had a uniform jumpsuit and she was always wearing it, along with a pair of tall work boots. The only skin showing was her head, and it made her so depressed to have the large scar define her visibly.

Everything about her image was so wrong it hurt to look at. She was supposed to be beautiful. She was supposed to be a delicate image of lust. She was supposed to look clean and complacent.

Instead, her brown skin looked pale and dry. Her feet were clad in too-big worker's boots that made her stumble every several steps. Every ruffle and stray string in her outfit stuck out like a sore thumb, and Lilac almost decided to walk around naked.

But she didn't want to be naked anymore. She didn't want to wear so little clothing that men didn't have to wonder what her pricy bits looked like. But without those bits, was she beautiful? Was she valuable? The only money she'd ever made was from using her sex aappeal to her advantage. She had no skills. No personality. She was just a body. What was going to happen if people couldn't see it?

Self-consciously, Lilac undid the front of her jumpsuit until her slight cleavage was showing. It made her uncomfortable, but she felt more certain of who she was. If her boots didn't cover her calves she would have hiked up the hems of her pants too.

Two knocks at her front door. Lilac left her bathroom as Kylo walked into her room. "Lilac?" He looked at her expectantly.

"I'm okay. I promise." She breathed. He was always on edge around her, expecting that she was seconds from killing herself at any moment.

Lilac folded her arms gently over her chest, trying to fight the urge to touch her wrists. They would scar, too, although wrist scars were far easier to hide than one that marred her face.

"I thought I asked you to be ready." He took one long stride towards her and lifted his hands to her chest. In a moment, her jumpsuit was done up once more.

"I was ready." Lilac replied sheepishly, her arms dropping to her sides. Inside, she felt crushed. She wasn't beautiful. No one wanted to see her chest when her face was so messed up.

Kylo looked at her head, and she cringed. His eyes softened marginally and he motioned for her to follow him out into the hallway. As they walked, Kylo kept his eyes on her. He was wary of her. It made her feel like a grenade that could explode into flame at any moment and take everyone with her. But she wouldn't. She would only light herself aflame.

Lilac watched as others stared her down. Even next to their boss they thought she was scum. They looked down on her, as everyone did. As Kylo did.

"I'm not going to do it, you know." Lilac said softly as they rounded a corner. Her eyes were staring hard at the floor. Kylo took her arm to guide her when she needed it.

"Do what?" He asked, his eyes darting between her and the path ahead.

"Kill myself." She stuttered.

Kylo said nothing. His grip on her arm tightened as though he were afraid to lose her. Lilac sighed. She was used to being led around. She was used to her owners holding onto her so she wouldn't run away from them. What she wasn't used to was the war in her heart and in her mind trying to convince her that she was truly free. His constant watch didn't help their argument.

"I thought I was still with Gam. You understand that, don't you?" Her voice scratched in her throat. If she were still with Gam, life wouldn't be worthwhile. Kylo had to know that. Kylo had to know what slaves went through every day for their short lives.

Slaves were property. Bargaining chips. Fodder. Meal tokens. Tradable goods. Lilac herself had been traded once for two goats. She was told to feel complimented because goats weren't cheap, except that she'd seen so many goats around that she wasn't certain that was true.

"You should have waited to find out." Kylo sneered.

"If I waited I would have lost my chance."

Lilac fought the reflex to get to her knees and beg forgiveness. She didn't want to anger Kylo. He was being kind to her, even if it was all an act to use her later on. She needed to know her limits with him, and the only way she thought to find that out was to ask questions and state her mind. That always revealed the divide between herself and her company.

Kylo stopped and trapped her against the wall as a stormtrooper patrol walked past. "What am I supposed to do? You have a room. You have three meals a day. You have a private bathroom. I escort you personally wherever you want to go, and I treat you with respect! What more will it take for you to trust me, and trust that you are safe?"

"Respect?" Lilac asked, astounded. "Sure, it's more respect than I've ever been given. Sure, it's more respect than I will ever deserve. But to say it as though I owe you for it is such bullshit! Is respect different where you're from? You look at me, and you pity me. You want to save me, right?"

Kylo stared hard at her, his jaw set.

"Well, you can't! Whatever happens now is nothing compared to the life I could have had. I'm broken goods. I'm worthless, and I'm a pest. You want to respect me? Stop parading me around like a damned prisoner! And stop looking at me like I have a blade against my wrists, ready to slice through flesh at any moment!"

Kylo looked down his nose at her as he took a step back.

She continued, urged on by her own fear. Experience told her that she was about to find out the ultimate punishment for disobedient employees. "If you want to help me, to respect me, to trust me, then you should start by telling me why you're doing any of this. Who am I to you? What do you want me to be?"

Lilac choked back a sob. She was frustrated beyond coping, and the throbbing pain in her skull started back up again. Her vision blurred for a moment, and when she focused again Kylo was storming off.

He didn't answer her. He didn't say a goodbye. He didn't even point her in the direction she had to go to get back to her room. He left her in an unmarked hallway.

Lilac cursed and slid down the wall onto her butt. She was tired, sore, and in pain. If he wanted to leave her he had every right. Lilac wished he'd at least left her with an answer to any one of the millions of questions she had for him.

Still, she thanked whatever gods there were for her fate. Anyone else would have struck out at her. Anyone else would have locked her in a hot room until she begged for water with a burning throat and bleeding lips. Anyone but Kylo would have punished her for talking back.

Who was he? A hero? An angel? Or just a man that didn't know the difference between his sexual appetite and the need to protect a pitiful woman?

Lilac, huddled on the floor, didn't know where to start to figure him out. All she knew was that he was sincerely on her side, whatever that meant.


	13. Let The Monster Rise (Kylo)

"Stupid girl." Kylo slammed his fists down on the table in a meeting room. He'd meant to bring Lilac along so she could understand her place in the Finalizer, but she'd yelled at him during a tantrum.

What was worse was that it was an entirely justified tantrum.

Kylo looked around at the room as it smoked. He'd taken his lightsaber out to relieve his stress and anger, and the room showed it. He would have to move the meeting to another room.

"Which stupid girl?" Jona, golden hair slicked back and his usual black uniform on, put an arm around Kylo's shoulders. "Anyone I know?"

Kylo growled at the man, and Jona backed off.

"Oh, I see. It's that girl you've been ditching sparring practices for. I haven't gotten my ass kicked in weeks thanks to her." Jona grinned, his sharpened canines sparkling. "If you need some help with her-"

"You will not go anywhere near her." Kylo glared. "She is my guest and she is not to be interacted with unless necessary."

Jona examined his nails, casual as ever. "The slave?"

Kylo didn't think—he reacted—and Jona was lifted off of the ground by his neck. Kylo didn't have to touch the bastard to do it—he used the force to get his point across.

Jona struggled, choking on the invisible power. He wasn't force sensitive. He wasn't anything, as far as Kylo was concerned, other than a drunk and a chatterbox. The First Order didn't need someone as talkative as him in their ranks. Kylo imagined himself snapping Jona's neck and it spread a cruel smile over his lips.

"Enough."

Kylo regrettably dropped Jona to the floor, letting the man cough in fresh breaths. General Hux strode into the room, regarding the destruction.

"Whatever this was about, I suggest you two get over it."

"I want Jona under watch." Kylo hissed. "I have a guest that he is not permitted to be near."

"Done." General Hux gestured to the stormtroopers at the door, and they rushed in to take Jona from the room, still gasping for breath.

Kylo's tense muscles started to relax. That was one threat taken care of. Hux was always good on his word.

"Is this about Lilac?" Hux picked up a chair and sat at the splintered table.

Kylo eyed him. "How much do you know?"

Hux's gaze was leveled at him. "As much as the good doctors in our med bay know. I was going to keep Jona away even before I saw you trying to kill him. If he has made any threats against her I assure you he will be promptly punished for each and every one."

Kylo picked a chair up for himself, assuming the general had no interest in moving their meeting elsewhere. He'd already seen the damage; there was nothing to hide.

"If Jona had seriously threatened Lilac, then he wouldn't have left this room breathing."

"It's just as well. Jona will be transferred. I've had enough of him, myself." Hux removed his gloves slowly, stretching his legs out underneath him to get comfortable.

"Why do you care what happens to her?" Although Kylo didn't want to question the general, he couldn't help the part of himself that couldn't trust people so alike himself.

"Why do you care?" Hux shot back, grinning as though he knew something Kylo didn't. "To be honest, I will be delighted to see what a distraction does to your work. Having a companion could be good for you. And it will keep you busy."

"Why do I need to be kept busy?"

"My, aren't you suspicious!" Hux chuckled darkly. "I doubt you would be thrilled if the First Order kept you as busy as you'd like us to now that you have a guest under your care. Or would it be better if we did?"

Kylo barely considered it. Yes, he wanted to work. He wanted to go out and do things that mattered to his cause, but Lilac was in no place to be left alone. Even after their fight, even after he abandoned her to be lost in a hallway, he didn't want to entirely leave her alone on the ship.

Kylo ran a hand down his face—he hadn't worn the mask for Lilac's sake. He had left her alone, though. She could be anywhere, and Kylo was to blame if anything had happened to her.

"I have to go." Kylo stood.

"Our meeting is over already?" Hux stood as well, his shoulders squared.

"Yes. You know of Lilac, and you know what she is to me. Keep her safe. If I must go on a mission then I will put her responsibility in your hands. Is that understood?"

"And what does Lilac want?" Hux asked, much softer than before.

"Her freedom. That is all."

Hux didn't believe him in the slightest. He knew there was more to women than that, no matter what their circumstances. Regardless, he nodded in respect. "I will care for her as if I was the one who rescued her. She is as much my guest as she is yours while on this ship. If there is anything she needs, please let me know."

Kylo glared at Hux, trying to figure out what the man's motives were. After a moment, Kylo decided to find out later and he left to find Lilac. Wherever she was, he guessed she was afraid and deserving of a sincere apology—something he wouldn't offer to just anyone.

Stormtroopers kept their distance as Kylo stormed down the hallways towards where he'd left Lilac. He cursed to himself and hovered his hand over the hilt of his lightsaber. He was certain he looked like he was ready to murder anyone who got in his way.

He scared himself. Since when did he give a fuck what happened to any single person other than himself? Who was Lilac, and who was she to him? He felt responsible. Protective. He was the leading path towards her future. Her life was in his hands.

What was he going to do with it?

A thought struck him, and it almost frightened him more than the way he stormed down the halls to find her. Being murderous was one thing; being downright cruel was another.

He could poison her. Turn her into a new First Order recruit.

She was weak, by no fault of her own, both physically and emotionally. Her mental state was her optimism and hope. That was where her strength laid.

If he wanted to use her, he needed to train her.

He would be different from Gam, even if he employed her for his own benefits. He wouldn't be selling her body; he swore to himself that he would never do that. She would be his ally, his apprentice, and she would be as free with him as she wanted to be.

Kylo spotted her, still sitting on the ground where he'd left her, and he stopped in his tracks to observe.

She was patient; she'd learnt how to be still for long hours at a time. She was quiet and light; she had learnt to hide in plain sight and not to make any footprints.

She was fearless. As long as he kept her focused on her freedom he could send her anywhere. She would fight to her last breath because that was better than being captured. With the proper training she could be unstoppable.

She would have been a great force-sensitive apprentice. It was foolish to wish such things; she was not perfect. As long as she was useful, she would be everything he needed. He was lucky to have found her when he did.

Kylo approached her, slowly, his plan forming in his mind. She looked weak, fragile. She was broken, and not just because of the large scar running along her scalp. She had a hard past she would never forget. Her trauma wouldn't fade.

He had to use her trauma to bring out her warrior spirit. She was a victim. He would victimize her to make her stronger. Kylo looked at the newly freed slave and knew he was going to hurt her. He knew he was going to break her down long before he would be able to build her up.

She didn't deserve kind treatment, and not even she thought so. She'd given up her life multiple times before. If he wanted to claim her life for his own, what argument would she have?

Lilac was his to manipulate.

She looked up, her brown eyes gazing into his. She was still afraid.

She had every reason to be afraid.

Kylo Ren embraced the monster he would become to her.


	14. General Friendship (Lilac)

Lilac shivered, freezing water cascading over her skin from the shower head above. While she was at Club Coast, there was never any warm water in the slave's bathrooms. Warm water was used for cleaning floors, or for clients that asked for it. Slaves didn't need warm water, they could get washed just as well in cold.

She never thought she would miss cold showers. Since boarding the Finalizer she had had no reason to settle for cold water. She had warmed herself whenever she felt chills. Without knowing why she'd done it, she had let the shower run cold to remind her of the days when she was a slave to Gam.

She told herself it had to be to remind herself that she was safer than she was before. Really, it was just familiar.

Her new familiar, Kylo Ren, had been scheduling everything from her meals to her exercise routines. She had a tutor, but Kylo was the one who was always at her side. If she needed anything, it was him who got it for her.

Which was why when he left the Finalizer for a mission, she asked him to forget his duty and just stay with her. He'd taken her request the wrong way, and they'd ended up having another fight—one that she lost.

He didn't understand how dependent she was on him. Just his voice soothed her aching muscles after a long day. He left for his mission believing that she was so egotistical as to think his time was best served at her feet.

Kylo had been gone for an entire week. For most people, the time they'd spent together would be considered short. Lilac was too used to knowing very important people for very short times. She had watched his face, his voice, his mannerisms. She knew him as well as she knew anyone.

Lilac missed him. His presence was reassuring, even when he was angry at her. He was the symbol of her freedom. He was the one who saved her, the one who was making her strong.

The problem she had was that when the cold water splashed her head, she wanted to scream about how much she hated Kylo Ren. It might have been misplaced anger, but it didn't matter to her. Her head throbbed and stung where the scar pussed.

There was a knock at the door, off to her right. It opened half-way, revealing a tall man with orange hair. "Lilac? Can I do anything for you?"

The water pattering the tile and glass door couldn't drown out his domineering voice well enough. Lilac shut off the water.

While she was a slave, any man could have seen her naked if he paid enough. As a free-woman, she hadn't taken the time to question who got to see her naked and who she should be modest around. General Hux, as her second-named guardian, had probably already seen enough, for all she knew. She didn't ask.

Lilac opened the door of the shower-stall and reached her arm out, her body half-hidden behind the foggy glass. Hux passed a towel to her from a nearby rack.

General Hux then walked out of the bathroom, humming a strange song. After a moment he called over his shoulder, "You've barely eaten your breakfast."

Lilac started drying herself, slowly running the towel over her skin. She gingerly pat her sore scars dry. "I ate half of the oatmeal. I'm not in the mood for it today."

"For what, exactly? Food?" Something clanged, as if he dropped a spoon onto the metal tray.

Lilac stayed silent. It was true. She hadn't just decided on the cold shower for her memories sake. There was something wrong with her. She didn't want three full meals. She didn't want warm water or the jumpsuit she cringed as she put on that covered her entire body, ankle to neck.

What she wanted was to wear purple and have no one pay any attention to her. The way Hux looked at her as she stepped out of the bathroom, she knew she wasn't going to get what she wanted. It was for the best, she thought, because she was probably being crazy.

"Well?" The general demanded, gesturing towards her desk where a tray of food sat, nearly untouched.

"Not hungry." Lilac replied with a shrug. She sat on her bed while Hux let out a long sigh. "There's a first time for everything." Lilac tilted her lips into a sexy smile.

"Eat. It's for your health, not your appetite."

Lilac hummed in response, slipping on her over-sized workers boots and adjusting her socks and pant legs inside of them. Even though they were too big, she'd gotten used to how they fit as she tied them up every morning.

When Lilac looked up from her boots, there was a peeled orange in her face.

"Eat this." It wasn't a command, but Hux held a tone that told her not to refuse.

She nodded and held her hand out. He dropped the orange, and she started pulling it apart. "What are we doing today?"

Part of Kylo's schedule called for Lilac to be tutored by a volunteer—Hux. She was being taught to read, and how to write. She'd never needed it before, nor had anyone else she knew, but he insisted. It was two hours of her day that she spent with the general. Sometimes he would mix up the lessons, trading reading and writing for a tour around the ship. He was excellent at explaining things to her. Every word he spoke was like honey.

When her skull was aching she liked to ask him to explain something about the First Order. He would talk for long periods of time, soothing the waves of pain.

He was also very strict, but in the nicest way. He was far more encouraging than anyone who had ever tried to teach her. He wouldn't hit her, or threaten her. He was patient and expressive. His lightest praises, sincere and innocent, made her work several times harder.

"Today we are going to be finding a job that interests you. Do you want to be useful to the Finalizer? To Kylo Ren?" Hux looked as though the name was sour on his tongue.

It was the right thing to say. Lilac understood that she wouldn't be given anything for nothing. Her freedom was expensive to her, and Kylo would know that. He could take whatever he wanted.

Fuck, she was in a mess.

"Yes." Lilac answered. It was easier than sorting through her feelings. She would never say she missed being a slave. It was a ridiculous thought. She should have been celebrating her new life. "Can I ask you a question, now?" She stuck a piece of orange in her mouth.

"You may."

Finishing the citrus slice, Lilac looked Hux in the eye. "What are you getting out of this? You volunteered to tutor me, and we both know that help doesn't come cheap."

"No, it doesn't." Hux frowned. "The problem is that while I was prepared to use you for my benefit, I was not prepared for what I would find in you."

Lilac carefully placed the orange aside. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean that spending time with you has made me like you." He said carefully. "Whatever Kylo Ren has planned for you, I want you to be cautious."

She was surprised to hear such gentle words from him. He'd been kind to her since they first met, but he was often too business-like to say anything without context. He'd come out and said he liked her on his own, with no direct cause.

"You... like me?" She'd heard the words before—usually with the a client's mouth against her neck. It was a comment on her body, or her 'feisty' attitude. The way the general said it, she didn't know what to think.

"Yes." He responded simply.

"In what way?" She pushed. The orange was forgotten.

Hux huffed. His answer came tumbling out of his mouth, "not in the way you're used to, I suspect. You may take it as a compliment if you wish. It's a fact that I deigned to share with you. That is all."

A smile slowly lit Lilac's face. "Is that so? I like you, too. I mean, for what it's worth."

It was true. In the short time she'd known him, about three weeks, she'd become fond of him. Where Kylo was all rugged and looked like pure sex—in the best way- Hux was charming and looked handsome and mature.

Another difference was that while Kylo was simply blunt, Hux was honest with her. He used careful words and phrases, but she knew he hadn't told her a single lie. She watched him; she knew.

What did any of that mean to her? Yes, she had a couple of very attractive men pandering to her. In the clubs she'd worked at, having two sexy bodies at their feet was a sign of power that few clients paid for. Sometimes they would pay for a room along with the company. Other times they would just sit there and look important.

"Thank you." General Hux looked at the orange, annoyed. "Finish your orange. We have work to do."

What Lilac wanted from him, she decided, was a friend. She'd had a lot of sex in her life because other people paid for it. She'd also spent time next to people who paid her for other things. Either way, she was a prostituted slave, and an object. Hux didn't see her like that.

What she would want from him, if she could be greedy, would be to stand at his side and learn from him. If she had anything to teach him, she would. She just wanted to be next to the general. She felt it deep in her heart as she studied his face and posture.

She wanted to be his friend, or to get however close to friendship as he let people. He didn't seem like the type to make close friends. Then again, she assumed she was the same. Making friends wasn't a part of her life. Taking orders was the only part of life she knew without a doubt.

As General Hux prepared her desk with several books and binders, Lilac took up the orange again. To please him, she ate the fruit obediently. Her thoughts swam, trying to remember anything she may know about friendship. Was she supposed to ask him to be her friend? Would she just assume they were friends at some point?

Would he be angry if he knew her thoughts?

Would Kylo?


	15. Friend or Foe: Hux Edition (Lilac)

"You are not an object. You are not alone." Lilac stood in front of her floor-length mirror. Her therapist, a Twi'lek named Dr Mint for the colour of the scarf she always wore. Regardless of her colour fetish, Dr Mint was an exceptional therapist. Or so Lilac was told.

"You are not weak. You are not fragile." Dr Mint had had the brilliant idea to introduce Lilac to mantras. As Lilac tried to find hers, she found that many of the 'feel good' phrases were flowery bullshit. Yes, she was more than just the slave she had been made into. Did she need to tell herself that every day?

Until she met with Dr Mint again, she had to continue trying.

"You are.. .You are... I am crazy for taking this seriously. This isn't what I need." Lilac sighed, leaning her forehead against the cool mirror. She missed her hair, and mantras were not going to bring a single strand back.

She looked deeply into her own brown eyes, tracing the amber spots again and again. No one ever noticed the amber spots. It was her secret; the only physical attribute she had that wasn't laid bare for a price. If any of her owners had known about the spots, especially Gam, they probably would have hired someone to make her eyes perfect.

Lilac lifted the nightshirt the general had given her. There was scarring there, resting below her belly button. Scratch marks. Imperfection.

No one knew about it. She'd told Dr Mint that she was afraid she might hurt herself without meaning to. She mentioned nightmares. She mentioned a desire to claw at her perfectly touched up skin. Dr Mint warned Lilac to tell someone immediately, no matter who it was, so that she could get proper help.

It terrified Lilac to think that she would get help. She knew that there were ways to erase scars that ranged from blissful to agonizingly painful. Gam went for the latter, making her skin feel blistered for days after the treatment. Even if the First Order wasn't that cruel, she didn't want to erase the scars.

Every morning, she wondered if she would find blood under her pajamas. She didn't remember her nightmares, if that's what caused it. She didn't know what her subconscious mind, or whatever psycho-gibberish Dr Mint had talked about, wanted to destroy so badly.

Lilac tore away from the mirror, dedicating herself to getting ready for her day. General Hux wanted her to lift weights. She was making progress, gaining muscle at a good rate, but he pushed her every day, even turning her rest days into tutoring opportunities.

The moment her jumpsuit was done up, there was a knock at her door. She readied herself to open it, but Hux let himself in. She'd given him the okay to do so, and he was not above taking advantage of her offer.

"Good morning." Hux scanned her outfit, his hands behind his back. "I think you'll want to wear something else today."

Lilac looked down at herself. She was wearing the same thing she wore everyday: a jumpsuit and work boots. "What's wrong with this?"

"You look lovely." He replied with a quick smile. He pulled his hands out from behind his back and shoved a colourful bag into her hands. "If you wouldn't mind, I would like to offer you this gift. You do not have to wear it, but it is yours."

"Thank you." Lilac said. The thrill of being given a gift faded as soon as it had appeared. He was dressing her up. So many others had done the same before. "I'll try it on."

Lilac took the bag to the bathroom and shut herself inside. Dr. Mint had told her that part of reclaiming her body was to keep it to herself. The doctor had said she needed to appreciate her body on her own and not force herself to let things go on as normal.

"You are not an object. You do not need to let them appraise you. Your worth is not your skin." She chanted quietly, her eyes closed.

It was too late to take back some of her actions. Hux had seen her naked, and he could draw up that image as often as he wanted. Dr Mint thought no man would remember a body after seeing it once. Dr Mint, Lilac remarked, was not an entertainer in the same business Lilac had been raised in.

Dr. Mint, in turn, had sighed heavily. The doctor reminded Lilac that they were supposed to be teaching her how to act and think in a typical environment rather than a brothel.

In the bathroom, once Lilac calmed down, her heart beating steady, and her grip loosened on the handle of the bag, she undressed herself. The fabric of the gift was soft and thick which seemed to immediately comfort Lilac in a way she'd never experienced before.

Hux had bought her a dress. The skirt reached down to her calves, and the neckline was high. The sleeves were short and poofy. She didn't notice the colour at first. She couldn't tell if she was happy or annoyed that the dress was purple. She hadn't noticed it because everything she'd been given to wear before seemed to be purple; lilac was her trademark, after all.

Deeper in the bag, she found a pair of flat shoes. When she put them on the tan fabric covered her foot to the ankle. They were like short boots, with little buckles on them. Lilac looked at herself in the mirror.

"You look ridiculous." She rolled her eyes. Her hair used to be longer than her skirts. Actually, she used to have long hair and practically non-existent skirts. She was discovering that being the complete opposite of the way she used to be wasn't as thrilling as she'd expected.

When Lilac walked back into the bedroom, Hux grinned. "How do you like it?"

"It's beautiful." Lilac did a slow spin for him, trying her hardest not to stumble. Her leg muscles were enough to carry her, but they weren't happy about impromptu spinning.

"The woman makes the dress." Hux replied, his eyes shining. "Will you wear it today?"

"Yes. Of course." Lilac smiled. She didn't really want to wear the dress, as it reminded her of being dressed up for auctions, but she would wear it for him.

"Fantastic."

"Would you mind if I wore something over this..?"

Lilac pointed to her head, indicating the scar. It grossed her out, and she could only imagine how others felt about it.

"If it would make you comfortable." Hux's jaw twitched.

Lilac admonished herself for making him angry. She smiled in an attempt to make him feel better. "It would. I wouldn't want to embarrass myself. This dress is too good for this ugly scar." She tried to laugh it off, but Hux's expression was serious.

Hux stepped towards her, closing the distance between them to less than a foot. He reached up to cup her right cheek, his fingertips just under her eye, very close to the end of her scar. "You are not going to embarrass yourself. Your scar is a part of you. It is a part of your grand legend."

"Grand legend? Then why does everyone on this ship stare at me like I'm some newly discovered species that has a weird head part?" Lilac frowned.

"They stare because they like to talk about you. Beyond that, you're beautiful. Even with the scar," Hux added softly when he saw her take a breath to speak.

"What do they say?"

Hux blinked. Twice. "Apparently the entire ship is wondering why Kylo Ren invited you aboard. They ask if you are powerful, force sensitive perhaps. And they wonder what amazing battle you were in to get your impressive scar."

"No one knows?"

"No one knows." Hux confirmed.

"Does anyone know anything?" It was a vague question, and Lilac hoped the answer was no. It was enough that they talked about her; she knew how folks talked about slaves.

"It is very unlikely."

Lilac gripped the fabric of her dress, nervous to find out who really talked about her. "Did Kylo ever talk to you about me?"

"Of course." Hux answered easily, as though he were waiting for her to ask.

"Does he think I'm powerful? Or impressive? Or anything?"

Hux removed his hand, taking the warmth away from her cheek. "He's not sure about you."

Lilac felt a weight crush into her chest. No one had ever been anything but certain about her. She was always considered a good purchase. Kylo hadn't even spent money on her, so how could she be a bad investment?

The general let out a long, tired breath. "Don't take it personally. Unless Commander Snoke tells him to do something, he's just a lost child trying to find his next toy."

"I'll try not to be insulted." Lilac snapped. She flinched, taking a step back. She was ready to be hit.

Hux stared at her, eyes wide and wild. "Lilac-"

She dropped to her knees, her forehead to the floor. "I'm sorry!" She cried. Her life flashed in front of her. So much abuse. Gam would have her locked away to dry out. Others would have her chained out front for anyone to have their way with her—usually in a violent manner. Her first owners would have her burned again and again with their brand, only to heal her and do it again.

What did Hux do? For that matter, what did Kylo do when someone crossed him? They had both been lenient so far, but every man had his limits. They were killers, and probably had their own special way to torture. Would she find out?

"I didn't mean to." Lilac kept her head to the floor, her head spinning as the blood rushing to her head pulled at her scar. She didn't mean to snap at him, not really. She was torpedoing into her own freedom and making mistakes left and right.

"Stand up." Hux told her. She refused. He repeated his words, stronger. "Stand up, Lilac. Now."

Slowly, her eyes shut as tightly as possible, Lilac stood up. Her breaths were short and harsh. She didn't want to see his fist coming, or the hatred in his eyes. Her heart beat in her chest like a broken record; it scratched against her ribs and thrummed an uneven beat across her nerves.

"I am not going to hurt you."

Lilac didn't believe him. The last time someone told her that, she was nearly drowned right after. Her eyes remained shut.

"You have no reason to trust me, just as I have no reason to lie to you. If I wanted to hurt you I would. You can believe that. Nothing would ever stop me from hurting someone I wanted to hurt."

Truer words had never been spoken, thought Lilac. She winced. Her eyes fluttered open to see his face. His expression was soft. He wasn't angry—and he wasn't lying.

"There. See? You're safe." Hux held his palms up. "Would you like to cancel our plans for today? You may need it."

Her skull throbbed. "Yes," her voice squeaked. "Please, General."

"You don't need to beg. We're friends. Or, I hope we could be."

Lilac laughed, short and sarcastic. "I was thinking the same thing. But..."

"But?" Hux took her hands in his.

"Look at me. I'm ruined. Wrecked. Crushed. Friends? I've never had any that survived. I'm old, for a slave. I was probably going to be retired soon enough. I'm sure you know what that means."

"I do." Hux raised an eyebrow. He was silent for several moments."May I do something you haven't had done to you in a long, long time?"

Lilac shuddered. A lot of men had said that to her, and they only repeated the same old moves. She wanted to trust Hux, regardless of how her insides screamed at her not to. Her skin crawled with memories. "O-okay."

Hux smiled warmly. "It's something friends do. Or so I hear."

Lilac braced herself for the worst. His arms looped around her body, embracing her with his warmth. She breathed him in, and waited as he held her. Nothing happened. After the first few seconds, shock settled in. He was holding her, but he wasn't being sexual or particularly intimate.

Lilac laughed and put her own arms around the general. "A hug? You're right. I've never been hugged before."

"Now you have."

Lilac smiled into his chest. He was so tall and so warm, and she never wanted the hug to end. It was a new sensation. She liked it. She liked him.

Lilac finally had a friend that she didn't know for certain she would lose the next day. Hux was strong and powerful. If he chose to, he could be around for a very long time. They could be friends for a long time.

Maybe, Lilac thought, she would never be alone again. Maybe someone would fight to keep her, instead of selling her the first chance they got.

The hug lasted a long time, Hux waiting patiently for Lilac to get enough of his comfort. She didn't want it to end. The new sensation was incredible. She had to wonder if Kylo would feel the same way.

When he finally returned from his mission, Lilac promised herself she would find out.

 _ **/AN/**_

 _ **Please, please, please leave a review! I know I haven't updated in a while and while I'm sure there are still people waiting for updates it would be nice to know who or why :D**_

 _ **Thank you for following me, and for following Lilac's (mis)adventures!  
There is a bit of story I'm leaving out for pacing reasons but I'm writing new content now so updates will (hopefully) be more consistent!**_

 _ **(PS I was recommended to change the content rating. Thoughts?)**_


	16. Gifts (Kylo)

_**/AN/**_

 _ **Sorry for the long wait**_

When Kylo was finally given the go ahead to return to the Finalizer, he was ready to burst. The sigh of relief at being relieved was barely enough to forgive his temper and impatience.

He'd done what he'd been told to do, as always. As far as Lilac, his charge, he hadn't heard a damn thing. Hux hadn't given any reports concerning the girl's training, so Kylo was readying himself for a surprise. Truthfully, he just hoped he wasn't going to be disappointed. Hux wasn't exactly the first person Kylo would want training the ex-slave. The general was just the only person allowed and willing to.

Kylo had searched extensively for the home planet of Lilac, because it was interesting more than anything else. He hadn't known for sure that it would yield any results, but he'd been bored with his missions. What he'd found out was that she was better off not knowing anything. He knew she had a hard enough time coping with her past without knowing exactly how she'd first entered into slavery.

When he'd heard someone talking about half a planet set on fire by its own sun, nearly twenty years earlier, he changed his mind. His mission could be about Lilac. He could learn her roots. Her lineage could give him insight to her strong will. If nothing else, he could stop her from wondering who her parents were and if they missed her.

Lilac had asked if Kylo would miss her while he was away, and if he would rather stay with her on the Finalizer. It was ridiculous how clingy she'd gotten. He had given her freedom, and yet she was depending on him for everything. Giving her a dose of reality, that once a person leaves everyone forgets them, would make excellent progress in her training. He'd learnt on his own to let go of his past and push forwards as a new man.

His own parents, wherever they were and whatever they were doing, were not his 'mom and dad'. If anything, they were his enemies. They rebelled against him and everything he believed in.

If Lilac had the same motivation...

It was enough for Kylo to consider lying to her no matter what truths he discovered. He could tell her that they'd left her in the burning forest. He could tell her that they'd intended for her to die there.

The thought left a disgusting, ashen taste in his mouth. He was dark side, yes, and he was a monster. Lilac should never have trusted him.

He pictured her face. The first time he saw her, held back by a bouncer, was the only time he'd seen her unscathed, unbroken. She was beautiful. And then he saw her blood, and she was strong. When he saw her fears he knew he was addicted to them; he was addicted to her.

Something about the way she'd witnessed everything in her life excited him. The way she'd experienced all of her pain and misery, and brilliant flashes of hope, gave him chills to think about.

Phasma's men left the ship first, once they'd boarded the Finalizer. Phasma asked Kylo to wait, so that they had their reports ready for the general. There were some inconsistencies that, thankfully, Phasma took the time to iron out. If it hadn't been her idea, Kylo would have had to follow her lead and get them both into trouble. Phasma, while talking to Kylo, had slowly began to feel sympathy towards Lilac. For the girl's sake, Captain Phasma altered the authenticity of her reports.

Kylo nodded his thanks, and his approval, before leaving the ship. With his helmet on and his head down, no one stopped him or said anything. Some saluted. He muttered to himself and kept moving.

He sensed Lilac moments before he collided with her. He'd been thinking of finding her on his own, and there she was in the hangar as though she'd been waiting for him.

"Kylo!" She exclaimed with a grin. "Welcome back!"

The knight was taken aback. He stared at her, and how different she was. It had been two months, and she was already so different. When he left, she was just starting on her way to becoming healthy and strong. Hux had been watching over her, caring for her every day, and the results were showing.

She was wearing what looked like the plain grey Finalizer jump-suit, but the legs and sleeves were much shorter. It was undone at the top, showing her chest off to the top of her breasts. Kylo was annoyed that it might one day be reminiscent of her slave uniform, but he let her get away with it.

The progress she'd made was obvious in the weight and muscle she'd gained. Her scalp was hidden under a decorated length of what he assumed was taken from her jumpsuit, but he knew her hair had grown too. Without thinking, Kylo reached out and squeezed her arm, checking the muscle.

"How do you feel?"

Lilac flexed her muscles for him, what little she had. "I feel great. Thanks to you. And Hux, of course." She added with a slight nod towards the general at her side.

"Of course." Kylo echoed. He looked her up and down, comparing her body to the one he'd first been so attracted to. The weight training had done her some good. She had a long ways to go, but she was healthier and more capable than when he'd met her.

Soon, Kylo thought, she could be a whirlwind of power. She would be one hell of a fighter in no time, and she would be at his side.

Lilac hesitated, her smile slipping. "What do you think?"

Kylo simply nodded in approval. Words couldn't express how proud, and excited he was. Lilac was a project for him. So far, his experiment was successful. He would take over nurturing her and training her, and soon enough she would be a true warrior.

Just looking at the way she stood, her posture both straight and strong, not unlike General Hux beside her, told him all he needed to know. She was becoming confident, along with powerful. More than her muscles had grown, her spirit was expanding, as was her personality.

Kylo reached deep into a pocket and pulled out a rectangular box, about the size of his hand. "I knew you would be keeping to your promise."

Lilac's eyes widened and glowed. "This is for me?" She looked to Hux, who nodded. When Lilac took the general's cue to accept the gift, Kylo frowned inside of his helmet.

What had Hux done to make her respond more to him than to the man that actually rescued her? Kylo watched her open the box, handing the empty case to Hux when she pulled out the purple scarf Kylo had scavenged for her from a burning market. He'd burned the market himself because it was made solely of rebels and sympathizers, but he and the rest of his team had taken what they'd liked from the rubble and ashes.

"Wow." Lilac stared adoringly at the scarf, her fingers gingerly following the golden leaf pattern. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

"You earned it. You've done well, Lilac." Kylo reached out, awkwardly patting her shoulder. He turned to Hux. "I will need a full report."

"I have already made one. It's in my office, if you would like to follow me there now." Hux frowned at Kylo. "And I also expect a full report from both yourself and Captain Phasma."

"Of course."

"Kylo?" Lilac had the scarf wrapped around her neck, her smile uncertain. "I thought that, you know, you might be mad at me? After that fight..."

Kylo sighed then took off his helmet. His hair had been tied up inside, but wisps fell in front of his face. He knew he must look tired, but he smiled at her as though nothing was wrong with the universe. "That was two full months ago, Lilac. I have not held a grudge for that long only to come back and give you a gift. In fact, consider it an apology."

"I should apologize too-"

Kylo held up a hand, stopping her. "No need. Keep working as hard as you have been, and all is forgiven."

Lilac brightened again. "I've been working really hard!"

"She has." Hux commented slyly. "Lilac, why don't you tell Kylo Ren about what inspires you?"

Lilac blushed. "Well, whenever I think maybe I can't, I remember that you think I can." She said, addressing Kylo. "You believe in me. And I've started to really believe in myself."

"Is that so?" Kylo kept himself under control. Her words were flattering and sugary sweet. He looked at her with pride and felt his own ego growing. At least it wasn't other things, he told himself.

Then, Lilac reached out and touched his arm. Kylo deflated.

"What are you doing?" He asked, suddenly defensive.

"I'm just really happy to see you."

"You don't need to flatter me, Lilac." Kylo started to frown. He looked at Hux. "Was this your idea?"

Hux shrugged. "She was certain you would still be mad at her."

Lilac's mouth dropped open as she stared at Hux. "You said it was okay!"

Hux put his arm around her shoulders, his smiling mouth opening to say something to her.

Kylo saw the way Hux's eyes shone, and the way Lilac was so comfortable with him touching her, and he lost control. He'd held in his rage from the trip, and his impatience. He held himself back for so long, thinking that it would just be back to business as usual on the Finalizer.

Seeing the two of them together, close and comfortable, and Lilac lying to him, just pissed him off.

Kylo shoved the two apart and stood toe-to-toe with Hux. The stare down began, and Kylo forgot that the man he wanted to punch in the face was his superior. "I am relieving you of your duties. Lilac will be under my tutelage from now on." Kylo sneered, his hands balled into fists at his side.

"You must be joking." Hux's eyes turned dark and threatening. "I have been watching over Lilac all this time while you were off on your missions. I have set her on a track to success. Along with everything that I have done for her, and for you, I am still your superior. Do not mistake my kindness with subordination."

Kylo's view was narrowed in on Hux, nothing else mattered. He was aware of Lilac, of her stopped breath, but he couldn't see her or anyone else.

Hux was right, of course. Kylo didn't care. Lilac was too important. Lilac needed a proper mentor. Kylo needed a project, and a worthy apprentice. He could imagine how famed he would be to turn a weak slave into a powerful warrior.

"She is my responsibility. You said so yourself, general." Kylo said general as if it were poison on his tongue. "I have fulfilled my duties with the Order, and will be attending Lilac's education personally until further notice."

Hux slowly smiled, his lips quirked as though he knew the world while Kylo couldn't be bothered to study a pebble. "Watch yourself, Ren. Commander Snoke still commands you. Your personal interests have been a problem to him in the past, if you recall."

Kylo hesitated, his jaw tense. "I will speak with Commander Snoke. In the meantime, you can rest assured that Captain Phasma's report reflects my own. Excuse us."

Tearing his eyes away from the general, Kylo took Lilac's arm. He could feel that she was tense, and her aura was stressful. Silently, she allowed him to lead her out of the hangar and down twisting hallways. Neither said a word, and Kylo never let go of her. He needed to know that she was there, and that no one would take her from him again.

Once they were inside Lilac's room, Kylo pushed her onto her bed and began pacing in front of her. His thoughts chased him, forcing him to confront his own emotions. He wanted to put the First Order above all else, but he was strongly dedicated to his charge. The thought of being away from her for another two months was maddening. She was making so much progress that he missed out on, and that he was getting zero credit for. Hux had given her gifts (he could tell from all the new belongings in her room) and been her emotional support. Hux had given her everything.

But Kylo had been the one to deliver her from her life as a slave to her new home on the Finalizer. He was the one who made that decision. He could have let her die.

A small voice in the back of his mind told him that he should have let her die. That voice thankfully shut up when he cursed out loud. Kylo was used to cursing out that voice. It was frustratingly opinionated.

"Kylo?" Lilac called to him gently. She sat, perched on the bed, waiting for him to pay attention to her.

He continued pacing.

He had plans for her. He never stopped thinking about those plans, even while on a mission in the fucking middle of nowhere for the Order. What was she doing, meanwhile? She was playing with the general. The general was turning her into one of him—a soldier that only knew how to follow orders and kiss the giant ass of Snoke.

Kylo wanted her to be a warrior. She had a lot of anger inside of her, a lot of power. If she didn't use it for a cause she believed in, her entire life would be wasted. She needed to be out in the galaxy fighting. Hux would sooner see her sitting at meetings, demurely sipping tea while negotiating supply of mercenaries.

Hux had a bullshit approach to everything, in Kylo's opinion.

Kylo stopped in his tracks to look around the room. It was small, yes, with a bed at the far wall and a desk at the end of it. A few shelves lined the walls on either side of the bathroom door. Most of the shelves were empty when he left, and the bed had been made with basic, grey sheets. Looking around, it was all different.

The desk had actual office supplies on it, including a notebook and several books. Apparently, the tutoring sessions had been useful. The bed had floral sheets, and a thick comforter with matching cover. The shelves had more than a pair of boots and jumpsuit on it. There were clothes of several types, from comfortable underwear to a lacy sundress.

The sundress, Kylo could tell, had been worn recently. Once again, Kylo fumed.

"He's been dressing you, I see."

Lilac stood, and Kylo faced her. She pulled at the short sleeves of her jumpsuit. "I know." She said softly. "I don't like it either."


	17. A More Profound Bond (Lilac)

"It made me really uncomfortable at first." Lilac explained, adjusting the clothes she'd been given to wear. "The first dress Hux gave me made me so mad and- and made me feel like I hadn't really escaped slavery. Like... Maybe I had just traded one type of master for another."

Lilac shook her head, the ghost of her long purple locks brushing her cheeks. She was crushed when she found out that her hair really was permanently purple, but she would rather have her trademark hair than none at all.

General Hux had been a good friend to her. He'd been giving and educational. She cared about him, and he seemed to care about her. Sometimes, though, he was insensitive to extremes. It didn't help that she couldn't describe to him how it made her feel. Dr Mint, the psychiatrist, tried to help her express herself, but so far hadn't solved the problem.

Lilac continued, turning her lips up in an excited smile, "I taught myself how to sew. Dr. Mint helped a little, but she's useless with her hands."

Kylo touched the new stitches on her jumpsuit. Half of the clothes Hux bought her were altered by her own hands, with varying levels of success. Whether the general ever noticed or cared, he never said anything about it.

Kylo started to grin. "Do you remake a lot of the clothes he gives you?"

Lilac tilted her head. "Some of them don't fit me as well as they did a month ago. I'm gaining weight like crazy."

Serving trendy women all over the galaxy had taught her that most people hate gaining weight. Wrestlers loved it, debutantes, and hosts, would scream at the scale for their natural, fluctuating weight gains. Lilac glowed with pride, the before and after images of the numbers on her bathroom scale flickering behind her eyes.

She was more than a twig, that was for sure. She was healthier than she had been all her life. She was stronger. She was beginning to weigh a more natural, healthy amount. It was a miracle she was ecstatic about.

"I've noticed." Kylo glanced towards the shelves lined with folded clothes. "Do you need any help transforming your wardrobe?"

"What kind of help?" Lilac asked carefully. Even though she didn't like most of the clothes, for one reason or another, didn't mean she wanted to light them all on fire. Seeing that she had belongings was therapeutic. She wasn't a belonging, she kept them.

There was a glint of mischief in his eyes. "I would just like to destroy something he's given you. I will give you the means to replace it all."

"The means?" Lilac held her breath.

"I will take you shopping. You can pick out what you want."

Lilac nearly jumped. She wrapped her arms around Kylo, grinning. She held him for a moment before pulling back and looking at him with a matching, scheming grin. "Then you can destroy anything in this room. I don't need him to dress me and maintain my quarters."

"No, you don't. All you need is me." Kylo made a face, as though he imagined it was the wrong thing for him to say. If he were anyone else, it would have been warranted. Lilac knew she needed Kylo, and she didn't mind as much as she thought she would.

"I do need you, Kylo. And I'm glad to." She assured him, her eyes kind and posture open to him.

Kylo looked surprised. As she touched his face, his beautiful face, his eyes widened. She'd always wanted to touch someone as gently as she did then, and she'd always wanted it to be of her own will.

The first time she intimately touched Kylo, she'd been ready to let him feel every inch of her, as she was forced to do as a slave. As she kissed him, as a free woman on board the Finalizer, she forced those thoughts out of her mind. Things had been so different then. The way she kissed him, when she finally really wanted to, it was pure trust and gratitude.

Lilac loved him, in the only way she knew how: by trusting him. She'd never felt so strongly about someone as she did him. She would give him everything without being prompted or pushed.

Kylo pulled away. His face was flushed. "You don't need to do that."

"I wanted to." Lilac smiled. She could still feel him on her lips. It wasn't disgust, like her other kisses had been. It was as though she finally had her first, real kiss with someone she liked. It was a wonderful feeling. "Did you hate it?"

"No." Kylo replied quickly. "To be honest, I've wanted to kiss you since I first saw you."

Lilac frowned at him. It wasn't fair to accuse him of anything, but she had to say it. "You mean since you paid to take a slave girl into a private room and she knelt between your thighs?"

"Yes- No!" Kylo shook his head and grabbed her shoulders, his grip tight. "Yes, it was back then, and yes, your obvious sexual availability was tempting. I wanted you, then and there. That was the point, wasn't it? You were a slave and I had paid for you. I didn't touch you, did I? I brought you here-"

"To train me." Lilac stepped back, and he let her go. "Just like they trained me."

Lilac snarled. She felt stupid. Her first masters had done the same thing. Lilac thought she was safe with them, with each of them. They told her she was safe and that they would put her on the path to a good life.

They taught her things. At first it was simple things such as the common tongue, and then seduction and how to dress. After she started to realize that she was just another one of their girls, she would be thrown into the real training. She would be made into a whore, a maid, a spy.

"Like who trained you?" Kylo asked, his brow furrowed.

"My masters before you." Lilac took another step back, angry and confused.

She was far more aware than she had been before. Kylo had taken all the right steps. He made her need him. He made her care about him. He made certain she had nowhere else to go, and nothing else worth living for but his praise.

The Finalizer had started to feel like home, but in that moment it was just another prison.

"I am not a master to you like anyone was before." Kylo stressed his words, running a hand through his hair. "You are my apprentice-"

"Apprentice to a man who is never here?"

Kylo visibly flinched. "I tried to be here."  
"Business always comes first, yes?" Lilac took the scarf he'd given her and threw it on the floor. "Then why bother with gifts or kindness? You know I'm familiar with slave life. You know I will comply. You might as well throw me in a cage and put me on a leash."

Kylo frowned and stepped towards her, closing the distance easily. Lilac tried to step back again, but her back hit the wall and she was trapped. "Lilac..." He touched her cheek gently. His face twisted with anger. "You spit in my face and put me in the same category as those monsters who sold you and rented your body against your will? You think I want you caged and barred? You expect that I would be cruel and dominate your every move?"

"Yes." Lilac's voice faltered. She expected that much from everyone. She wanted to love him, and she thought she trusted him. Her heart ached. He made her feel that way. It was a new kind of torture to love a master.

"Then would you rather be taught by the general and all his kindness and grace? Do you think he's any better than I am? If either of us would use you, it's him."

Kylo was so close to Lilac that she could feel his breath on her skin. It was warm, smelt of rich peppermint, and made her knees weak. Lilac said nothing in reply as she felt herself doubting her own words. She thought she had so much experience when it came to who to trust. When she thought about the people she had trusted, she realized that she was thinking like a child when she did.

She was a child, Dr Mint the psychiatrist would say. The good doctor liked to repeat that Lilac never had a memorable, influential childhood. She still acted and thought like a child at crucial times because she didn't have the experience to make better choices.

"Kylo." Lilac said softly. She was giving in to him again, to his warmth.

"Would he be better?" Kylo repeated, his voice low.

"No one would be better."

They gazed into each other's eyes, silent and unmoving. Their breaths mingled, but Kylo withdrew his hands so none of their skin touched. Every silent moment that passed, Lilac forced herself to think clearly. It was deliriously difficult, with him so near. He was so far, too, that she didn't know how to reach him.

Was he just another manipulator? Would he use her, hurt her, sell her? Was her trust in him founded, or was it created by him?

What did he want from her? What could she give him, if not her body and servitude?

"Why am I here? Why me?" Lilac asked slowly, not daring to use more than a whisper. She licked her dry lips. "Why us?"

"Us?"

"As a team? As a...Anything." Lilac knew she wasn't making sense, but she hoped he would somehow understand what she needed him to tell her.

"You are..." Kylo hesitated. He took a step back. Smiled, quirky and charming. "You are my everything, next to the Order. Whatever you need, I will give you. If you ever refuse me, I will back off. If you would rather sit in your room and sulk all day than train, you may. Now that I'm here, Lilac, any training you do will be with me. If you want to train. If you want anything at all."

"I want you." Lilac admitted, her hands clenching into fists. "I've been one thing my entire life, Kylo. I don't know how to trust, or how to love. I don't know how to want things that I can have. What do I ask for?"

Kylo took her hands in his, gently caressing them to open her palms. He kissed each one. "Anything. Start small, or start big. Start with me."

Lilac's breath caught.

How did she ask, though?

Lilac reached up and kissed the corner of his lips. She led him, slowly, unsure, towards the bed. He followed, his expression curious and excited. Lilac pushed him onto the bed, and he complied, making room for her to lie next to him. She did.

And she stayed there, her head against his chest, taking in the warmth from his body and the smell of fuel and oils that lingered from his travel. Kylo held her, saying nothing.

It wasn't sex. It wasn't anything, to anyone else. To Lilac, it was a gift unlike any other. It was intimate, and she was willing. She felt bonded with him, and his steady heartbeat. Her cheeks were hot with bliss.

It was a beautiful thing to her, to be so close to someone and not have to wonder who she was to them. Whatever she was to Kylo, or to the Order, it didn't matter then. She was his. But she was free.


	18. Not A Hero (Kylo)

Kylo kept his hand on the small of Lilac's back, on her elbow, grazing her fingers. He'd taken her away from the Finalizer, for them to be alone in a crowded street. She wore a blouse, and he wore a button-down. She'd told him not to wear so much black. It's too conspicuous, she'd said. He wore grey, instead.

The market was thankfully less busy than Kylo had expected, though the crowd did their very best to crush them in its folds. That was why Kylo had to stay so close to his charge. If anyone pushed her, they would get a shove right back. She told him to take deep breaths to calm down, so he did. It didn't help.

Knowing that Lilac was next to him, her eyes wide and observant, was the only thing that took his mind off of every last villainous obstacle in their way. She was open to having him buy her pieces for her wardrobe. She was also open to telling him which pieces he should get for himself. For more outings, she said.

Lilac said a lot. For his sake. She was charming and sociable. She smiled at him, and made certain strangers kept away. She was good at that. For every glance that drew Kylo nearer, she had a glare to frighten others away.

He adored that about her. She learnt quickly, from him and from the ones she used to serve. She was clever, resourceful. She was coming into her own. Every day, and every passing second in the market throng, she was more and more confident.

Lilac didn't receive as many interested glances as Kylo thought she would. She was pretty, in a market full of average, and yet people were far more interested in Kylo.

He wasn't wearing his mask, or his usual Knights of Ren garb. He was dressed how Lilac told him to so they would blend in. It didn't seem to be working.

Lilac held up a long, golden sequin dress to her body. "This?" She asked. Kylo said nothing, knowing she would answer it for herself. "Too sparkly, right? Too much gold? I like the sequins."

Her smile was beautiful. If Kylo had a heart it would melt.

The shopping trip was not singularly focused on dresses or casual clothing. Kylo needed her to find better work out clothes, and something to wear under armor. She needed battle experience to further her training. There was only one way for her to get the true experience of a real war.

Lilac had lived a sheltered life, in a certain fashion, compared to real war-torn orphans. Just because she was nearly killed after a fire strike test on her home planet, did not mean she knew anything about warfare or weapons. She needed to.

Lilac had moved on from the golden dress and picked up a small black swath of fabric that could have been a dress or a long shirt. A tunic? Kylo told her to get it, because of the glint in her eyes. It was one of very few black pieces of clothing she'd so much as glanced at.

A man passed close by Kylo, slowing to a near stop. He said, in a low gravelly voice, "Fed up with the old model? Back of the kebab cart. You won't find better for the price. That's a damn promise." The man left without really looking at Kylo, nor anyone else.

Kylo's eyes locked on Lilac's. Somehow they communicated without saying a single word. The five feet between them didn't matter. Kylo could feel himself reaching for her, as everything in her body made her want to hide or run—probably both.

Lilac hadn't heard the man. She couldn't have. She just knew what men like him did. She knew that whatever the man had said, had something to do with slaves.

Kylo stepped forwards, gripping Lilac's arms and holding her close. He wouldn't let her move. He was in control. "We can't run." He warned in a low, stern voice. She had to face the world eventually. The world presented itself.

"You started training me for a reason. I am alive for a reason." She said, trembling. "There are girls just like me wherever that man is going. Just like me, they need help. I'm strong enough."

Kylo knew she wasn't. Not yet. Not for the bouncers and handlers that restrained the slaves. "I can call in a squad to take care of it."

"I want to do it."

Kylo was against the idea. Rescuing one slave had been a fluke, albeit a fortuitous fluke. What would he, or the First Order, do with a market stock of slaves? They were a part of the economy, and as much as he would like to ruin another economy it was just a lot of hassle.

"I will send someone." Kylo pushed back his charge to look her in the eyes. "If you want it done now, I will get it done now. You, Lilac, are not to be involved. You're simply not strong enough, yet. It is far too dangerous-"

"Shouldn't I get used to danger? That's the life in the First Order, isn't it?"

"Your survival is my number one priority right now. Understood?"

Lilac was unimpressed. She folded her arms across her chest. "Those slaves deserve as much freedom as I do. If you won't help them, I might as well go join them. My life won't have meaning if I don't give as good as I got. So." She glared. "What kind of man are you, exactly? Fair opportunities for all? Or did you just want me for yourself, damn anyone else?"

It was the latter. Kylo sighed, but relented. "Can I trust you to go back to the ship? I'll take what few soldiers I brought and we will do what we can. Will that make you happy?"

"Somewhat. As long as you kill every last son of a bitch that thought they could own a person."

Kylo felt a rush of excitement. The glint in her eyes gave him the thrill of pride that came from raising a child in your own image. She was beautiful and deadly.

"I'll go back to the ship," Lilac reassured. "I know my way. Thank you, Kylo."

Lilac reached up and tugged him down, kissing the corner of his mouth. Kylo accepted the kiss with the slightest of smile. He would investigate the slave market, as he promised. Whether or not he rescued anyone would be determined after he found out what slums the merchandise resided in.

No one, and he knew no one, would ever come close to meaning as much to him as Lilac. No slave would be worth to him what she was. Who cared what she wanted.


	19. Not A Villain (Jona and Lilac)

Stupid, stupid Kylo.

Jona hid amongst a group of arguing merchants, watching as Kylo left his charge and stomped off. Lilac stayed behind. Jona watched as she skipped off in the other direction, her long skirt flowing behind her.

Stupid, stupid slave.

Jona followed her, back towards the 'inconspicuous' transport ship the First Order members had arrived in. She hesitated when the ship was finally in sight. Jona stopped and watched. He kept watching.

Jona approached her, parting the crowd with glares and growls. The little girl with the scarf tied tightly around her scalp didn't notice him until he tapped her shoulder. She startled, stepping back and slightly curling her spine to look smaller. She didn't need to. She was miniscule.

She'd never met Jona. She'd never seen him, nor heard his name spoken. He was brand new. His golden hair wasn't as tame as he usually had it. His golden skin was sickly pale. He was pissed off, and his health was suffering for it.

"Hello." Jona said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and tried again, tried to be charming with the slightest of smiles. "You seem distressed. Is there something I could help you with?"

Lilac looked up at him and straightened her back. Her expression hardened, suspicious of the strange man. It was sickening, the scar over her face, creeping up further under the scarf she wore wrapped tightly around her skull.

Stupid, stupid girl.

Jona grinned. "I'm trying to be friendly. I know who you are. I know who you answer to. If he's not here to look out for you..." Jona looked her up and down. "Someone else has to."

"How?"

"Is that interest I hear?"

Lilac shrugged slightly. "There's something I need to do. Something I'm not... supposed to do. But it's important to me."

Perfect. Jona thought to himself how easy she was going to be.

"You need to do something important to you. Kylo said no. Why do you listen to him?" Jona chuckled. He was starting to feel like himself again. Every smile, every lie. It was good to be back in the game. "I can not tell you how many times that guy has done things that he shouldn't, and demands that no one else makes mistakes. He's not a role model."

"He's..." Lilac shook her head, and Jona wondered how her skull stayed in one piece after the crack in it. "I'm learning a lot from him. I'm stronger now. I'm happy now. I just." She made an angry, squishing gesture with her hands. "I want him to take me as seriously as I take him."

"You're a pet."

Lilac's eyes widened. "Don't say that."

"You know it's true. Day one off the Finalizer and he has you on a short leash. How do you really feel about that?"

Stupid. Stupid.

"It's for my safety." She was obviously uncertain.

"What is he doing that you should be a part of? Where did he go?" Jona reached out, gently touching her shoulder. She flinched, but relaxed into the touch afterwards.

"To shut down a slave market."

Jona nearly cried out. She was going to be so easy to turn to his side. He tried to calm down to remain in control. "And he didn't invite you along? You should be spearheading that operation. You're so close to the matter, and you know the ins of those operations. You should be there, saving those men and women you used to share a life with."

Lilac nodded solemnly. "I won't go against what Kylo told me."

"He would." Jona lied. If Snoke, or Hux, gave him an order, Kylo would jump as high as they commanded. "So why don't we?"

"We?"

"We." Jona held out his hand for her to take. "Let's go be the heroes that you used to dream of. Let's free some slaves and kick some ass."

Lilac hesitated, then took his hand. They smiled at each other. Jona wanted to gag.

Stupid girl.

* * *

Lilac hated that she was making her promise to Kylo into a terrible lie. She hated that she was listening to a stranger instead of the man she relied on and trusted her life with. Kylo was so important to her.

Jona was a charming man that knew what she needed, and intended to give it to her. She wanted to fight back against the tier of people that had repressed her and everyone she ever cared about. Jona was leading her to the slave den, both of them keeping an eye out for any First Order operatives. Jona was better at spotting them.

"How do you know Kylo, anyway?" Lilac asked, keeping her voice quiet. They were near the kebab cart that hid the slave market and on high alert.

"I work for the First Order. Kylo doesn't like me, so I'm hoping we can keep my involvement secret."

Jona pulled her down a dark alley. They kept walking, the shouts from a nearby auction getting clearer and clearer.

"How do I keep it secret? He's going to see you."

The alley opened up to a large area dotted with large, solid containers and cages. Bulky men watched the area, perfectly professional even as the slaves in their pens sputtered and whimpered.

Lilac stood and stared. Out in the open, the 'stock' looked pitiful. It was a tragic scene of people-turned-merchandise. None of the slaves would even know what freedom could mean. They had no rights, no choices. Their bodies didn't belong to them, and their minds weren't strong enough to have wills.

No one was entirely naked, but the lack of clothing was made obvious as a gust of wind passed through the auction market. The conditions the people were kept in were horrible; even more horrible than Lilac remembered.

Some of the cages had bundles of straw spread out on the floor. That was their bed. A few bits of straw. If they got thirsty, there was a hose leaking onto the ground that was used to spray them. Waste was pushed out of the cages by their feet.

The slaves in the solid-walled containers had it worse.

"This is what we all looked like from the outside?" Lilac trembled, first with heart ache, then with anger. "This is what I was? It's sickening."

Jona placed his hand on her shoulder. "It ends today. At least for them."

There were probably twenty slaves in the courtyard, plus the ones at the end being auctioned on a short stage.

Kylo was nowhere to be seen.

"See? He's not doing what he told you he would. He'll never know."

"This doesn't make sense. He said he would shut it down."

Lilac walked towards the auction, Jona at her back. They melded into the crowd. An auctioneer was going on and on about prices. Lilac felt her heart racing. She remembered those numbers, those details that defined her.

"These women don't deserve this." Lilac muttered. She and Jona stopped in the center of the crowd, watching the proceedings. "What do we do?"

"We clear the crowd. Then we hack and slash." Jona grinned, his eyes wide and feral. "Then we free your people and get you the hell out of here. How are you with fire, Lilac?"


	20. Home (Kylo)

Kylo wanted to wait for the auctions to be over to set his plan into motion. He wasn't going to put his all into saving the slaves, but he would give it a shot. For Lilac.

Kylo and his two underlings watched the street. They'd killed two slave dealers already, and sent their stock away to a sympathizer that would rehabilitate them. Finding somewhere for them to go had been the hardest part. Killing was the easiest, even if it was technically unnecessary.

The things he did for Lilac were beginning to get him noticed for all of the wrong reasons. His own team members were starting to consider him soft. He was. They didn't need to know that. If one more of his soldiers tried to ask him why he cared so much, with that suggestive eyebrow wiggle, he was going to strangle them.

He liked Lilac. He liked helping her. She needed him to free some slaves, so he would. She'd needed clothes, and he gave them to her. She'd asked him to wear civilian clothes, so he had. She asked many things of him, which he saw as proof that she was growing into her own. Every demand from her was another instance of his good training.

"Sir."

Kylo glanced at his underling, then towards the alley they were watching from across a narrow street. Instead of the small groups trickling out, a crowd hurried through the alley. They all muttered amongst each other, keeping their heads down. Slaves and owners alike were on the move.

"Sir, what do we do?"

"Wait for them to clear, then move in."

His word was law. The moment there was a clear line through the alley, Kylo started forwards. He pulled the lightsaber from his belt and readied to activate it. His soldiers were at his back, their guns aimed at everything that moved. They filed through the alley and out into the courtyard that had been serving as an auction house-slash-black market site.

Smoke was billowing from several spots where Kylo assumed either ammunition or some type of oils had been kept. The auction runners were taking hoses and buckets to large fires, trying to protect what was left of their disarrayed stock.

Kylo was glad to not have Lilac with him. If she had seen the fire, as it collapsed the auction stage and lit the very ground aflame, she would be terrified. She was in the middle of a fire bomb massacre of her planet, and barely survived the experience. For all Kylo could account for, she shouldn't have survived. No one should have. It left the mark of trauma on the girl.

In the courtyard, there were only shouting owners amidst crackling flames. Kylo signaled for his men to spread out, and they did so without hesitating. Kylo strut straight ahead, putting his lightsaber away. He didn't expect any fights while the crews were busy salvaging their livelihoods.

He stepped towards a man that was loudly cursing in front of an empty cage. "What happened here?"

The man turned, his eyes dark and furious. "Some punks lit a bunch of fires then freed our merchandise! Who is going to make up for this, huh? Those bitches were mine! I demand recompense!"

Kylo sneered. It was too hot and too dry for an annoying conversation. It had been too soon to put his weapon away. He took it out, activating it, and waving it around at the angry man. "Answer me clearly. Who did this? Where did they go?"

The man's eyes followed the lightsaber, his Adam's Apple bobbing. "We didn't see them. Too much smoke from the oils and...erm...herbs."

"Drugs." Kylo clarified. Smoke burned in his nostrils.

"Yeah, drugs. And they killed two of my men."

Kylo looked around for the bodies, and found them lying still next to large metal containers that used to hold 'stock'. Their clothes were smoking, set close to a flame, and soon the corpses would be bonfires. They'd been killed cleanly, and left for cremation.

Kylo offhandedly flicked his lightsaber and killed the angry slave trader. The fire would cover up the body. He looked around, signaled, and everyone left standing in the courtyard was put down.

"Did you learn anything useful?" Kylo huffed, sheathing his weapon.

"No, sir." The two undercover stormtroopers said in unison. They looked uncomfortable without their usual masks on to vent out the smoke.

"Someone did this, and it wasn't us. They released slaves, and likely had nowhere to send them. Get in touch with the hosts to let them know. Someone has to give a shit about where the slaves end up."

Kylo coughed and ran through the smoking courtyard. He tried not to draw attention as he stalked towards the ship, but he was pissed off and covered in ash. Alone, he arrived at the ship and entered, making a beeline for the sink.

"Lilac!" He called, as he wiped his face and hands clean.

She appeared, worry creasing her forehead. "Kylo? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He coughed again. "There was a fire. I can't tell you how many slaves were freed. I don't know."

Lilac's shoulders slumped. "You were there? I-in the fire, I mean?"

"Yes." Kylo shook his head and scowled at his reflection in the small mirror above the sink. No one would be surprised to learn that he'd been surrounded by fire. His hair was an ashen mess, his skin was red from the heat. "I was doing what you asked. Then someone else blew up the fucking market."

"It wasn't that bad...was it?"

Kylo turned towards his charge. She was concerned. About the slaves or about him, he didn't know. He didn't care. He took her in his arms, getting ash everywhere. Her skin was soft and cool to the touch compared to his. Kylo closed his eyes and took in the scent of all the perfumes she'd tested earlier in the day.

She had her wish; slaves had been freed, a slave market had been collapsed. Kylo had his wish; Lilac was safe to fight another day. She'd listened to him, and let him take care of her wishes.

"Lilac?" Kylo breathed against the scarf hiding the peach fuzz on her scalp. "I will keep you safe. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes." Lilac held onto him, her posture relaxed.

"Shall we go home?"

Lilac pulled back. Kylo's brows furrowed, confused. There were tears in her eyes. "Kylo, I've never had a home."

"You do now. It's me, and the Finalizer." His lip curled up in disgust. "And General Hux."

Lilac smiled slightly, a tear escaping her eye. "Then aren't I already home?"

Kylo grinned suddenly, unable to stop himself from doing so fast enough. He was happy to have her. He would be happy to use her, when she was strong enough, but until then she was still his. He cared for her deeply.

He'd gotten ash and blood on her, though he wasn't certain how he'd gotten blood on himself. He'd done it, somehow.

Lilac embraced him, and he didn't care about anything else. She was right. They were home.


	21. Snoke And Mirrors (Lilac)

/AN/

Please let me know if there are any major mistakes. I'm still not feeling well but I'm sorry for such sparse updates xoxo

* * *

Lilac blocked Kylo's right hook, likely adding another bruise to her left forearm. He was relentless, and it had been a long time since he'd taken it easy on his charge. He continued his assault, his footwork matching his fists in agility. Every movement was caught in the reflections surrounding them, several Kylo's attacking several Lilac's in unison.

Lilac's expression was hard, her determination doubling. As Kylo struck out, she ducked. Her counter move was to spin, aiming one leg at his knees. Kylo jumped, high up and away, while Lilac stood herself up again.

Kylo landed, several feet back. With haggard breath, he chuckled. "You're doing much better."

Lilac stood in a defensive position, ready for him to attack at any moment. "Of course I am. I have excellent teachers."

Kylo grinned, his breath evening. He thought she meant him and the general. She did, of course, but there was another. Jona had been teaching her more than to fight, as Kylo did, or to have exceptional interpersonal skills, as General Hux did.

Jona was not force-sensitive, but he always made himself seem to be the most powerful person in the room. He made himself intimidating, and assured he always had the last word. He wouldn't let himself be caught vulnerable. Lilac needed to learn those things more than how to kick properly.

"Come at me." Kylo ordered, throwing his arms wide.

Lilac ran at him, intending to tackle the man. He rolled out of the way, and she pursued. She laid long struts after him. He rolled and twirled. She jumped and side-stepped. Every time she was close enough, she struck out with a fist or a kick. Kylo dodged gracefully each time, without a single counter attack offered.

He was skilled enough to hold out forever, but after several minutes he started to slow. Lilac wheezed, sweat staining her loose work-out clothes and cooling her flushed, brown skin. She threw one last punch, expecting air. Kylo caught her fist.

He was sweating almost as much as she was. She was faster than she used to be. Faster than she was last time she chased him. He imagined it was from her solitary training sessions. She knew it was thanks to Jona for chasing her through forests, threatening to gut her if he ever caught up. He terrified her, and she ran faster for him.

Kylo pulled on her arm, and she collapsed into his embrace. Jona was pushing her harder than Kylo, in every way. Kylo had grown softer with her each time. They would train, and talk, and he'd hold her and tell her how proud he was. She had the best of both worlds. She was educated, and she was loved. It was everything she thought she would never have.

"Very good." Kylo kissed her forehead.

Lilac kissed his shoulder, then started kissing down his arm until she kissed each of his fingers. She looked into his eyes, pressing his palm to her cheek. "I like this. Just you and me."

"Have I made you happy, Lilac?"

She smiled. "I don't imagine I could be any happier."

Lilac was finally feeling like the woman she'd always wanted to be. She was strong, healthy, heavy in all the right ways. Her purple hair was growing out, but it was still nowhere near as long as Kylo's. She was just happy to have hair again.

The scar was still painfully clear, connecting the corner of her right eye to the center of her scalp. No amount of hair, she thought, would ever hide it. Finally, she was starting to accept that.

Kylo looked at the scar with sympathy, and with anger. If he could kill the man who'd done it again and again, he would. When Jona looked at the scar, he grinned wide enough to show his fangs. He saw the side of her that wanted to kill every slave trader with her own hands. He was right. It was her mark; her promise to the people she met in chains at auctions and in clubs.

The musty sparring room was blasted with a fresh wave of recycled air when the door opened. General Hux walked out onto the mats, his usual militant garb clashing with the tan tatami room. His expression was cheerful for a man that just returned from a meeting with Commander Snoke.

Lilac, once untangled from her sparring partner, squealed and grinned at the man, but stood her ground. Kylo was at her side, frowning as usual at the general.

"Lilac." General Hux breathed a sigh of relief, stopping before the two. "You look as though you've taken a thorough beating."

Lilac nodded enthusiastically. Every day that she got stronger, she became more resilient. A hearty beating was a milestone. The colourful bruises were trophies and medals.

Kylo cleared his throat. "What has the commander said?"

Hux looked at Kylo, and Lilac noticed the tired circles under the general's eyes. "The commander is not impressed."

The mood in the room deflated further. Kylo's frown deepened, Hux stared at Lilac to measure her reaction. Lilac smiled softly.

"So what?"

The two men looked at each other, then back at the small girl with her optimistic spirit.

"I mean, it's not like I need to be a part of his ultimate plans to be with you two, right? I can just be a friend. A guest. Like I have been."

"Not forever." Kylo picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. "Not on the Finalizer."

The general watched the point where the two touched. "Not even under my command would you be permitted permanent residence aboard the Finalizer. If Commander Snoke says you can not stay, then we will have to find elsewhere for you to go. There is no negotiating."

"I have to meet with him as well." Kylo interjected. "If I can convince him-"

"If you can, the Commander will make you bleed for it, Ren." Hux warned.

"Then I will bleed." Kylo declared.

Lilac pulled on Kylo's arm to make him face her. "Not literally. Don't do anything dangerous for me."

"Do you want to leave the Finalizer?" He questioned seriously. "Leave me?"

Lilac's eyes widened. "No! Never!" She glanced towards Hux. "But, it can't be helped. I'd rather wait for you on some shitty planet than let you be hurt for my sake."

"And I would rather die than leave you on some shitty planet."

Hux held up his hand, silencing them both. "Kylo will have his meeting. Lilac, you will wait in your room. If neither myself nor Kylo could convince the Commander to simply allow you residence here, then we will find an alternative later. You will not be immediately ejected. Take a deep breath, both of you, and continue your day as though nothing has changed.

"Nothing has changed, correct?" He eyed the two, suspicious as always.

Since Kylo started being more openly affectionate with Lilac, Hux had made a point of not asking what was going on between them. Other soldiers would stare at the two, and Hux would order them to reconditioning. Nothing that happened between Kylo and Lilac was any business of the First Order nor of anyone under his command.

Hux didn't ask what they were, nor did he expect to be told. Whatever they were, and they weren't sure themselves, was better left unsaid.

Kylo nodded, his jaw set. Lilac could practically feel the tension in his body that hadn't been there before Hux walked in. Their peaceful moments together were few and far between.

Lilac lifted her fists. "Want to spar a little, general?" She grinned at him. "I mean, since nothing has changed, why not let me throw you around a little?"

Hux looked down at her and shook his head. "Your ego has improved, I see. Hit the showers, kid." He joked, ruffling her hair. Lilac, used to the action, forced her smile to stay solidly planted on her face as the general unknowingly irritated her scar. He continued, "You've done enough ass-kicking today, and your mentor has a meeting to attend."

Kylo stepped between them, stubborn as ever. His lips grazed Lilac's cheek. "Til later, Lilac."

"Til later." She replied. I love you, she swallowed. As Kylo walked out of the room, Hux's eyes were trained on her.

"And you? Anything changed?"

Lilac shook her head. "Nothing. I'm just as badass as I was yesterday."

He didn't seem convinced, judging by the neutral expression he forced onto his features. "Then go. I will work on finding you somewhere safe," he emphasized, "to continue your training."

Lilac walked away from her sparring session thankful for how little the general did know. Jona said to keep their rendezvous a secret. She didn't want their meet ups to end, and he made sure she knew that the First Order soldiers would tear her away from her real teacher if they knew about him. Whatever Jona said, she listened. He was right about her, and about everything else. He knew her, and he knew what she needed. She needed him; the man that led her to her victims and showed her how to make them suffer. If she had to lie to Kylo for that to continue, then she would lie until her face turned blue.

She had a purpose in life, one that Kylo didn't seem to understand. Until he did understand, her true teacher was the one person she followed unquestioningly.


	22. Scout's Honor (Kylo)

_**/AN/**_

 _ **Hey guess what I split a chapter in two so you'll be getting another update soon after this one sorry for being unable to post more lately i love you all thanks for keeping up with me!**_

* * *

Kylo Ren stood silent in a large, dark hall. His fists were at his sides, fingers curled tightly enough to leave imprints of the nails. Supreme Leader Snoke leaned far forwards in his chair, the ends of his mouth quirked down. Snoke regarded Kylo as if he were muddy trash at his feet.

"The girl must go." Snoke's voice echoed through the chamber, daring a hint of dissension from Kylo.

Kylo, however, only paced in his mind. It was final, then. Snoke had given the word, and Lilac had to go. She was just an apprentice, anyway. Or, she was supposed to be. What had happened along the way? That weak little slave was becoming more a warrior day by day. And when she wasn't training her body, she was training her mind just as hard. Her spirit seemed to follow suit.

What was it then?

He let her become important to him.

He could still use her, then throw her away. She wouldn't be the first person he loved that he'd abandon.

He still felt her lips on his, soft as flower petals in early Spring. His fists were clenched, but her warmth lingered along his calloused skin. The shape of her body, innocently pressed into the curve of his, caressed his memory again and again.

Snoke knew nothing of how truly close they were. They never asked what they were to each other, but they were something far more special than lovers could be. Though, being honest with himself, being her lover would be exceptional all on its own. He would devour and cherish every inch of her body and please her until she begged to return the favor.

Sweet lust poured into Kylo's heart.

Snoke leaned back in his seat, snake-like with the smugness of a fox. "Do you wish to tell her yourself?"

Kylo swallowed, hard to do through the desert of his throat. "Where do you require she be relocated? Is there an appropriate distance, Supreme Leader?"

There had been exactly two times Kylo had heard Snoke laugh. The first was when Kylo vowed to lay down his life for the Knights of Ren. The second was just then, as Kylo tried to negotiate for Lilac's relative safety and freedom.

"Relocate? No, just send her with the next scouting mission and leave her wherever they land first. She is none of our concern." Snoke grinned cruelly, lipless skin pulling back to reveal grinding teeth. "Will that be a problem, Ren?"

Yes. Yes; yes, yes.

Lilac was not delicate in any measure; not any more, but she still had fears; traumas that would never fade. There were always concerns. Kylo would always be concerned.

So what was he to do? Let some scouts leave her on a deserted moon? No...

No.

Kylo had to think fast. He had to have a plan before he left Snoke's chamber.

Hux would order the scouts. The next scouting mission didn't have to be to a deserted moon. The scouts could be ordered to fly until they landed, first, someplace Kylo and Hux both agreed on. Someplace beautiful, where she would be treated like a queen. Someplace she could train her body and mind as much as she wanted, or relax at a spa. Whatever she wanted. She deserved the vacation.

Kylo, truthfully, wanted to see if she even could relax. Beneath her smiles and eagerness, there was something hardening in her heart. He sensed it in her, like a vast ocean slowly yet suddenly freezing over.

She wanted a fight.

A war, possibly, against those who hurt her. For all Kylo, or anyone, knew, she had a list of owners she intended to track down. If all her focus was on them, would her life be anything other than a hunt for those terrible men?

Two choices, then.

She could either be sent somewhere to test her inner strength, to see if she was still young and hopeful at heart...

Or he could insist that Hux send her to the first place on her list; to the ones who owned her before Gam, the man Kylo killed to rescue her. Kylo had a list of his own, having followed her history back as far as possible. It wasn't far. Even criminal scum had codes they were willing to die for.

Kylo shook his head, just a slight movement to ease the mind of the Supreme Leader.

"Good," Snoke sneered. "See it done. If there is any interference or obstacle: destroy it."

"I will do as you say."

Snoke's figure turned ghostly, then disappeared altogether. Kylo released his curled fingers and flexed them, feeling the strain in his muscles loosen.

General Hux had to be notified immediately before anyone else got word of the order, or were given scouting orders not from the general.

Kylo stomped out of the chamber, one foot steadily and speedily after the other. He didn't have to walk far before turning a corner and nearly running into the general he'd intended to search for.

"Hux!" Kylo gasped, surprised. He collected himself immediately, the thought of Lilac being sent away soon focusing his nerve. "I need to speak with you, and we need to get you to order a scouting mission immediately-"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up!" Hux grabbed Kylo's arm and started pulling. Kylo resisted for only a moment before letting himself be hurried along by the general. Kylo noticed that Hux's hat was nowhere to be seen, his hair an uncharacteristic mess. His coat, too, was undone and waving about, very much unlike the orderly general.

"What's wrong?" Kylo huffed, taking long strides to keep up with the general's pace. "You're panicking. What is it?"

"Just shut up! We have to go. We're already too late."

"Too late?"

Hux, usually of strong will, was always more difficult to read than the average person. As they rushed, Kylo reached out into the general's mind. There was a name, a single name, on the man's frantic mind.

Lilac.


	23. Sherlock, Meet Kylo Ren (Kylo)

If Kylo had been having a hard time keeping up when Hux was in a panic, Hux had to sprint to keep in sight of Kylo when the answer to the disturbance was revealed.

No one dared to get into their way. Staff threw themselves into alcoves to avoid being run over by the leader of the Knights of Ren and the First Order general.

Lilac's door was open, when it should have been shut tight and locked heavily as it usually was. When Kylo bypassed the opening, he didn't stop. The chaos in the room was nothing when he couldn't see Lilac. There were marks all along the walls and where furniture had been broken up, blast marks from guns and indents from heavy objects—or people—being thrown about.

Kylo quickly surveyed the room, his eyes looking for one thing—any sign that Lilac was still there or even alive. He checked the bathroom, in as rough shape as the bedroom. Blood splatter on tiles from hard strikes blurred in his raging vision.

"What happened?" Kylo turned back to the bedroom. His nails dug into his palms, this time drawing blood. His rage built on top of urgency, flooding his veins with fire. He looked at Hux, who stared back. Kylo realized that Hux had seen the room before he ran to get Kylo, and that Hux hadn't done anything to find out what happened. "Where is she?"

Kylo yelled, lunging forwards to grab Hux by the collar. Hux stared him down. Kylo almost couldn't believe it, but in the general's hard, angry eyes there were tears. Kylo could assume that his own eyes were ready to tear up, from such pure anger and frustration and concern. Fear. Kylo admitted it was fear they both felt.

"Snoke," Kylo's voice cracked, "said that he would not allow Lilac to stay. He told me, though, that we would send her away with a scouting party. He told me-"

"That thing—whatever the Supreme Leader is—is a liar. We have known this as long as we have served under him. He lied now. He told us both to wait for his order. Someone else was already acting on his order."

"And this?" Kylo let go of Hux, throwing his arms wide to the room. "What is this? Did they hurt her? Did they really use their blasters?"

Hux glanced around, then shook his head. "They would not have done that-"

"We obviously are not aware of what anyone around here will do! You and I get our orders from Snoke. Everyone else on this fucking ship gets their orders from us! Is that not what has been true before? Everything has changed. I don't even know that we are in charge of anything now. We may be next."

"Is that what is important?" Hux challenged. "What I meant is that, no, this was not some stormtrooper firing his weapon at our dear Lilac. I thought you knew, and that we had mutually decided not to mention but-"

"Knew what?" Kylo pushed.

"Lilac had a blaster here. Something...different than what we give our soldiers. Something custom, I would guess. Made with entirely different materials. Look at the blast marks. Unfamiliar, yes? Even for a man with as much experience as you, it is foreign."

Kylo looked at the marks, fully examining them for the first time. It was true. The marks were from something smaller than the assigned blasters. Something that must have been meant to be easy to conceal. The blasts were strong, however. Meant to puncture through a body, and possibly continue on. There was no one aboard the Finalizer that could have given her something like the weapon she'd used.

"The blood? Someone was hit. Not shot."

"You're not thinking." Hux pushed Kylo towards the bathroom. Hux was using his knowledge and logic as defense against his own fear. He had to think through the situation. Running around the ship without a destination, only a goal, without knowing whether he would still be in charge wherever he went, would not help Lilac.

Kylo looked again at the blood spatter, then at the broken appliances. The shower bar that held up the curtain had been broken in two, and both halves were lying in a pool of blood and reflective glass. Lilac had fought back. She'd likely been disarmed, first of the gun then one half of the curtain rod, and then the other half. What then?

He knew it, though he had no proof, that most of the injuries had been to whoever took her. The movement in the blood, the trail smeared through the bedroom, was not from Lilac. The body had been larger. She'd killed at least one of her attackers.

She would have been hurt as well, if only by defending herself.

"Lilac..." Kylo wanted to cry out. Too much was wrong and unclear.

"What do we do?" Hux kicked the broken desk chair in the bedroom. "If I am correct, then Supreme Leader Snoke has made certain that we have no control anymore. Our hands are no longer gripping the reigns. We will not be allowed to leave the ship in pursuit."

"Pursuit?" Kylo couldn't keep up with his own thoughts as his mind raced. It wasn't pursuit he was intending on. It wasn't some form of rescue. Lilac would be fine. She was smart enough, strong enough, as long as she had a single chance to keep herself safe she would succeed. What Kylo wanted, more than to find Lilac, was to rip apart any and every person that had so much as tried to lay their hands on her. If she left him a victim.

Hux pushed Kylo, hard, shocking the Knight out of his silent fury. "Kylo Ren. This is not the time to be a whiny, tantrum throwing teenager. Whatever growing you missed out on when you joined the Knights of Ren has to happen now. You have to grow the fuck up, and be responsible for Lilac's rescue. That is your priority; your purpose. So get your ass in motion and help me, dammit!" Hux screamed in Kylo's face, somehow still the rational one.

A stillness washed over Kylo. A certainty consumed him. Hux was right. There was no time to consider anything other than what step had to be taken next. Lilac was waiting for him, whether she was safe or not. Hux was the only man that Kylo could rely on, and for all either of them knew they were surrounded by enemies on all sides.

The First Order was no longer an army of spirits trying to make the galaxy see reason. The First Order was, first and foremost, at that moment, only an obstacle standing between Kylo and Lilac.

There was no one to rely on. Nowhere to run. No Supreme Leader to guide and judge his actions. He was abandoned by the ones he'd sought out for companionship and mentorship. Kylo really had to reevaluate his relationship with all the people, and organizations, and armies, that were a part of his life.

Lilac had to get back in his arms first. Then he could kill whoever he needed to to figure out where he stood in the galaxy's powers that be.


	24. What's New, Watson? (Lilac)

Whatever sedatives she'd been given, Lilac was still feeling the aftereffects of it. It was still strong, forcing her head down whenever she tried to lift it to see her surroundings. By the time she was able to mutter about her confusion, her attackers packed up and boarded their scout vessel.

Lilac tried to call out, cursing or bargaining, but her head lolled back. She wriggled, slow and clumsy, pulling at the restraints. Her wrists were bound behind her back with zip-ties. Her ankles were also bound, which seemed unnecessary while the sedative was still strong in her system.

Lilac's vision grew clearer, widening her view of the ship taking off with a low whistle and blast of hot air far too close for her comfort, regardless of how uncomfortable she already was. Lilac blinked several times, each time her eyesight alternating between getting clearer and dimmer with itchy tears. There was light where she was, at least. Bright, warm light. The burble of a river nearby explained the poking, healthy grass under her cheek.

A large, green expanse was open before her, while the river sat somewhere behind. There was nothing in the distance, and nothing nearby. It was all grass and sunshine. Lilac thought, for a brief moment, that perhaps she was dead. Was her afterlife a patch of grass on a warm Summer's day? It could have been. All alone, with no threatening folk or strange torture devices... Yes, she could be in the afterlife.

But then that would mean that First Order troopers were grim reapers, or the ferryman to the Underworld. That was just ridiculous.

Lilac squirmed. The binds were stronger than rope but, thankfully, not binding wire or anything actually impossible to break on her own. She writhed.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck!"

What would Kylo Ren do?

She didn't have a lightsaber. She didn't have the powers of the force. She also didn't have his unconquerable ability to throw destructive tantrums; though, she had been learning.

Being Kylo Ren was, in that moment, utterly useless.

What would Jona do?

Ah, there was a good idol. Jona's tantrums were always constructive. He built his life and reputation on being constructive while resigning to his vices. Gambling? Fundraising. Heavy drinking? Socially accepted way to steal information from fellow drunkards.

Kidnapped and left bound on a grass plain? An excellent way to learn patience and ingenuity. So what would he do first?

Lilac started to roll around, though her legs and arms tried to twist in their sockets. She scanned the horizon, and the two suns in the sky. On her other side, she examined the wide river. Water flowed freely, blending with the grass almost seamlessly, without any rocks or disturbing reeds. There were no animals lapping at the waves.

It was just grasslands, but Lilac suddenly thought it was terrifying. Alone was wonderful, yes. Singular on an entire planet made of short grass was awful. There should have been, at least, some grazing beasts. Even the ship couldn't have had such an effect to scare wildlife so far that the horizon was closer.

An uninhabited grass planet?

Lilac shifted from side to side, trying to grasp her own bindings. Her head swam, every turn seeming to rock the entire planet.

"Okay." Lilac stilled, palms pressed to the earth, fingers scratching at the soft dirt. Memories reached out. Grave dirt, recently laid, covering bodies she only met briefly but knew intimately. Girls like herself, who didn't have ownership of their own bodies. A grave for them was rare, but it happened; usually when someone started to look for the girl and it was easier to bury the body than burn it.

Maybe Lilac wasn't dead. But, then, maybe she wasn't far from it.

"Think rationally. It's not a grave. The decomposing flesh would at least attract insects. Hell, it would create insects." There wasn't a single maggot in the dirt, nor were there any flies about the air.

Lilac sat up, as slowly as she had to to keep her head attached. Her ankles were red from the bindings. If she didn't get them off soon, the hard edge of the strong plastic would cut into her skin from all the movement. Her own body was nearly the only tool she had. She didn't even have proper clothes, thanks to her attackers' bad timing. She was in her underwear, sports bra and bootie shorts. Neither of those would help her.

Lilac lifted herself up, and pushed her butt backwards. Her arms were long enough that the ties just barely fit under, and she bent her legs to move her hands in front of herself. It was a small relief, plus it gave her access to her ankles.

She sighed. With her teeth, she tightened the ties over her wrists. She lifted her arms, breathing in cool air that. Grasping at a moment of her newfound strength, she quickly cast her arms downwards. She threw back her elbows, bringing her hands with them as the locking mechanism broke open from the force.

Lilac winced as the sting from the sharp gouges hit her.

One problem solved. Sort of.

She used one end of the broken ties to press in the locking mechanism at her ankles ties and was soon freed of those as well.

Lilac stood, feeling the bruises and the aches in her joints from her earlier sparring session. It hadn't been very long ago, and yet she was in another system entirely from Kylo Ren. She had been looking forward to wearing comfy sweatpants and lounging next to the man she loved.

She loved him.

And he'd let her be thrown away.

Supreme Leader Snoke told Kylo to get rid of her, and he had. Him and General Hux. No mission would have been sent out without Hux's approval. No one would have known the code to Lilac's room without Hux or Kylo telling them. And Kylo... He was an unstoppable force. If he'd known about her ejection and wanted to stop it, he would have been there.

He hadn't even seen her off, or warned her. Neither of them had. Was Hux lying about caring about her? Was Kylo feeling guilty about giving her false hope that they were a family, and that she had found a home?

Lilac hoped with all her heart that that wasn't the case. She'd looked into their eyes and saw no lies. She saw something new and foreign; something she had only ever seen in passing: she's seen what she thought was love.

Hot tears stained her cheeks as she sat and thought about their eyes. The way they looked at her, whether they were sparring or cuddling. She was in love with those looks.

"FUCK!" Lilac yelled at the sky. No response.


	25. Resist THIS (Hux)

/AN/

This is very unedited, and it probably shows. From now on, this is what the chapters will be like because I feel really bad for not updating so all that I'll do is write story plot until I reach an end. **_THIS MIGHT MEAN A LOT MORE CURSING_** Thanks for reading and for reminding me to update! I love you all

* * *

Kylo stomped around the Finalizer. General Hux followed, trying to give orders. They could ask for a cup of tea, but they were denied any information on Lilac. It was infuriating to be a superior and yet have no power. Hux was livid.

"Exactly what do you intend to find, wandering around the corridors like this?" Hux grumbled. Kylo was looking for something, someone, but he wasn't speaking. He would occasionally pick up a crew member by their collar, stare them in the eyes, then throw them down before leaving again. It seemed to be nonsensical rage, except that there was one very important reason for every movement the two made.

Kylo and Lilac... Of course Hux had predicted it. Why else would Kylo save her, and also keep her and train her? The warrior Kylo talked about her being was another way to protect someone he cared about. He fell in love.

So did Hux, but that was another matter.

The dear, lovely couple were perfect for each other. The way she trained as though every lesson meant life or death was directly Kylo's influence. She looked in the mirror the same way he did, with a calculation of self-worth deeper than anyone could understand. She ate in a similar way, elegantly stuffing her face to hurry back to work.

She also found a way to similarly hide certain things from her mentors. Where had that blaster come from? Obviously, her visits to the planet Yuiy, were for more than just clothes shopping. She'd found a weapon there and brought it back to the Finalizer without a word to her mentors. Perhaps there were other secrets as well. Isn't that just how it had started with Kylo? Secrets? Then he defected from Jedi training and destroyed any chance for others to take it up.

Interesting, Hux thought, how she could do the same. Taking slaves and turning them into spies and warriors was newly being considered for common First Order practice. Snoke didn't approve of her, but he'd so far allowed the program to be considered. It was all because of Lilac, and following her example the program wouldn't even have the chance to run.

Hux looked sidelong at Kylo. Kylo hadn't thought that far yet. To Kylo, Lilac was missing, and there was nothing else to think about. He was blinded by her.

"Ren." Hux stopped walking. Surprisingly, his partner stopped as well. "What. Are. You. Searching. For."

Kylo threw his arms in the air and made a loud, growling noise. "Fuck if I know."

"You've been throwing people around, crashing through MY ship, and you don't know?" Hux shook his head, his fingers curling into a tight fist. It was not the answer he wanted.

Kylo fumed for several moments, kicking a wall. When he stopped, he was very still. "Actually," a sly frown crept over his face, "I know exactly what I'm looking for. I know it exists. I just don't know who it is. Or where they are. Do you? Of course you don't. You would have killed them already, and we would be trapped on this fucking ship."

"Excuse me?" Hux imagined himself punching the smile off Kylo's face. It calmed him down. It was such a sweet desire.

"Spies." Kylo tapped a finger to Hux's temple. "You have spies. Resistance spies. My mother's spies. That," Kylo hissed, "is what the fuck I am looking for. The only damn people on your fucking ship that might give us some fucking idea what the fuck happened."

"Spies?" Hux trembled. "And you knew?"

"Duh."

"Interesting..." Hux hummed, and hawed, and flexed his muscles. His fist connected with Kylo's jaw, not hard enough to break anything but just hard enough that they both felt stinging pain. "Spies?! On my fucking ship! And you said nothing to me?!"

Kylo rubbed at his jaw and slumped against the wall. "Yeah?"

Hux was ready to beat the crap out of Kylo. He would deserve it, too. Resistance spies on board the Finalizer? Right under his nose? And Kylo knew? If the circumstances were any different, Hux would start ripping the ship apart with his own hands to expose the spies. But, looking into Kylo's weary eyes, Hux knew that it was better to keep them alive. For the time being, anyhow.

Hux punched the wall opposite Kylo. "What are you proposing? That we side with the Resistance?" He bit his tongue. The metallic taste of blood couldn't overwhelm the bitter bile rising up his throat. What was worse? Was it being cast aside by Snoke and practically being put on parole? Was it that Lilac, a woman he'd hoped to keep closer to him than anyone before, was missing? Was it the words that had just come out of his mouth?

Side with the Resistance.

"Yes. That is what I am proposing. We have no one on our side. They would be glad to have us."

Hux whipped around, kicking Kylo in the shin. "You asshole! You imbecile!"

Kylo hobbled for a minute. "Yeah, yeah." He seemed to accept the insults. He knew he was saying the worst things.

"Bastard!" Hux kicked the other shin.

After some more kicks, Hux calmed down enough to follow Kylo through the halls once more. When a new suspect had to be assaulted, Hux took the reigns.

When Kylo could finally walk properly, they had found someone likely to be their one way to contact the Resistance. Hux dragged the woman into a side room, Kylo locking them in.

The room was empty, save two chairs. The woman cowered in a corner while the two men sat in chairs and observed her behaviour. They were silent for a long while, both of them understanding that they needed to be calmer before asking a Resistance spy for help.

"What do you want?" She hissed.

"Don't act as though we cornered you." Hux rolled his eyes. "You picked that corner all on your own."

Kylo spun in his chair, the wheels on the bottom squeaking. He let out a long breath. "I know you are in contact with my mother. With the Resistance. And you know that myself and Hux are in a situation right now. Supreme Leader Snoke has..." Kylo glanced at Hux. "Snoke betrayed us, and it isn't really surprising. What is surprising are his methods."

"What do I care? Mommy doesn't pay me to babysit you." The woman pulled her knees to her chest, making herself seem smaller, meak.

Hux was counting the seconds. Lilac was missing. Dead?

"Pay, hmm?" Hux stood and offered his hand to the woman. "We don't have time for negotiations. Get us off of this ship, and in a position to find Lilac. In return, I will personally give your General Organa classified First Order information. That will satisfy everyone, plus you receive a nice bonus for doing your damn job. Good enough?"

The woman looked between the two. Money got the better of her. She took Hux's hand. "I need you to promise I'll be safe. And that you won't seek out any other possible Resistance members that may or may not have infiltrated the First Order."

"Done." Hux promised, helping her stand. She looked to Kylo.

"Done." Kylo also reassured her. "We need you. By the time we don't, we will be in the care of someone else and you will be awaiting your pay raise."

Her eyes sparkled. It was the luckiest deal she'd ever received.


	26. Golf (Jona and Lilac)

Jona knew everything. He knew that Lilac was sent away. He knew that it would tear Kylo Ren and Hux apart. And it felt so, SO satisfying to know that he had had some part in it. Thinking that Ren was running around, screaming, throwing tantrums, made Jona's heart do happy little flips in his chest.

Stupid Kylo Ren. Stupid Hux. Stupid Snoke. They got rid of him. So he made sure they got rid of Lilac. A few false reports planted in the system to be delivered to Snoke personally... Easy stuff. Next, he would get rid of Ren. And Hux, if that idiot was stupid enough to follow Ren away from the First Order, then Hux would have to be taken out as well. No big deal. Jona was willing to do whatever it took to get back at them.

And, oh, it felt so good to have a plan.

Jona's fingers drummed the counter of a seedy bar. He was taking his sweet time, knowing exactly where Lilac was, and also knowing that Ren wouldn't be able to find her on his own. He had noone that could help him. He would go rouge, because he was in love with her, and because he was a child that cried when his toys were taken away. A child with the power to destroy planets was sweet.

He was going to let Lilac wait a while. Let her mind wander. Let her doubts stew. Jona would save her.

He sighed.

It was so sweet. Sweeter than the nectar he sipped, paying double the amount it was worth without a fuss. Let the bar take his money. It was going to be closed in half a year, anyway. The money would end up in the pocket of whoever ran the neighborhood with an iron fist and a blaster to everyone's skulls. Sweet, sweet economics.

Lilac would hate Kylo Ren by the time Jona was done reeducating her. Then, somehow, Ren would find them. Jona would make certain that Ren didn't get the chance to speak. Lilac would kill him.

Once Jona got bored of her, he would tell her the truth. He would crush her very soul. Then he would throw her down a damn well. Or maybe bury her alive with a communicator so he could hear her screams and struggles.

Fuck, there were butterflies in his stomach. It was amazing having a plan. It was amazing to be able to use a girl like her. She was willing to use her history as a sex slave to get wherever she needed to be. She hated it, but she did it. For the greater good, Jona would remind her. Suck a dick, save a life. He made her believe it. He made her repeat it. She was valuable as long as she did what he said.

"You want to save someone?" Jona muttered over his drink, picturing her pitiful face. "Let's save someone." He laughed suddenly, quite loud, alarming the bartender. "You know what, my man? Women are fools. Women with goals? Easy."

The bartender, a shabby old man with a brown cloth that definitely did not start out brown, shrugged. "I don't bother with women anymore."

Jona's eyes widened. "The fuck? Women are great. They're foolish, and easy! Total tools! And you're... not bad looking. Maybe you should wash your beard once in a blue fucking moon, but I'm sure you could get some girls dancing for you."

The old man laughed from deep in his belly, his wiry beard shedding over the counter. A hair landed in Jona's drink.

Jona stood, frowning. "The fuck? Get your kicks while you can. Your business won't give you shit for satisfaction."

"Your woman will get you killed. They are much smarter than you think. Ask my sister. She's the one shutting down this bar."

"Good girl." Jona slammed the door shut on his way out.

It was too early to act.

He had to find a new bar with like minded people.

Or, he could just go find someone to blackmail. That always improved his mood.

 _ **LILAC**_

What the fuckening fuck? There was literally one river, a surface covered in grass, and nothing else as far as lilac could see. She walked for hours, finding nothing. There was no wildlife. Nothing living but the grass. It was an impossible planet.

Lilac walked, stomping her feet into the dirt. Before Kylo, she couldn't have walked properly across a room. With all the training she'd received, she could keep walking AND she could kick the ass of anyone that might actually live on the best planet for golf she'd ever heard of.

She couldn't even play golf. With or without proper equipment, she'd never been taught how to play. She would definitely try, though, if she could find a single tree to carve clubs and a ball with. She wouldn't bother with a shelter. She would just golf. What was the point of anything else?

She thought she'd found a family. She thought she'd been saved. She thought she'd fallen in love. How could that have possibly been true? He shoved her aside. They both did. Kylo. Hux. She trusted them, with everything.

Fuck.

They were her future. They were her everything. She wanted to run and scream and fall into their arms.

They would drop her.

Both of them.

Is that what she deserved? Is that what the galaxy had always planned for her? Was there some great karmic deity that punished her with several years of bad luck after just a moment of happiness?

Jona was right. He always was. She just had to focus on herself. She had to focus on her life's mission. Her purpose.

There were so many slaves in the galaxy, each one with the same view on karmic activity. They were doomed. All of them. The least Lilac could do would be to free them to face it as they saw fit.

It was what Kylo had done for her.

Kylo Ren.

She loved him. More than anything. He was her family.

Hux was her family.

And they'd betrayed her.

Fuck family. She never had one before. She hoped, dreamed, that she had. She imagined that they were loving and supportive. She imagined that they were crushed to find that she was gone. If they knew how to find her, they would have. They loved her.

She also thought Kylo loved her, and that Hux loved her.

She was free. She was strong.

She was free. She was strong.

"I am free." Lilac sank to the ground, holding her knees to her chest. The river wouldn't shut up, but it was the only sound on the entire planet. If the river would stop flowing, there would be absolute silence. "I am strong."

Then, along with the water, Lilac's tears filled the silence. Being strong, and free, didn't matter without her friends.


	27. Kylo And Hux Meet Their Better

**_/AN/ How about, instead of writing about golf again, I make myself cry? Here you go. Thank you for sticking with me for this long. Sorry I'm not better. I sincerely love you, my dears_**

Hux, no longer a general in The First Order, considered himself the worst kind of traitor. He hadn't only left the Order, he'd also immediately sought out the Resistance. Hux held his chin high, and his palms open at his sides. No reason to show signs of aggression, he thought. Kylo Ren, meanwhile, frowned and stomped past people like a force of nature.

Just week ago, Hux would have been delighted to be walking along a wide corridor filled with Resistance crew. He would also have been delighted to see them burning and screaming in horror, but alas they were calmly talking about this and that as though his presence were of no consequence. It made him want to return to the First Order to prove to everyone that he was not someone to be ignored. Even as Kylo was ignored, even mid-rampage.

They'd arrived at a Resistance base, thanks to the recently promoted spy they'd struck a deal with. A wave of commotion swept through the underground maze of 'freedom fighters'. "General Hux?" They all gasped in awe. "Did we capture him? Is he here to surrender?"

Some, more used to war, grumbled and made silent pacts to never let the newcomers out of their sight. Ever. Hux had a hard time locking himself in a toilet stall. Ridiculous.

An officer waved the two men towards a section of seating, and Kylo sat in a huff. His legs were out in front of him, ready to trip passersby, while his arms crossed over his chest. His nails dug into his arms. Hux sat carefully beside him.

"Your...mother...is General Leia Organa?"

Kylo rolled his eyes. "Thought you knew."

"It wasn't important. I've always thought you wouldn't survive under Snoke. He's wanted to crush you under his thumb since day one." Hux made a show of pressing his right hand thumb into his left palm.

"I thought the same."

Hux shook his head. "No you didn't. You're a nasty little child that thinks his nasty mentor will take his side in any situation. You would strut around as though no one could touch you. You know what I wanted to do?" Thumb, palm.

"Look where that got me." Kylo nodded towards the suspicious Resistance members with their muscles tensed and ready for action.

"Got us." Hux corrected. The two stared not so subtly at their audience until there was so much tension in the room that Hux lifted his middle finger to the Resistance soldiers and his arm tired under the effort. "Pricks."

"Agreed." Kylo shook his head. "I have a plan." He said, just loud enough for his new rivals to hear. "I'll hold them down, and you can shave their heads. We'll glue something poisonous to their scalp so they rash for a few months. Maybe even get horrible, permanent scarring when the itching drives them clinically insane."

The rivals' eyes bugged out. They exchanged glances, not certain at all if the threat could be pulled off.

Hux rested his head back against folded arms. "Why stop at their scalps?" He revealed a toothy grin. "You and I just may get along, Kylo Ren."

"Just Kylo. Seriously. We're pals. Traitors should stick together."

"And fight together." Hux nodded. "For Lilac."

"You sentimental ass." Kylo playfully backhanded Hux's arm. "Should we start a dance troupe, too? Renux Reloaded would be a sweet name."

"You're the ass."

"We were meant for each other." Kylo sighed contentedly. If he had to betray The First Order and run back to his mother with anyone... he was just glad it was Hux. They'd bonded in the oddest ways since Lilac started forcing them into the same room. Kylo just finally decided to stop fighting it. Hux was a real ride or die friend.

Though, obviously, if Hux tried to get out of line, in any regard, especially with Lilac, Kylo wouldn't hesitate to kick his ass into the nearest volcano.

"Have you finally given up your dream of being Darth Vader, you brat?"

Kylo tensed and stood suddenly, spine much straighter than he'd been only seconds before. Hux was surprised that Kylo didn't go the extra mile and salute as General Leia Organa appeared before them.

Hux slowly stood, to be polite to someone who'd been one of his arch-nemeses the week prior. The two traitors were stood shoulder-to-shoulder in front of a terrifyingly powerful woman. Hux respected the hell out of that woman. She was so strong, and smart, and creative, and so many other things. She was everything Hux had wanted to be when he joined The First Order, and she was so much more than he could have ever been.

And she was Kylo's mother.

Hux stifled a laugh. "I'm guessing you didn't get your strength from your mother, eh, Kylo? Shame. Maybe you would have been more useful."

Kylo didn't even flinch. He was staring with such bugged eyes at his mother, his Adam's Apple bobbing nervously.

General Organa regarded them both. "You two make a sweet couple. Hux, was it?"

He nearly saluted. "Yes, ma'am?"

She smiled, but there was no warmth in her expression. "Hux. I need to speak with my son alone. Find something useful to do. Grab a mop. We all do the shit work around here. Get used to it."

"Yes, ma'am." Hux swallowed, hard. "Honored to meet you. If Kylo doesn't say anything helpful, please understand that this is not a favor we ask of you. This girl...Lilac...She's changed your son...She's changed me. We can, and intend to, do better. At your command, General." Hux bowed slightly. Without a second more to hesitate, he fled before risking any other embarrassing confessions.

Kylo stared, and stared.

Leia's eyes slowly brimmed with tears. Her smile warmed and her hands trembled. She was always a strong anchor for the family, and for whatever army she was a part of.

"Mother." Kylo croaked. "I'm home. Sorry I've been gone for so long-"

And just like that, her arms were around her son in a tight embrace. Every bit of love she'd missed out on giving him over the years poured out. Neither of them cried, though they so desperately needed to. Later, they promised themselves, sharing thoughts of what later meant. They were back together again. Family, reunited. Somehow, someway, they were going to be okay.

"Mom...I need your help. I love her."

Leia, somehow, held him tighter. "I understand, son. I understand you. Finally."


	28. Family Dinner (Kylo and Jona)

Kylo sipped water from a cloudy glass, his fingers leaving oily prints on the outside. He was all counts of uncomfortable. His nerves sweat through every pore, miraculously not enough to soak through his suffocating black clothes. He itched to grab his gloves from beside his dinner plate and draw them on, as if he could hide the way they trembled.

His parents, both General Leia Organa and the recently back-in-action smuggler Han Solo, sat across from him at a small, oval table. They spoke to each other between bites, snapping their words with quiet blame. They were trying to figure out who was at fault for their son running away and joining the one organization that they had spent their entire spotlight years in war against.

Kylo didn't want to take the blame on himself, but he also detested how they had to find fault in each other. He'd tried to stop the bickering. He'd tried to make them focus on the issues at hand—to which no solutions had yet to be presented—but nothing could stop the famous duo when they decided to fight.

Hux was somehow becoming increasingly loyal to Kylo, sitting at his left side but staring at the older ex-couple. Hux noticed Kylo's twitchiness and said nothing. If Leia, or gods forbid Han, started to notice something impatient about Kylo's posture, Hux was there to distract. The ex-general was all too happy to ask Leia about the Resistance. She swore to gut him if he so much as stepped out of line, and then spilled the secrets Hux had been after since he initially joined The First Order.

Hux berated himself for not considering it could be so easy to get all that information just by switching sides. His curiosity had won out his loyalty to the First Order years before, between speeches and plans and meetings. Hux only wanted to know what the Resistance could do.

The meal wasn't as fancy as he'd enjoyed on the Finalizer, but the Resistance had treated their new guests to real meat and potatoes with sides ranging from fresh bread to saucy vegetables.

Han dropped his fists onto the table, creating a loud thump that startled Hux. The Organa/Solo family members didn't flinch. It was good that they were in a small room by themselves, but outside the doors guards listened closely and could be heard discussing whether they should be concerned about the noise.

"Hey, shut up!" Han yelled at them. To his ex-wife he stuttered, "Shouldn't we be asking the boy what he wants?"

"The boy?" Kylo seethed.

Leia ignored him. "I know what he wants. I knew from the moment he got here. You are the one that isn't catching up."

"Catching up with what? He's back. Put him to work so he can't leave again."

Both Leia and Kylo rolled their eyes. Leia leveled her gaze at the smuggler. "If you're not going to help, you can leave."

"Help what? Find his lady love? Why'd he lose her, anyway?"

Kylo slammed his fists down on the table. This time, Hux was the only one not startled. Kylo wasn't the kid they remembered, always hanging back and watching his parents fight. He was Kylo Ren, the terrorist pursuing order in the galaxy with an iron fist and a trail of blood in his wake. "Lady love? Han Solo if you-"

"Hey, I am your dad!" Han pointed a stern finger at his son. "Call me Han Solo ever again, and I'll ground your ass in the deepest pit I can find. If you weren't so damn obsessed with doing something that mattered before you were ready-"

"Before I was ready?" Kylo guffawed. "You're crazy."

"Don't call your dad crazy," Leia sighed. She turned back to her meal, the same field rations her soldiers were eating on missions, knowing that anything she said couldn't stop the argument. The best she could do was regulate their language.

Han continued, "You came running back to us because of a woman you can't find. Right now, you're the crazy one. That's what these damn women do to us. Screw us and screw us over, and then we go running back. Trust me, Ben, if this Lilac is anything like the strong women us Solos are attracted to; she's fine. Probably on her way to ruling a planet by now, or running her own army. Sexy stuff."

Kylo was repulsed at his father talking about what Solo men found sexy. Hux, at his left, just nodded quietly along. "Something to say, Hux?"

Hux chuckled, gesturing between the family members. "I get it now."

Kylo looked between his parents with wide eyes. "Shit. Okay. Back to Lilac-"

"How did you meet her?" Leia perked up, her wise eyes glowing. "My daughter-in-law. What's her story?"

Han grinned at her. "They're not married. Plus, this guy's in the way. Aren't you, Mr. Ex-General."

Hux shrugged then winked. "It hasn't been a problem so far."

The Solo men blushed fiercely, mouths opening and closing while they looked at each other. "Grow up," Leia chimed in.

"Stop growing up." Han ordered. "We don't need to talk about whatever this is," he gestured towards the younger men, "or whatever she is. You're in love, yes?"

"Yes." Both Kylo and Hux answered.

Kylo narrowed his eyes at Hux. "Can you take a back seat for twelve seconds? My father is asking me a question."

Hux shrugged. "It was relevant to me, too."

"Shove it."

"Love to."

Han threw a bun at his son. "Pay attention. You're in love. Good for you. She's missing? A damsel in distress? Then it's time for me to show you what princes do. Sit back and make other people search for her."

Leia smacked her ex-husband. "These two will have all the resources we can provide. The First Order tossed away a valuable resource, and lost two more because of it. We can pick up those pieces and destroy the Order with them."

"Great plan, ma'am!" Hux clapped his hands together. "I very much enjoy destroying ex-employers. I'll do whatever you say."

Kylo rolled his eyes. "For Lilac, so will I. Mother."

"Then we'll start planning in the morning."

Han bristled. "This is a family matter, Leia." He reached over the table, giving his son a light punch to the arm. "We'll handle it together. All of us." Han nodded at Hux, cementing the ex-general into the family circle.

Hux nodded, delighted. "Our place or yours for holidays?"

 _ **JONA**_

Jona circled the green planet. Grass everywhere, no heat signatures, one single lazy river somehow flowing without any significant drops or declines. It was a safe place, where he'd made certain no one would find Lilac. The First Order was full of soldiers just hoping for some pay and a ride to the outer rim. Done, and done.

But, what the fuck? Lilac was nowhere to be found. Nowhere. Jona made a mental note to destroy every person that had anything to do with misplacing his little gem.

The transmission his contacts sent said that she was clearly tied up, half-naked, drugged, clueless. Where in the hell could she have gone to?

Jona's eyes started to cross. If he had to stare at the colour green for much longer, he was going to vomit.

A crater appeared in the horizon. Jona landed his small ship near it. There were scorch marks, dirt and grass thrown everywhere. A crash site. Bits of debris were scattered, half buried under patches of grass already trying to reclaim the site. It wasn't an old crater, but the grass was aggressive all around the planet. If a person sat still for too long, they would get covered in green.

After a long investigation of the site, Jona shook with anger. There was one single possibility. Either someone crashed, and rescued Lilac...or...

Lilac flew a crashed ship off the planet, rescuing herself.

"Shit... Shit, shit shit!"

She was definitely gone. Suddenly, the clock was ticking and Jona was clueless about where to begin his search. He was once again on the same level as Kylo Ren. Equal playing fields. He fucking hated it.


	29. Playdate (Kylo)

Kylo and Hux told the Resistance everything they knew about the First Order. They answered question after question with as much patience as they could muster. It took days, but as field soldiers searched for word of Lilac, they really didn't have anywhere better to be.

Hux always triple checked that his food wasn't spat in. Kylo made certain to get his food at the same time and place his father did because, really, who would spit in Han Solo's food? No one in the Resistance, surely.

At night, Kylo and Hux shared a small room, just mats on the cramped floor behind a door that only locked from the inside. It was the smallest amount of security they could be offered as recent enemies turned begging allies. Even with all the information given to the Resistance, very few people wanted to trust them. Some reasoned that "If General Leia trusts them," then they must be safe.

Kylo didn't feel as though he was safe for them. He was also barely sleeping because even though the base was always loud and busy, every noise outside his door was reimagined as an extremist waiting to strike the First Order defectors. Possibly on a kill or be killed basis.

One night, after a warm meal and a hot shower, Kylo shut the door to his shared closet, trying not to wake Hux. They'd both had hard times sleeping since Lilac was taken, and it had only gotten worse with the territory. Waking the sleeping ex-general would spell disaster.

Kylo flung his shirt and shoes off before laying down on the thin mat. It was no softer than the floor, but it was much warmer. After tossing and turning for several minutes, he folded his spare clothes and punched them into something resembling a pillow.

It was approximately an hour later, one REM passed, that Kylo tossed around again. Hux was lightly snoring, his body pulled into itself to take up the least amount of room.

Trying to be a smaller target, Kylo guessed. It was smart to take precautions.

BAM

Kylo startled. Something had been thrown against the door, and Kylo jumped to his feet. He pressed himself against the door, both to bar it and to listen to whatever was happening on the other side. While he was paying attention to the outside world, Hux stumbled up next to him.

"Think they're killing each other out there?" Hux mused, his voice making it clear that he was still half asleep.

"We can only hope." Kylo responded. The scuffle didn't escalate, and so the two unlocked and pushed the door open. The sitting room was almost the same as it had been 2 hours before, aside from a single tossed chair scraping the floor with the moving door. A small group of men huffed and puffed, three to the right, four to the left. They were staring each other down, venom in their eyes and stone in their hearts.

Kylo resisted the urge to grin and laugh. A standoff outside his door? He hadn't felt so popular in a long time.

Hux put his hands up, "Gentlemen, is there a problem?"

Growls.

Kylo rolled his eyes. "I see we have devolved. Is it something in the water? Should I be concerned?"

Hux snickered, "Perhaps we should be. They suddenly devolved outside our room. There must be some connection there, yes?"

"Absolutely."

One man, from the left four, slapped a hand over his heart, "We believe that you two are only willing to feed us information because there is an attack coming. There is no way the First Order let a general and the leader of the knights of Ren simply walk out-"

"They didn't," Hux explained through clenched teeth, "and we have explained our escape very clearly."

"You're not fooling us!" Another left-man yelled. "You'll kill us all!"

"These idiots?" A man from the right bawked back. "General Organa trusts in them. All they want is to find Lilac, right? You're all married. You know what a woman can do to a man."

"Rip him apart."

"Exactly. If they're looking for her, then she's already done that. I believe in their mission-"

"Enough!"

The men from the left lunged first, three towards their confronters, and one towards Hux who was closer. A flurry of fists exploded in the room. To Hux and Kylo, it was easy to avoid the fighting. The one man who dared attack them head on was thrown against the wall head-first and knocked out before he could do any damage to anyone. The rest threw punches repeatedly, until they each had several bruises.

Kylo and Hux watched, neither wanting to interfere. It didn't matter which side won, wether the side that wanted them dead or the side that wanted to trust in their general and her son.

So they watched until someone from outside the confrontation stepped in and broke up the fight. Bloody lips and broken noses abound, the men were sat down and ordered to wait for the general. Kylo crossed his arms and waited with them while Hux disappeared back into their closet.

"I see you're all making your positions known to each other," was Leia's opening line as she marched into the sitting room. The single thrown chair was still laid out. Everyone, other than Kylo, saluted. "Explain. Someone. Now."

Kylo waved his arm, gesturing to the mess of soldiers. The one he'd helped knock out glared at him. Kylo huffed, "There was a small war over who gets to decide the fate of myself and Hux. We hadn't yet found out the winner."

There was a tenseness to Leia's lips that told she was either trying not to smile or trying very hard not to sneer. "Then would anyone object to declaring me the winner? And this winner decides that Ben-or Kylo, whichever he's going by right now-and Hux are allies and are not to be fought over. They live. They stay. They fight with us when the time comes. Any complaints?"

Everyone glanced around without making eye contact.

Kylo puffed. "You get your way again, mother."

"Indeed. Go to sleep, son. It's past your bedtime."

Snickers.

Kylo shook his head. "If anyone needs me... Ask my mother for a playdate."


	30. Scars And Vengeance (LILAC and JONA)

Lilac tried not to breathe a sigh of relief when she saw Jona standing at the entrance to the tropical hotel. She felt like there was something on her face, blood on her hands, or literally anything wrong with her that would make him stare at her as though she was the only one in the room. She smiled and approached him with a bounce in her step, her long skirt flowing in the wind from the airy lobby: of all seven windows, each was open to the Summer breeze.

Jona, on the other hand, was not smiling. He stomped towards her and grabbed her arm, dragging her through the lobby. Her arm hurt where his hand gripped her, but she kept smiling to reassure the hotel employees who weren't used to seeing such rough handling. It was just good to have him back.

For the first time since she was thrown off the Finalizer, Lilac was taking time for herself to mend and think about something other than her direction in life. She found a nice resort that didn't ask where her money came from and spent her days in the spa trying to forget about Kylo. It didn't work. Getting back to training and working with Jona was exactly what she needed.

Jona, somehow knowing her room number, took the key and pulled her inside the single bed suite and let go only to pace around the room. Lilac locked the door, as she always did.

"Jona?" She called to him, wherever his head was. He stopped for a moment, looking straight at her with fury in his eyes and cogs turning behind them.

Her life since she last saw him flashed before her—fist fights, theft, sneaking around, anything she had to do to survive on her own while making any slave owners she passed feel what their livestock felt. The battles she'd fought, and so far won, were all incomparable to the harm she continued to do to herself. She knew how disappointed Jona would be if he knew she starved even when there were banquets for breakfast and buffets throughout the day at the resort. She held her breath in the pool water longer than she should. Her bath water was hot enough to sting, and she never tried to change it. Then, even her unconscious mind wanted her to hurt herself. Her nails still dug into her abdomen, and had started to rake along the backs of her hands. The marks were hard to hide, and she tried to tell herself that she didn't need to... But she tried her hardest every damn day. She passed women and men reveling in the clothing optional spaces around the area, and he shrunk back from their confident smiles.

She was a fighter, though. A killer. Torturer. The reminder of those things put smiles on her face and lifted her chin enough to stand next to those happy people. No one knew. No one needed to know. She knew. She felt the power of being cruel and, while it used to scare her, she embraced it.

Jona wouldn't see all of that. He wouldn't see her struggles, or her victories. He wouldn't see the pit in her heart that Hux left, or the incredible weight Kylo sat on her shoulders the day he had her drugged and shipped off. Even the best spas had no effect on that weight. It was just there, and crushing her with each passing day.

All along, it wasn't Kylo and Hux she needed; it was Jona. He didn't leave her. He didn't throw her away. He found her.

Jona stared, and Lilac moved forwards. She threw her arms around him, and took in his earthy peppermint scent. "You found me," she whispered. No one else was looking. No one else had ever looked. Not when she was a child, not when she was being sold around and definitely not when she was being kept on the Finalizer by men she thought she could trust. But Jona had searched. In all her life, he was the only one.

Jona hugged her back with his sturdy arms. "Yeah. I did. You sure as fuck made it difficult." He was growling in her ear, but she felt only warmth in her heart.

"Don't lose me again, okay?"

"Never."

Jona really, REALLY hated trying to comfort her. Her skin was warm and her hair smelt like eucalyptus and everything about her being at a spa resort made him grind his teeth. She was supposed to be out killing and avenging and wreaking havoc. Maybe she'd done a bit of that, before the spa, but it was hardly enough to make him even imagine being proud of her.

Lilac didn't know that she was supposed to wait for him, but that didn't excuse her actions. What is a person supposed to do when they're lost? Stay put. Jona supposed he should have taught her that before having her ejected from the Finalizer once Snoke made the call, but he'd neglected to do so.

"What happened?" Jona asked, grinding his teeth. He knew plenty about what happened, but she didn't need to know that.

Lilac smiled up at him and invited him out to the small balcony. They took up the two small chairs and looked over the gardens.

Lilac showed the back of her hands, thin pink lines across the skin. "It hasn't all been spa days and clean water, that's for sure.

"I guess Kylo and Hux decided I wasn't worth thinking of alternatives. Snoke said I had to go, and so I was sent away." Lilac sighed as Jona took her hands, rubbing the marks with his thumbs as lightly as possible. "Drugged. Practically naked. I found a ship and I took off. I didn't look back."

Jona nodded along reassuringly to her slow speech. "Those bastards didn't deserve you. I've always thought that."

"I know. And now we don't have to worry about it. They're gone. They won't be looking for me, and I won't be looking for them. Anyway, I found a trail of slavery and general assholeishness and I followed it. And I murdered it." Lilac scowled out at the sun. "For two months now, I've been keeping your values alive. Survive. Thrive. Destroy the hierarchy to make a place for myself. That's what I've done. Now I'm here. And I don't want to leave until I'm out of money and forced to stow away on a delivery freighter."

"Then... You've made no contact with the First Order?"

Lilac's lips pulled back, showing her canines. "Are you fucking with me? I've made zero contact with anyone and everyone. If I contact, I kill. They're all horrible, so I do horrible things to them. But, really, all I want to do is save those girls. And guys, of course."

"Mostly girls." Jona leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head. He looked exhausted and weak, even more than he had when they first met. Somehow, like always, he managed to pose in such a way that made him appear to be the most relaxed man in the galaxy. There wasn't the slightest crease in his forehead or tenseness in his shoulders. He existed in such a way that he might have been in a different dimension where nothing mattered and nothing could change who he was or what he ever did.

"Mostly girls." Lilac agreed. She explained, because she needed to hear the words, "Mostly girls because each one of them is me. Every single girl out there," she gestured towards the great outer expanse that 'out there' meant, "is exactly who I was and how I felt. I want to save myself, like I never had the chance to before."

Jona closed his eyes. "So you have saved multiple men women and children who are other versions of you. And, what? Is it enough?"

Lilac stared down at her hands. In her mind, they were covered in blood. It was her blood, from years of torture. It was their blood, from much of the same. And it was the blood of the villains who kept the cycle repeating over and over.

Lilac had seen so much fucking blood in her life. The thing she wanted most was to get away from the blood and the scars and the torture and the rape. The worst thing she could think of would be to stop fighting her cause, no matter what mud it dragged her through.

"It's not enough," Lilac answered. "It will never be enough."

"Good." In Jona's mind, there was poison. He could sense it running along his skin and filling up the world. Lilac was covered in it, bleeding and boiling and not at all aware of the danger. She was just letting it consume her. And she was consumed. It warmed Jona's heart to know the things he could do with her. She was his latest tool of vengeance. And one day, one amazing day, she would kill Kylo Ren for him.

And, still, it will not be enough

For either of them.


	31. DDEW (LILAC AND JONA)

"I want to know that your heart is in the right place." Lilac crossed her arms. She sat opposite Jona at a cafe, a cup of steaming tea in front of her and a plate of toasted, seed covered crackers between them.

"Want? Heart?" Jona, his golden hair tangled and thinning more by the day, scoffed. He pulled at what was left of his locks, the prime image of a man killing himself with overwork. He was stressed, frustrated, and just sick of waiting. Why wasn't Lilac ready yet? Every kill, every freed slave, he looked at her and saw a woman holding herself back. She could be crueler. She could demand so much more from the people she saved. "What I want, deep in my heart of hearts," Jona mocked, "is to see you succeed in your mission."

"This mission," Lilac stressed, "is ours. You promised me that this was a team effort for a dual purpose. But you're not..." She waved her arm, gesturing at Jona's disintegrating health. He worked every day on his muscles, baking in the hot sun, his skin wrinkling and his muscles groaning for a rest. His tan turned to burns. Jona used to be beautiful. Lately, he'd just been hard to look at.

"To answer you clearly; I am not interested in freeing slaves. That's your thing. My thing is helping you. To what end? We will see."

"End?" Lilac sometimes felt as though she was stealing Jona's glow. While his hair fell out, hers grew to brush her shoulders. His skin pinched and pulled like it wanted to escape, while hers resisted scarring and smelt like the ocean breeze even when they stowed away in deep space.

Kylo's face popped into Lilac's head. For just a moment her heart warmed and she almost smiled at his memory. That warmth turned bitter fast. Before he betrayed her, he did teach her about the differences between the light side and the dark; the old Jedi and the Sith.

Some believed that darkness, that evil, turned one corrupt and killed them from the inside out. They grew ugly and horrible. Lilac could see why they thought that, when she looked at Jona try to hide his gnarled hands. There was something dark and wrong about him.

The dark side was not about being evil and corrupt, not according to Kylo. It was about being free to be who one wanted to be. It was about understanding ones emotions and using the force of that passion to fight for what one believed in.

Lilac didn't know about light sides or dark sides. When Kylo talked about the dark side his voice drew her in and caressed her spirit. It was nice to believe in something, but she couldn't believe in him and his feelings ever again.

Whatever Jona was, whatever made him look so absolutely horrid, it wasn't the dark side. It was just..who he was.

Just like her.

She was a head scar and a pretty face and not much else.

If she had been anything more, maybe Kylo would have let her stick around longer.


	32. Runaway (Lilac)

_/AN/Just a reminder that I am still alive. Sorry_

* * *

When Lilac noticed Hux following her, she ducked into a narrow, empty alleyway and started running. She didn't look back. She knew he was there. They'd been following her for days, and she was getting sick of it. Every night she told herself to turn around and demand answers. Every night she kept her eyes forwards and hid herself in the first convenient cubby. Sometimes it was with Jona, who told her to stay away. She kept her distance, but it was a thrill to have Hux, and sometimes Kylo, close and in her sight.

There were no slave trade targets in the city of brick and rusting metal. Without a job, waiting for Jona to decide the next move, running away from the two men she once loved, or denied she still loved, was the next best thing to stirring up her own sort of trouble.

It took more effort to lose Hux than it had the previous few days; proof that he was getting used to her movement patterns and the routes of the city. When Lilac finally stopped, in a small nest made of fabric smothering an old rooftop bird coup, she breathed in heavily and let sweat bead off her skin. The nest was just comfortable enough for her to curl up in, and let in just enough air to breathe. During the day, light struggled to get in; at night, as it was while Lilac once again wondered about Hux's motivation for chasing her, the nest was pitch black even after her eyes adjusted. The neon and city lights stayed well below the rooftops.

When her breathing was finally under control, Jona lifted a flap of fabric and pushed her to the side. They sat, so close that Lilac could barely contain her disgust at his smell. It was smoke and bile and death. Lilac was fairly certain that he was dying, but said nothing to him. He knew. Even after a long shower he seemed slimy. He'd shaved his own head, cutting into his scalp, and the cuts refused to scar over properly. Not being able to see him, his sunken eyes and wafer thin skin, was a blessing.

"Well?" Jona asked.

"It was Hux again. He's determined."

Jona growled. "We are not leaving this city, Lilac. I need you to stop letting him find you."

Lilac didn't want to stop. She didn't know what she wanted from Hux, but she wanted to be open to the possibilities.

"We have to kill them." Jona said, under his breath. Lilac's blood ran cold. He meant it. He'd said it before, but it wasn't until that moment that she really understood that the time had come. The ultimatum had presented itself. They'd found her, and even Jona couldn't keep the eyes of those two off of her. They couldn't run, or hide, for much longer. The confrontation had to happen, one way or another.

"I don't..." Lilac swallowed. "I don't want to kill either of them."

The nest went silent, and so did the city seem to be silent. Lilac's ears were ringing, prepared to pick up the slightest response from her mentor. After a long, frightfully long, moment his hand found her bare upper arm. His nails dug in, dragging along her skin, barely stopping himself from drawing blood.

Lilac held her breath, biting her lip to keep herself quiet. He was a violent man, and she knew he would lash out. But she had to say something. Her arm stung from his jagged nails. He rested his hand at her elbow, claws still threatening to break into her skin.

"You will do as I say, Lilac. If I say you'll kill them, you will kill them. General Hux. Kylo Ren. Anyone. At any time. As I've taught you."

That was exactly what he'd been teaching her from the beginning. Obey. Kill. Hide.

Lilac bowed her head, though he wouldn't see it. "Yes, Jona."


	33. Whos Killing Whom Here

_/AN/  
I know it's been ages, but here's a long update. Instead of NaNoWriMo this year, I might just finish this up_  
 _FaeriePrince is my NaNoWriMo account, so you can see which I focus on more lmao  
(Im sorry I found out that I'd actually written most of this before my long break, and right now I don't want to go back to edit)_

* * *

Lilac laced up her shoes without a word or a thought. If there was a way for her to convince Jona that Kylo and Hux did not need to die, she wasn't going to let such plans get to her. A single thought was dangerous.

Disobey Jona? If he even suspected she thought about doing so, he would be furious. He would take her aside, scream in her face, and make several very valid arguments about why she has to do what he says. Lilac wanted to avoid being reasoned with.

Talking to Kylo and Hux was out of the question. Lilac didn't want to hear their voices. Her throat closed up just imagining them opening their mouths. There was nothing left to say to them. She loved them, they abandoned her, she had to kill them. Somehow, all of that came together. Somehow, it all made sense. Somehow, she convinced herself to want it all to make sense.

Lilac had spent so much time with Hux that he was there whenever she closed her eyes. She had such a strong connection with Kylo, that she imagined she could feel him from across the galaxy. She loved them. Both of them. There were so many swirling emotions tangling her with the two men that she felt like a tree being strangled by roses.

Jona was a drought, killing them all, with the instinctual knowledge that the roses would be long gone before the tree suffered. What does a drought really know, though?

Lilac stood herself in front of a wall length mirror, just inside her apartment's entryway. The only colour in the reflection seemed to be her unnaturally coloured hair, braided and pinned along the sides of her head. Her brown skin was pale, missing the healthy glow she'd gained from being on her own. Her chest ached at the sight of her bare, strong arms. She would be stick-thin if she were still a slave, and even as a First Order apprentice she wouldn't have the same definition in her muscles. Jona worked her non-stop to make her a killer. She appreciated his loyalty, his devotion, his whippings.

But her training under the First Order had taken far better care of her health. If her muscles had been torn and not healed after a long rest, there was a very generous massage waiting for her. With Jona, there was just...another steam room. The apartment complex had the perfect boiler to remind her of her punishments as a slave, and Jona persuaded her that it was to sweat out toxins and relax her muscles. It did. It also made her compliant. Steam burns and dehydration did that to a victim.

No, not a victim. Thinking about being a victim made Lilac think about Jona and think about Jona's words, "You're only a victim if you think I'm victimizing you. Do you think I'm victimizing you?" Of course he couldn't be victimizing her. He was helping her. He was her ally and her master.

Lilac breathed deeply.

She didn't have any knives or poisons with her. She planned the murder of the two men she loved very meticulously, but threw away every easy strike. As impersonal as she wanted to be, she knew she couldn't just shoot them and get it over with. Killing Kylo and Hux was set to be the most monumental moment of her life.

Lilac walked out her door into the neon lighting from a dozen different signs across from her. Every window in the building had to be blacked out because of the neon obsession in the metal city. There were plenty of shadows, which Lilac slipped through with a grave familiarity, intermittent with blinding light, which Lilac glared through. The buildings were so tall and packed that they blocked the sun from the streets, and anyone born and raised there had a high chance of thinking neon was the only light in the galaxy.

Kylo and Hux frequented a little diner where no one asked questions and everyone was on the run from something. Lilac didn't have to travel far to reach it and see them arguing over their soup bowls.

Lilac watched them for a long while. Kylo was so handsome. She ached, the memory of her hands tracing along his jaw and running through his soft hair was so delicious it left her longing. Seeing Hux's face twist in anger was such a sweet sight; she knew that he cared about Kylo more than he would ever admit.

She could have poisoned that soup, and left them to die. She could have hired someone to strangle them in their sleep the night before. She could have done any damn thing to distance herself from them. Instead, she waited across the narrow street in plain view, a golden arch above her head bathing everything in its light.

"Look at me." She instructed under her breath, feeling the words on the wind reach out to the men. She repeated in her mind, in her very being, that she had control over those words, and that those words would take control of her targets. Hux looked at her, directly at her, and gave such a look that Kylo went rigid. They said a few words to each other, then stood in unison. The next time Hux's eyes met hers, she turned and walked through one of many dark alleys.

She didn't need to look back for proof that they followed. They always followed.

There was no 'quiet' part of the city. The quietest parts had a horrible static that never changed rhythm or paused. It hummed in Lilac's very skull as she led the men to her favourite spot in the city—a street so brightly lit and colourful that her eyes burned even when looking at the ground.

"Lilac!" Kylo yelled, his voice cracking, desperate for her attention. Lilac stopped.

"There is so much that has changed-" Hux started to explain, hopeful. They were finally going to talk. She was finally going to hear them.

Lilac bent down. The bright street was the only one that hadn't yet been either torn down or upgraded with safer wiring. Beneath her feet, broken open, was a control box set into the concrete. She flicked two switches, and the street exploded into sparks. Someone screamed nearby, but the street was empty besides the three.

Kylo and Hux tried to shield themselves from the sparks, ducking low with their arms over their heads. It was no use, and the sparks kept falling. Sparks that hit their faces burnt them, though not severely. If they stayed for long, their clothes would ignite and the flames wouldn't stop until their bodies were consumed.

Lilac straightened up then turned around. The street wasn't their death. She looked at them, as they feared the sparks, then at her own arms as electricity seemed to bounce off of the skin. Purple, red, green, blue. The three of them were inside an elaborate fireworks display.

Kylo looked at her. He knew the look in her eyes as well as she knew the look in his. He felt betrayed. The bastard who'd betrayed her looked at her as though she was the traitor. She looked at him with no thoughts but one: Jona said to kill them.

"Why?" Kylo begged her. The street was so loud, buzzing and crackling. Lilac stepped forwards.

Hux pulled Kylo back, but he resisted and they stared at each other for a single moment to argue about what to do. They decided to face her fully.

Lilac pushed them out of her mind. They were just targets. They just had to die. She just had to kill them. There was no more to it. Jona wanted them dead. She killed who he named.

Lilac walked slowly, and neither of the men moved until she was ten feet away. Hux pulled out a gun, aiming it at her midsection. "Do not come any closer. Speak."

Lilac stopped. Her ears rung. Her heart raced. Her body ached. "I have to kill you. Both of you." She said it quietly at first, then repeated louder.

Kylo sneered, "You have a new owner, I presume?" His face was so angry but his eyes leaked despondent tears. "Come with us and let us explain, Lilac!"

"We love you!" Hux added. His words triggered Lilac's emotions and they flooded out. She pressed a hand to her chest and screamed at them:

"You had me sent away! You love me? You never fought for me! You took Snoke's orders and said nothing about it—not to him, not to me. I fucking hate you both!"

Lilac leaped forwards and struck out at Hux. Instead of taking his shot at her, Hux leaned back in attempt to avoid her. Kylo stepped into the way of Lilac's anger with defensive actions. She wanted him to fight her, to break her, but he didn't even try.

Hux stood back and yelled over their grunts and shouts.

"We didn't know, dammit! Snoke sent you away before he told either of us that he'd made his decision! What do you think we've been doing, huh? We set out immediately to find you. We left the First Order, we sought out the fucking rebels! We did whatever we had to do to find you. And this is how we find you? Following orders to kills us? What went wrong, Lilac?"

"You fucking liar!" Lilac pushed past Kylo and towards Hux, her fist jetting out towards his jaw. Kylo took her arm and twisted before throwing her over his body and to the pavement. It was the most harm he'd actually done to her, even when he pinned her down with all of his weight on top of her. She spat at him, "You're both fucking liars!"

Kylo's clothes were burning, and so were Hux's. Kylo looked down at Lilac with a look she couldn't understand. He leaned in and spoke in her ear, "I love you, Lilac. Whatever you've done, whoever is controlling you, I need you to stop being so ridiculous. I love you and I am taking you home with me. You stupid girl, you have both of us twisted around your stupid little finger and I swear you're driving us mad."

Hux knelt down beside them. "Stand down, Lilac." His sleeve caught fire. "Let's go home."

Lilac looked between the two, wanting desperately to listen. Jona, always Jona, spoke from memories that she had to kill them. They were liars. They were murderers. They were no better than anyone else she killed. Snapped neck, strangulation, pressing her thumbs into their eyes... Lilac could do it. She had to do it.

The buildings were catching fire, throwing burning debris to the pavement around them. Lilac mustered her courage as the two looked at her, pleading with their eyes. "Kylo, Hux, you can either leave now and save yourselves, or stay here and burn."

"Burn." They said immediately.

"Idiots." Lilac shook her head, tears in her eyes. "I will kill you, you know."

Kylo smiled sadly, "Better you do it than anyone else."

Hux nodded. "Before that, we deserve an explanation. Kylo."

They pulled Lilac to her feet. She resisted their touch while they ran with her, but she didn't stop them. Kylo and Hux patted at their smoldering clothes, smoke rolling from their bodies. If Lilac hadn't prepared herself for the flames, she would be doing the same. She had coated herself in flame resistant spray, and had been expecting to stand above their burning bodies until they stopped wriggling.

Lilac shivered, suddenly unable to resist the discomfort at imagining the death of her targets. She stopped them far enough away from the flaming street, in a dark alley so narrow they nearly had to stand in a line. They hunched over, checking their clothes and catching their breath. The three looked at each other, confused.

Hux spoke first, "Who has told you to kill us?"

Kylo, "And who told you we abandoned you? We would never. I told you, I would never-"

"But you did!" Lilac wailed. "Guards rushed into my room on the finalizer, I fought them off, they sedated me, and I haven't seen or heard from either of you since. As a general, and as the leader of the Knights of Ren-"

"We left the First Order," Hux explained, "to find you. Against Snoke's orders-"

"Bullshit." Lilac spat. "You two would never leave Snoke. Even if you tried, you'd be killed. Or brainwashed further. Those bastards—your masters—wouldn't let you go. Definitely not to find me."

Kylo reached into his pockets, pulling out a badge emblazoned with the mark of the rebels. "My mother-"

"His mother is General Leia Organa." Hux finished, his eyes lighting up. He stepped forwards, taking her hands in his, ignoring her frown. "There is so much you've missed. We're rebels now. I'm an honorary part of the Organa-slash-Solo family. Everything that has happened can be proven by them. Just come with us!"

Lilac took her hands back and turned to Kylo. "They know about me?"

Kylo sized her up. "Obviously not everything. They know everything we know."

Lilac bit he lip. She'd never told them about Jona and his extra training. She never told them that she had become an avenger of sorts, freeing slaves and killing their owners. They wouldn't know that she'd collapsed entire markets built on slavery. Lilac looked at them in turn. "I'm a murderer now, the rebels won't want me with their prodigal son."

"Murderer?" Kylo's lips stretched slowly into a grin. "So am I. The rebels are too, when they need to be. They just have different ways to exhaust first options."

Hux gave Kylo a warning glance. "We can discuss who we've all murdered and why later. We believe in you, Lilac. You had a reason. Of that, I am certain."

Lilac groaned. "Okay. I met Jona ages ago, on one of my first trips with you two, and I've been killing slave owners with him. I'm his apprentice now, and I do what he says. What he says is to kill you two."

They blinked. Kylo's smile faded, his eyes growing dark. "Jona? That bastard?"

Hux backed up, away from Kylo. "I was told he was taken far away and dropped in a volcano."

"Obviously not!" Kylo yelled. He growled at Lilac, "That man has it out for me. He threatened you. He is a scheming piece of shit, and you should have known better than to trust him."

Lilac straightened to her full height, which still had her straining her neck to look up at Kylo. "He has only made me stronger. Plus, when you weren't going to let me out to find those slavers, he led me to them. He has been my greatest ally."

"He's let you be reckless!"

"Yet here I am, still alive, and much better for it."

Kylo frowned. "Are you? You used to want to be free. Now you have Jona telling you what to do. You aren't free, Lilac, no matter what he says. Not while you're letting other people run your life. Jona. Those slavers. You would never have wanted that. Your parents-"  
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Lilac threw her hands in the air, "I don't even remember my parents. Don't bring them into this."

"They loved you." Kylo assured her.

Hux put his hand on her shoulder, making her look at him. "We found them. We found your home."

"I don't care-"

"Of course you don't." The three turned to see a hooded Jona in the alley, a large bladed weapon in his grip. "Your past doesn't matter. These assholes don't matter. What matters is the future of the galaxy and everyone in it. You've been saving lives, Lilac. Don't let them stop you."

Kylo and Hux pushed Lilac behind them, both with deadly glares. Neither thought they'd see him again. Kylo took hold of his lightsaber and held it up, while Hux pulled out a blaster with a steady hand.

"Tell us all you've been planning," Hux demanded. "Tell us what you've led Lilac to do."

Jona's lips, cracked and bloody, split into a smirk. The rest of his face was hidden in deep shadow. "Lilac. I haven't made her do anything she doesn't want to do. Have I, Lilac?"

Lilac said nothing, her head spinning.

"Now, girl," Jona continued, "why don't we finish what we've started?"

The words drifted through the air, laced with poisonous temptation. Lilac locked eyes with Jona. He was right. They started something, and they had to finish it. She had to finish it. If she hadn't been abducted and left to her own devices maybe Kylo and Hux wouldn't deserve to die at her hands. But there they were.

The dark alley seemed to get smaller and smaller as Jona lifted his weapon, aiming at his prey. "Time to pay for being the worst traitors in the galaxy. Flipping sides for a girl? Who could trust your words now? Not us. Right, Lilac?"

Kylo glanced back, in time to dodge an assault from the purple haired beauty. For a moment, he could only think of how improved her form was—then he narrowed his eyes at her clawing nails and the twisted grimace. "Li-"

She swung again, turning and kicking out at him, making contact with his chest. Kylo sheathed his lightsaber but had to push back, to keep from being forced closer to Jona, who was the bigger threat.

Hux aimed the blaster directly at Jona, ready to fire at a moments notice if the monster so much as twitched towards them.

Kylo ducked under a fist, throwing own of his own up at Lilac's elbow. She yelped, jumping back, holding her arm. He hadn't broken anything, but that arm wasn't going to bend the same for a few days.

"What-" Kylo started to ask, but Lilac persisted, a knuckle scraping across his brow. She didn't seem to hear him at all, instead only working harder to attack him. In her amber speckled eyes he saw only resignation.

Lilac forced Kylo towards Jona with a series of strikes., half of which making light contact Hux tried to stay between the pair and the true enemy, not moving his gaze off of Jona. "Kylo, you need to end this!"

"I'm, ugh, trying!" Kylo had no problems hurting Lilac, not really, but more than needing to end the fight, he needed her to want to stop. Whatever was going through her head was not her own intentions.

Kylo could feel Jona at his back, though still several feet away. The fight was only going to end one way.

"Hux!" Kylo yelled, "Shoot him, we don't need to take him alive."

Jona just grinned a sickening grin as Hux pulled the trigger. There was a flash. Jona's cloak went flying, but he was gone. In the dark of the alley, shadows concealed Jona's specific location. Hux turned, blaster pointing, trying to find him.

"Shit." Hux cursed. "Lost him."

Kylo spun, deflecting Lilac. "What do you mean lost?" His eyes darted around. He growled, hiking his elbow up into the face of his one true love. She stumbled back, grasping at her bleeding nose angrier than he'd ever seen. "That's enough. I love you. Come home."

He reached his hand out towards her, and reached out towards her mind. He didn't know what to expect. While Hux covered his back, Kylo had a tight metaphysical grip on Lilac. He realized, while her eyes stared wide-eyed at him, that there was more than one influence on her thoughts.

Kylo tried to force Jona's persuasive meddling out of her mind. Somehow, without being force-sensitive in the least, Jona had invaded Lilac's thoughts. Kylo couldn't get him out, so he put Lilac to sleep. She crumpled onto the concrete.

Kylo glanced at Hux, both of them trying to calm their heaving chests.

"Where did he go?" Kylo asked as he knelt next to Lilac. She had changed so much since he last saw her. There was no other way to say it; Jona had obviously done everything he could to corrupt her.

Hux stood above the two. "He's not going to go far. Did you see that? He's controlling her, right? This is not the Lilac we knew."

Kylo thought quickly, trying to link everything. "She was training with him while she trained with us. While I was away on missions, while you were busy with your duties, she would meet with him elsewhere and he would teach her how to kill. Fucking Jona knew what was happening all along and made certain she would end up away from us and right in his lap. Now he wants her to kill us, and she can't refuse because he's been tearing her mind apart and making what's left susceptible to his every whim."

Hux shook his head. "So what do we do?"

Kylo, fire in his eyes, looked at his partner. "We kill him."


	34. Hooded Figures Are The Worst

Hux and Kylo carried Lilac between them, an arm across each of their shoulders. Lilac's head hung low, loping back and forth as they hurried through the streets. Kylo kept his eyes between the alleys and the storefronts, ready for Jona to ambush them at any moment. In all respects, it made little sense that he had retreated at all. Did it have to do with Lilac being unconscious, thereby unable to follow through with his plot? If it did, Kylo had to make certain that Lilac wouldn't wake up before Jona was out of the picture entirely.

Hux's gaze jumped from frightened passerby to Lilac's nearly lifeless body. She was breathing, and hearing her soft catches of breath both calmed and angered him. She'd been made to attack them, through what must have been several finely conceived manipulations. She thought that Hux had abandoned her, or worse even had her thrown off the First Order ship on his orders. Jona preyed on those doubts. There was no doubt in Hux's mind that Jona deserved death, and that Lilac deserved time to understand what had truly been done to her.

The men didn't need to communicate out loud which turns to take. They kept to bright streets, storming straight through crowds, in the general direction of their hotel. They couldn't risk going to their ship, in case Jona had the brilliant idea to damage their one certain way off the planet.

Some of the locals appeared to want to rush to Lilac's aid, but seemed to think better of it. If any of them made a move, Kylo shoved them out of the way. Nothing, no one, was going to stop them.

Several times, Hux thought he saw the outline of someone above the line of buildings, but decided that it was no use imagining the horrors that stalked them. What he had to do was focus on the path ahead.

"We should call someone," Hux murmured. "We don't need the help, but we might as well get it."

"I'm not calling my mother to help me smuggle my girlfriend off a planet."

"Isn't that what we've already done?" Hux adjusted his grip on Lilac. "Besides that, she's not your girlfriend, is she? We apparently abandoned her."

"We did not," Kylo snapped. "We just weren't there when she was...taken."  
"And drugged. And dropped who the hell knows where. And it took us this long to even find her-"

"And here she is." Kylo narrowed his eyes. "What else matters?"

"Jona, for one. The murderer stalking us? Remember him? It seems like you don't."

Kylo didn't respond, and they continued their light jog through the city.

Until Jona ran out into the middle of a blue and orange flashing street, directly ahead of them. His hood was off, showing how truly devastating the effect of consuming rage had had on the young man. His skin was flaking and rotting off, all of his hair had long been scratched out of his deteriorating scalp.

Blood cracked lips, hollow creases, sunken eyes. Bruises, cuts, burns. Kylo and Hux couldn't count the ways Jona looked nothing like the confident charmer he was before he started to piss Kylo off.

"Hello," Jona rasped out. It was barely heard above the crowd. At the sight of him, people started to form a proper moving ring around the three men and their unconscious trophy. No one wanted to stop to ask questions or to intervene, but everyone wanted to give the possible battle a wide berth.

"Sup," Hux responded, alike how Jona used to say it with every greeting. Kylo focused him an annoyed look, but Hux was grinding his teeth.

Jona ignored the comment. "I hope you didn't think we were done."

Kylo wanted to yell and plead, but he stood firm with Lilac and Hux at his side. "You will lose," Kylo assured Jona. "You will lose, and we will not make it easy. You have never suffered before like I will make you suffer."

Jona started to laugh, a deep, maniacal, coughing laugh. The ring around them grew bigger, and the crowd rushing around them seemed to thin. "Are you fucking with me, Ren?" Jona pointed to himself, to his head. He swiftly removed his robe, and let his undershirt drop with it. His torso was much like his head: disgusting was the kind way

to say it. Boiling, bursting skin would look pleasant compared to his ashen, unnaturally greyed skin. The peeling, the blood and pus...

Hux stifled a gasping gag, but others weren't so lucky. A scream rang out in the street, queasy folk vomited directly into the path of others, and for the time being the small group of enemies just waited, as patiently as possible, as nearly all the crowd dispersed. Those that stayed hung around under the arches of stores, crossed arms and curious eyes. Veterans and mercenaries, they were more interested in the fight than whatever nasty fighters they had to look at.

Jona waved his arms wide at their street arena. "And so the stage is set. That alley really was a shit place to have our final confrontation, don't you think?"

Kylo heaved Lilac's weight onto Hux, who held her with one arm while the other pulled out his blaster. Kylo steadily reached for his lightsaber, his eyes trained on his adversary, as though he had all the time in the world. One good swing, Kylo thought. One good swing to kill one vile man.

Jona was thinking the same thing. His blade, as long as his arm and undoubtedly twice as heavy, appeared from a side street. Someone there, masked in shadow, lumbered into view. All around, it seemed cloaked figures shied into the street. At this, onlookers snickered.

"Nasty deal-making bastard." One said.

"This ain't fun no more." Another chided. She looked to Kylo, gaining his confused attention. "If you don't know, man, you better put on a good show. They sooner rip your soul up than let you bore 'em."

Hux laid Lilac down, his blaster fully pointed at Jona. He didn't know, nor did he care, what the audience was saying. Six figures surrounded them on all sides. Hux aimed square at Jona and, without any further hesitation, without waiting for word from Kylo, shot Jona in the chest.

Jona was flung back. He hit the hard concrete ground with a scraping sound that was more like bone against bone than skin against stone.

No one had time to celebrate. The small crowd laughed, hooded figures and otherwise. Then Jona laughed, and Hux's heart filled with dread. That one shot alone should have killed any man. Jona, clearly surprised himself, helped himself with trembling arms. His feet held steady, and a hand grasped at his chest. He pulled it away, covered in burnt flesh from the hole in his torso.

"Not quite bullet proof," Jona grinned lopsidedly, "but close enough. Want to try again?"

Hux didn't need any further encouragement, but Kylo held out a hand. "How many times-"

"As many as it takes." Hux fired several rounds. Once again, Jona stood up laughing, despite half of his jaw missing. There was near nothing left of his torso, and he'd lost an entire arm. Still, he held his blade and grinned.

"Done yet?"

Hux knew that his blaster couldn't fire anymore. The junk piece was closer to detonating in his hand than to doing any more damage to the mad man. "Just go down, Jona."

"Why don't you?" Jona seethed. He turned, not towards the two men that intended him harm, but to a hooded figure. Jona lopped off the head of one much easier than was possible. The other five screeched, but it was a strange chortling sound. They took steps to keep the ring even, then quieted.

Hux couldn't think of a better way to describe what he saw than to say that Jona regenerated. Just like that. The hooded figure collapsed, and by the time its head hit the ground Jona was complete again. His bodies state of decay progressed.

"I'm immortal," Jona howled. "I'm a god! You go down, Hux. You. Go. Down!" Jona pointed the end of his blade at Hux, the dancing blue and orange lights daring the ex-general to make a move.

Kylo, instead, took one step forwards.

The blade shifted to the dark haired man.

Kylo held out the lightsaber, the point just long enough to barely reach past the tip of Jona's weapon. "What have you done, Jona?" Kylo kept his voice low, but couldn't keep the accusation out of it. Evil was one thing; Kylo knew the effects a life of darkness could have on someone. Whatever Jona was a part of had twisted him entirely into something newer, more evil than even the First Order could stomach.

Jona poked at the singed flesh that he was covered in. He was delighted, mystified. "This has been the greatest day of my life. Can't you tell?"

"If you get a window," Kylo muttered to Hux, "You take Lilac and run. I know you'll have no trouble leaving me behind, so don't even pretend to give a shit."

Hux looked at him, fully. "Kylo..."

He wanted to say something sarcastic, but couldn't bring himself to. Truly, Jona was about to kill them both. If all he had to do to regenerate from devastating wounds was to turn his blade on the hooded figures, then what were they to do? They didn't know how it worked, or even why it was something granted to Jona. The impossibility of the situation was crushing.

Hux put a hand on Kylo's shoulder. "Those who share a love, also share a battle," he quoted, though he couldn't recall where he'd learnt it. "You and me. Let's kick his ass."

Hux took a guess, and shot past Kylo, at a hooded figure. It burst open, then crumbled as Jona screamed in frustration.

Kylo smirked. "I guess we're not out of tricks yet. Just keep pissing him off."

"Will do," Hux agreed, taking aim again. Jona swung his sword in a wide arc, nearly cutting the two in half. Hux covered Lilac's body, while Kylo ducked and charged towards their assailant.

Hux could only watch on as Kylo fought Jona. The two lashed out in powerful waves, each looking for a weakness in the others' defenses, but unable to cover their own in the meantime. Hux kept his primary focus on not getting hit by either combatant, and keeping Lilac safe was second. His third focus sat with trying to aim past the constantly moving battle at the figures surrounding them.

Hux tried to fire off his weapon, but the blaster crackled and sparked in his hand, singing his gloves. He dropped the weapon to the ground, looking back to the fight in time to jump back from one of Jona's attacks. There were four figures, and even though Hux wasn't sure what good it would do to kill them, he just didn't want Jona to use them to regenerate.

Kylo struck a blow across Jona's chest. Jona staggered backwards, and Kylo pressed towards him with a flurry of swings. In the onslaught, Jona managed to off one of the figures, and return Kylo's attacks with a newfound strength. Kylo was breathing hard, his steps slowing. The more energy he expended, the closer Jona's blade was to cutting through Kylo's flesh.

Hux thought for only a moment about taking his hands to the figures. He didn't know what was under those hoods, or even if he would have enough time to kill them barehanded. He stepped towards the duel, keeping his head low.

Hux tried not to stare at Kylo. It was almost beautiful, he thought, how determined Kylo was. The strength of Ren was never just in his lightsaber skills; it was in his unrelenting will to fight, and his powerful focus. Kylo was a deadly enemy to have, and an incredible ally. Hux knew, grabbing for Kylo's hidden knife, that Kylo was aware of everything in that street. Kylo saw the onlookers, the figures, Lilac, Hux, Jona, the lights, each crack in the street, each brick around them, every drop of sweat from his brow. Hux considered himself highly intelligent and observational, but he could admit (only to himself) that Kylo was on an entirely different level.

Jona blocked Kylo one way, sidestepped another, and kicked Hux in the face. Hux fell back with a heavy grunt as Jona laughed cruelly. Kylo quickly took up Jona's attention once more, allowing Hux to slip away towards one of the last three figures.

Hux's head swam, his face tingling and dripping with blood. His broken nose was trying its utmost to get attention, but Hux surged onwards to stab the figure. One, two, three. Blood that turned to dust spurt from holes as the figure shrieked. Hux was keenly aware that Jona was shrieking too and trying to get to Hux.

Hux grinned as the two figures started circling. Onlookers were all but cheering; excitement lit their faces as they watched the street fight.

Jona started to slow again, body sagging under the weight of his injuries. The rot making up most of his body was starting to ooze pus, dripping to the ground to pool with sweat and blood. The smell was horrible, but the image of a rabid, oozing, unsealing scar was worse. Hux could barely look at the man-if Jona still counted as one.

The figures were practically dancing as they circled the scene, hollers leaking out from under their hoods. They were enjoying the battle, even as they were being cut down one by one.

Jona found an opportunity between blocks to swing at a figure, but he missed and it served to make him more desperate. He turned his back on Kylo for a moment to take out a figure, only for Kylo to take the chance to impale Jona with the lightsaber. The effect was that while Jona regenerated and strengthened, the hole in his torso stayed. Kylo couldn't do anything but pull the weapon straight out.

One last figure.

Jona noticed Hux eyeing it and turned his rage to the ex-general. Kylo tried to hold off the grotesque fighter, but was forced back.

The figure stopped, nearest Hux, opening its arms wide. It welcomed whoever brought about its death.

Hux, heart pounding, palms sweating, dashed towards the figure, knife at the ready. As the tip of the blade pressed to the area Hux hope its heart was, he heard a whistle and stopped.

Hux whipped around, with the figure in his grasp, blade at its neck.

Jona grinned. "Your choice, Hux."

Lilac blinked awake, an arm around her neck keeping her raised. Jona's blade hung in front of her, crossing her body like the bow of a violin. She saw Hux and a tear slipped from her eye.


	35. What Makes A Believer

**_/AN/ A couple of shorter chapters are coming up next. Nearly at the end, I think. Thanks for reading_**

* * *

"I'm going to save you." Hux gasped, choked for breath. He couldn't take his eyes off of Lilac and Jona. The knife in his hand was heavy, as though it were the blade threatening the love of his life. He held the knife as steady as he could.

Onlookers booed, "Dirty!"

"Get back to killing each other!"

"Standoffs are stupid!"

Jona sighed, "This is not a show, you idiots.

Kylo put his lightsaber away, lifting his gloved hands into the air in surrender. He circled carefully around Jona, leaving a wide berth, to stand between the two living shields and their captors. "Jona, you know how this ends. If you drop her, and leave right now, we won't chase you. You can live another day."

Hux scowled, but said nothing.

Jona smiled, nuzzling his rotting skin against Lilac's smooth hair. "What do you want, girl? Do you want me to drop you and disappear forever?"

Lilac stayed silent, her gaze empty. Kylo carefully reached a hand out to her.

"Lilac..." He searched her face, her eyes, her scar, for something to say that would matter to her; something that would erase all the time they spent apart. His mind journeyed to their first meeting.

"I didn't know," Kylo told her softly. "I didn't know that you had been fighting your entire life. I thought you were just a new slave girl that hadn't yet learnt her place."

Lilac's eye twitched, irritating her scar.

Kylo continued "I warned you that night about what was safe for you. I warned you to do whatever they told you. Lilac, I will never forgive myself for what I said. I was wrong. You will never stop fighting, no matter what anyone says, and I know now that you will always win."

Something in Lilac's eyes sparked to life, and she focused on Kylo.

Jona retched. "You disgust me. You think she'll always win? Then why don't you face her properly." He whispered in Lilac's ear to do what he trained her for, and then he let her go.

Hux was confused, but believed in Kylo enough to hold his position. He held the hooded figure still as they watched.

Lilac swayed on her feet, reaching for her aching head.

Kylo kept his hand out, begging her to take it. "You always knew how strong you could be. I didn't believe it at first, and I don't think anyone else did, either. But now, Lilac." He smiled, trying to keep the sadness from his voice. "Now no one can doubt you again. You've won. You can be free now."

"I doubted it, too." Lilac said softly. Her voice was raspy and pained. "You took me onto your ship and you patched me up and-" She hesitated. Her entire life was filled with blood, but remembering her own suicide attempt was more painful than anything else. "If I'd died then, you would never have believed in me."

Kylo's breath caught in his throat. "That's not true."

Lilac took a shaky step forwards. "Then when did you start, exactly?"

Jona flexed his curling fingers, readying himself to pull her back.

"When I first imagined your cold, dead body in my arms," Kylo admitted quietly. "Right before I ordered for my team to storm the club you were a slave at. I imagined your blood in my hands, and it was so real to me, Lilac...

"In that moment," Kylo took a step forwards, his hand nearly touching her, "I knew I would never be the same without you. I knew the galaxy would never be the same. I knew that the Universe needed you, Lilac," Kylo grasped her arm, "and so do I."

Lilac stepped into his embrace, breathing in his scent and exhaling every doubt she had of his feelings. Nothing was simple, she reminded herself. Not anymore.

"I'm so sorry," Lilac whimpered. "I thought you left me."

Kylo smoothed her hair back, "I know. I didn't. I wouldn't." He cradled her in his arms, content with the Universe once again. As long as he had her, nothing could hurt him.

Hux cleared his throat, "So, what do I do with this one?"

Kylo turned to look at Hux, one arm still around Lilac. He grinned, his eyes brimming with tears, "Whatever that thing is, just kill it so it can't help monsters like Jona ever again."

Hux was all too happy to end the life of the creature in his arms. Jona screamed, and every eye in the street looked to him as he crumbled to the ground in agony. He shrieked until his voice gave way, which didn't take long thanks to his collapsing throat. The rot was too much for him. Eyes started to turn away, even eyes of the most seasoned veterans.

Then he started to laugh. It was a sickly, blood spitting laugh. He had barely any skin to speak of when he said his final words, "I couldn't have planned this any better."

Kylo frowned, about to tell the pile of trash where he could stick his plans.

Hux yelled out a curse, running towards his friends.

Kylo felt pain for only a moment as a hole opened in his gut. The receding lightsaber was held tenderly in Lilac's hands. "Why?" Kylo mouthed, unable to speak.

Lilac's body shook so hard that she had to shut off the lightsaber for her own safety. She watched, tears drying on her cheeks, as Hux caught Kylo from falling to the ground. "Because he told me to."


	36. Time

/AN/ okay the first time I posted this it came out in script and I don't know what I did so I hope it's fixed now!

* * *

It was like a clip show, the hours after Lilac killed Kylo. Hux called for the Resistance to help, and they answered. Kylo was taken away by medics, while Lilac was escorted by soldiers with hands firmly on their weapons. She was examined, both body and mind, then sat at a table in the Resistance ship mess hall.

Lilac could barely move on her own. She didn't speak, and she didn't listen to anyone. Even Hux, who shook her and yelled at her, was met with a cold shoulder. A meal prepared for her sat uneaten.

There were no excuses thrown around about why the one Kylo searched for had ended up trying to kill him. The fact that she'd done it with his own lightsaber AFTER he'd technically saved her, spread like wildfire through Resistance ranks. Anyone who looked at her did so with disgust.

Lilac was disgusted with herself, also. She wanted to say that there was something wrong with her. She wanted there to be proof of everything she had been through, and everything Jona had convinced her of. All there was, was her. Lilac was the villain, and Kylo the victim. Somehow, she didn't regret what she'd done. Somehow, she still knew in her heart that even though he loved her, he had abandoned her. They both had.

Hux sat across from Lilac, sliding her food tray over to himself and taking her apple. "He's alive, you know."

It was the first thing Lilac truly heard since she thought she'd killed Kylo. She perked up, leaning over the table to hear better. "B-but I- Where I stabbed him should have been fatal."

Hux glared at the apple in his hands. "You didn't have to do it."

Lilac clamped her mouth shut. She did have to do it. She had to kill Kylo. She had to at least try.

Lilac shook her head, "I did."

"You think you did." Hux rolled the apple in his hands. "Jona made you think that. This wasn't your fault, but you're still guilty. You're still an enemy of the Resistance for that one stupid thing you did."

"But he's alive?"

"Want to finish the job?" Hux looked up at her, his eyes full of anger and accusations.

Lilac wasn't sure. She'd been certain that she killed him, and that had been enough. Why wasn't it enough anymore? "I need...time...to think."

Hux slammed the apple on the table, exploding the fruit in their faces. "Why the fuck didn't you think before you stabbed him? That was the time to think!"

Lilac blinked, wiping juice from her face. She stared with hard eyes at Hux, "I did my thinking. Months of it. Alone. Before and after Jona found me. When I was certain you had me thrown off the Finalizer, drugged and half dressed. I was angry, and scared. I'm sorry, Hux, but I don't have answers. But if you keep talking to me like this I promise you you're just going to piss me off. I know what I did. Just give me some time, alright?"

Hux huffed and puffed. "Kylo almost died. What would you have done then?"

"Well, I wouldn't want to live," Lilac answered honestly, shocking Hux. She nodded, knowing in her heart that it was true. "I've done a lot in this life. Killing slave traders? I made assholes like Gam rethink their business ventures. That's all I set out to do. I lived for Kylo. So, why not die with him?"

Hux's world, and his heart, shattered. He tried to remain composed, but his anger slipped away. "All for him?"

Lilac shrugged.

"It hasn't just been Kylo searching for you this entire time. I've been here. I love you." His tone was begging, pleading for her to understand his strife and his desperation.

Lilac, again, shrugged. She felt an ache in her chest. "Just give me some time," she begged softly, "to think about all of this. I don't know what's happened to me."

Hux stood up, "Take all the time you need."

"Hux-" Lilac started to say. Hux held a hand up to stop her.

"His first words, when he could speak again, were to make certain you weren't left alone. That you were kept safe." Hux shook his head, turning away.

Lilac watched him go, her breathing coming in soft gasps. She wanted to cry, but she didn't feel like she deserved to. How could she be in pain? Kylo was the one in pain. Hux, obviously, was in pain. She'd done that to them. She was a monster.

Lilac pressed her forehead to the cool table, covering her head with her arms. Whatever the Resistance did to her, she deserved it.


	37. Forgiveness

Kylo wiped at the excess bacta dripping from his skin. He hadn't given the medicine time to heal him entirely, so he hid himself from anyone who knew he wasn't supposed to be out of bed rest. When he was mostly dried, he threw on the nearest clothes—simple grey shorts and wrapped top, loose and made of thin fabric—before creeping his way through the Resistance ship towards prison quarters. His footsteps were light, his head bowed. Anyone he crossed nodded their acknowledgement but said nothing.

The guards outside the bars of her cell stood solid, unyielding. They faded into nothing in Kylo's sight when he saw Lilac. His heart swelled with joy, even as she lay crying on a bare steel bench.

General Organa had allowed the cell to remain unlocked for Lilac-and her frequent visitor, Hux—to come and go as she pleased (though Lilac remained under watch at all times). From what Kylo had heard, Lilac didn't move much on her own; if she didn't have to leave the bench, she'd stay sobbing all day. She didn't look up when someone entered, and Kylo guessed she was expecting another meal she intended to ignore.

Kylo sat on the edge of the bench next to her hip. For a long moment he just watched her body wrack with quiet sobs. Then he sat his hand on her shoulder, and she stilled immediately.

"Hux?" She croaked out, voice raw with emotion.

"No," Kylo told her softly, "not this time."

Lilac sat up, her wide eyes brimmed red, and stared at him. "Kylo? You're okay?" She looked him over, piece by piece, searching for something, anything, that might be wrong. "You're okay." She repeated, answering herself.

Kylo raised a hand to her face, cupping her cheek. "I'm okay." He gazed into her eyes, so alive and soulful. He grazed her lips with his thumb, mesmerized. The last time he'd seen her, if he'd known any of what was to pass, he would have sat with her like that, remembering every detail about the woman he loved.

This woman, this version of Lilac, was hard as stone and cold to the touch. She had bruises all over her skin, and light burns along her cheeks. Her scars, along her head and along her wrists, were raised and irritated. There were others, small and healing, that Kylo knew were not there before.

"Your hair has grown," Kylo muttered. The purple locks fell below her shoulders, straight and silken.

Several tears dropped from Lilac's eyes before she spoke, "I'm so sorry."

Kylo shushed her, pulling her against his chest. He pet her hair and rocked her back and forth as she shook. "I know, Lilac. I know you are. And I know you were forced into it."

Lilac pulled back suddenly, her hands keeping him away, "What?"

"Jona. You said he told you to. I felt his influence in your mind." Kylo grimaced. "That worm burrowed into your thoughts and made you believe you wanted what he wanted. He fed off your anger and your desire to make slave traders pay for what they did, and he made you train for that purpose until you bled for it."

"But I wanted-"

"When you were willing to do whatever he said," Kylo continued without pause, "he made you want to kill me."

"I did kill you-"

Kylo took her face in both of his hands, and she was unable to stop him as he forced his lips against hers. Kylo kept his face close to hers as he spoke, "I forgive you."

Lilac closed her eyes, melting against him. "You can't. You can't ever forgive me. I might do it again."

Kylo held her in his arms while his mind continued to reach out and search hers. Jona was still there, in patches, like a disease or a fungus that could only ever be reduced but never fully eliminated. "You're safe now, Lilac. I am safe with you."

He didn't want to tell her what he really thought, which was that Jona's influence, somehow, would never leave her. One day she could wake and have the urge to stab Kylo several times with a toothbrush, and it would not surprise him one bit. She didn't need to worry about that. He would do all the worrying for her.

Lilac clung to him. "I killed you, Kylo, you can't forgive me for that."

"I'm alive." Kylo assured her.

They sat together for a long while, silently feeling their hearts heal in each others presence. They ached and mourned the time they lost. Quietly, Lilac resolved to give in to him. He was a smart man, and a strong man. Lilac loved him so, so much.

All the time Lilac was alone, she wished and prayed that some day something would change so that she could be with him again. Lilac would do anything to be safe and happy with Kylo again, and she'd needed a reason to have a chance at that. Having his forgiveness, having his love and attention after everything she'd done, was reason enough to think that they could go back to normal.

Lilac stood up, brushing hair away from her face. Kylo stayed seated, adjusting his tear stained top. Lilac looked back at him before starting to pace.

"Kylo, you know, I haven't had a day of rest since I...left the Finalizer. I was running and fighting and trying to find myself. I think I know, now, who I am and what I want. The problem is that you didn't find me like that. You found me in an alley trying to kill you and Hux because that's who I became, instead of who I tried to be. I know I'm rambling, but you have to know that I'm not just one person. I haven't been, and I don't think I can be."

"Then who are you?" Kylo asked patiently, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands folded together.

Lilac faced him, drawing herself up to her full height. "I never knew love while I was a slave. I think...I think I understand it now, and I want it. I want love. With you, and with...Hux."

Kylo didn't so much as blink, understanding that there was something between them. He'd come to accept it, since seeing how far Hux would go to protect her. There was no easy answer, but Kylo wasn't against having that conversation. "Go on."

Lilac nodded. "Okay, great. But I've tried to kill you both, and very nearly succeeded. That's a problem. For me, and for the Resistance that you're apparently a part of now, and it should be a problem for you."

"Many people have tried to kill me before. I have even tried to kill many people that are now invaluable to me. Hux included."

"Your mother thinks differently. Right?"

Kylo looked down at his hands. "Right. Everyone here has proven themselves. Taking down slave markets is one thing, but she has the belief that you did it for the wrong reasons."

"Revenge?"

Kylo nodded.

Lilac laughed bitterly. "Revenge is a bad reason? You've taken revenge. Hux has. I've heard lots of stories about your mother, and all the big wigs in the Resistance. Revenge is a great motivator. It gets shit done."

Kylo stood up, taking her in his arms. "I know that. The Resistance has better ways."

Lilac looked away, holding in a laugh. "I never could have imagined you saying that."

"I'm saying it now." Kylo gripped her chin, turning her face to look into his eyes. "I'm serious, Lilac. I have seen the plans. I've spoken to the leaders. The Resistance is better. You'll learn that."

"And if I don't?"

"Then," Kylo kissed her gently, "we will have a very long conversation about you going on to live a very uneventful life away from these battles and these people."

"So I either fight for the cause or I don't fight at all?"

"Pretty much."

Lilac considered it. If she tried to join the Resistance, she could potentially do a lot of good with them. That's what she thought with the First Order, though. They seemed almost interchangeable, as long as she could fight the battles she was passionate about. "And what if I fight for you?"

Kylo tilted his head, thinking about it.

Lilac smiled. "Yeah. I was going to be by your side when you were with the First Order. I can be by your side now. I just don't think...No, I know I don't belong with the Resistance. Not in any official capacity. I'm not like them. I don't give a shit about a galactic war. I give a shit about the people in the gutter with no better way to survive than to sell their bodies. The Resistance doesn't have a slave rescue task force, does it?"

"Not that I know of," Kylo hummed. "We could start one."

"And divert resources away from the galactic war?" Lilac huffed dramatically. "No way."

Kylo frowned. "I'm sorry."

Lilac shook her head at him, "Don't be. Don't ever be. I'm the one that's sorry. I'll follow you anywhere, Kylo, I just need to know that you won't let me get away with being a bitch again."

They searched each others' eyes for a long moment. Kylo already forgave her. He trusted her. There was no question in his mind that she belonged at his side. Resistance or not, they could be together.

"I think," Kylo smiled gently, "it's time for you to meet my parents."

"Kylo-" Lilac warned.

"Just let me take care of everything. We'll sit for dinner, and they'll love you. We can figure everything out later."

Lilac wasn't so sure that it was a good idea. "Aren't I an enemy of the Resistance?"

"We're being cautious with the woman that's torn down entire slave markets and attacked one of our own. Two, actually. Hux."

"Hux." Lilac nodded. "I attacked two Resistance members. I feel like- Like I might do it again. I don't want to, exactly. There's just..." She made a clawing motion at her head, unable to find the words.

"You've been starving yourself. Barely sleeping. You need to rest. You'll feel better, I promise." Kylo took her hand and kissed it.

"If I'm so unwell, maybe dinner should wait."

"Agreed. Until then, you will stay with me."

Lilac glanced at the guards. "And them?"

"You will remain under watch. Just ignore them."

"If I can..." Lilac rested her head against Kylo's shoulder. "I love you, Kylo. Why can't things just be simple?"

Kylo rubbed her back in slow circles. He couldn't answer her in any reassuring way, so he kept his mouth shut. There was little he could do to make their lives simpler. All he could do was to keep their love alive and protect Lilac with everything he had. Kylo prayed it would be enough.


	38. You Have An Army I AM An Army

Lilac wore a simple blue dress to her dinner with the Solo/Organa family. Hux told her that blue was a calming, welcoming colour, so she wore a similar shade of blue as a head scarf to keep attention from her largest scar. Her sleeves covered the other scars she was embarrassed of, and she continuously reminded herself not to roll them up as she picked at her salad.

Hux, seeming to be as much of a son to Leia and Han as Kylo, kept polite conversation with their hosts. He sat to Lilac's right, and his hand rested on her knee. His reassurance was very much appreciated.

Kylo, sitting to Lilac's left, had an arm over the back of her chair. His eyes were all but glued to her as they sat with his parents. The round table was set with just five plates and five goblets; it was the first time Lilac had been anywhere without any guards watching her.

The introduction had gone well enough; at least no one had thrown anything. Lilac was polite, but it was obvious that she was nervous. Scared, even, by the way her fingers shook as she delicately ate small amounts of what was in front of her. Her appetite was non-existent in the presence of such prominent figures (who were also her boyfriend's parents).

Everyone ate around conversation, though Lilac tried her best not to get too involved when anything serious came up. She wanted to have a nice dinner. She wanted to make a good impression.

"What's the plan?" Leia asked casually once her plate was bare. The others were close to being finished, but Lilac hadn't touched more than her vegetables. Even the guilt of wasting food couldn't force her to eat.

"Plan, mother?" Kylo asked, hoping his mother only meant after-dinner.

Leia pointed between the three younger folk, particularly at Lilac.

"Oh," Kylo straightened in his chair. His body was so close to Lilac's that they shared their warmth, and the fire that lit their cheeks as they flushed.

Hux took initiative, "The plan that Kylo and I have is to continue working our hardest to serve the Resistance as we are needed. Our relationship with Lilac will also continue to be a priority." Hux took a moment to mirror Lilac's soft smile. "Our wish is to make a home with her."

Han raised his glass, "Good plan."

Leia shot an annoyed look at her husband, "It is a good plan, absolutely, but it does not give me any confidence in any of your futures. Lilac, what would you do all day by yourself? We cannot knowingly let a rogue murderer out into the galaxy unsupervised."

Lilac looked down at her hands, clasping them together. "It's important work, General Organa. I've been...convinced that I didn't go about it the right way, but I still maintain the position that something had to be done. Something still has to be done."

"Agreed. Not by you." Leia snapped her fingers, drawing everyone's attention to her fully. "You have done your time, Lilac. Some of us can never leave this fight," Leia took her husband's hand, "but you have the chance. I insist you find meaningful work elsewhere."

"This is my fight. I'm making a name for myself as a freer of slaves everywhere. That's important to me. More important than anything!" Lilac looked between her two men. "Well, almost anything. A close second. Very close. If Kylo hadn't given me the chance to break free I wouldn't have any worth besides how obedient or fresh I am.

"All I want to do is give the same chance to others. To little girls like me who dreamed of a life far away from beatings and rape. To the boys who are told any man would be lucky to have so much casual sex—let alone be paid for it. It's fucking sick, General Organa. I won't stand for it. And I won't stand down unless I know something is being done."

Kylo's parents watched her silently, neither with any expression betraying their thoughts.

"Lilac is a very passionate woman," Hux beamed. His pride in her was boundless.

Kylo seconded, "She is, indeed." He looked to his parents with a calm mask. He and Hux had discussed what to do if Leia and Lilac started to argue—about anything—and the decision had been made to mostly stay out of their way. They had to learn to get along one way or another. Kylo wished a confrontation wouldn't be necessary.

Lilac, sensing the tenseness in the room, once again looked down at her hands. "General, I only mean to be honest with you. I love your son. I love Hux. But...Nothing will stop me from fighting for what I believe in. Love, freedom, anything. I won't stop. I can't." She pressed her hands to her chest, trying to express how deeply her emotions ran. "I know I can't keep doing what I did with Jona-"

Lilac stopped herself. She took a deep breath, allowing time for the room to settle.

"I know I was wrong to go about it the way I did. I was not wrong for doing something to help those people."

Han leaned over the table, "Lilac, you have our blessing concerning-" he waved his hand at the three youngsters, "-this. The rest of it is more complicated."

Leia kept her eyes on Lilac. "Very complicated. IF you want to be honest with me, then I suppose I owe you the same courtesy. Would the rest of you leave the room?" She said it as a question, but there was no disagreeing with her.

Kylo and Hux each squeezed one of Lilac's hands before they left. They shared a careful, uncertain expression with Han as the guards walked out of the room with them.

Lilac tried looking anywhere but at Leia, but the general stayed silent until Lilac finally looked at her.

"Lilac..." Leia started, more softly than anything else she'd said that night. "Your future is in my hands. That is a very serious responsibility that I do not take lightly. We can speak plainly, can't we?"

Lilac nodded. Polite conversation was over. "I didn't make a very good first impression, did I?"

Leia shrugged, "If you didn't, I'll forgive it. It's not every day my son brings home a girl. Especially one so...passionate about societal affairs. It's been...years, now." There was a slight edge to the voice of the general that Lilac tried not to read into. "All I need to know is what to do with you."

Lilac hummed nervously, "I need to do something-"

"You've made that very clear, Lilac."

"Right," Lilac shifted in her seat. "If I can't be out in the battlefield, then I need to be where I can still make a difference. Where I can manage what's being done. Where I can help your organization come up with solutions-"

"Even my delivery boys have more experience than you." Leia took a swig of her wine.

"Experience?" Lilac guffawed. "What experience do I need, exactly? I can take whatever is thrown at me. I've proven that. I've had years of putting up with anything and everything one person could want to do to another. I can hold my own, and I can persuade secrets from any perverts. Slaves make the best spies, afterall." Lilac fumed, her fists balled in her lap.

"We don't need spies." Leia countered calmly.

"Then what do you need? I've done it all. I could walk into any building like I owned the place, and take control of a situation from my knees. I can make conversation with businessmen, senators, and bums alike. I know how to please them, how to piss them off." Lilac removed the head scarf and rolled up her sleeves, thrusting her wrist scars in the older woman's face. "This is what my fellows have to show for it. This is what makes them trust me. Our shared connection.

"What do you see, Leia Organa? Do you see a woman in pain? Or do you see what everyone else sees; a woman that's sick in the head with no one to blame but herself? All people seem to think is that a pretty young thing like me can't have anything to complain about. If I was hurt, I must have done it to myself, and I must have deserved it. How does someone with scars like these ask someone like you for help?

"I still feel every scar, General. These ones," Lilac clutched at her chest, "and the ones no one sees. The ones no one will ever see, and no one will ever care about. Out of sight, out of mind. Right?"

"What does this have to do with-"

"Want to know something sad?" Lilac continued, unperturbed. "Sometimes, when Kylo or Hux touch me, I want to scream. I want to wriggle out of this skin and hide somewhere far away. Sometimes I see them approaching me and all I can think about are those other men that approached me. The ones that wanted to do whatever they could with my body.

"Sometimes I can't be convinced that Kylo or Hux could ever love me. They tell me they do, and they prove it every day just by being by my side, but some days it's just impossible to believe.

"Other men have given me flowers. I've been told that I am loved and cherished and that I could have anything I ever wanted if I just complied. Most of those men—those sick people—believed that if they treated me well, I could give them a discount or even the free quickie now and then. When they found out that my prices weren't set that way-" Lilac's voice broke.

Leia, hurt filling her eyes, opened and closed her mouth several times.

"A slave like me won't trust a woman like you." Lilac said, her words chopped with anger. "I don't mean that I don't trust you, General—I do, because I trust your son—but anyone else from my position then will not." Lilac knew that any experience Leia Organa had been through was not the same as growing up a slave. They would never understand each other.

Leia sat silently, red burning her own cheeks.

Lilac wiped at her eyes, imagining tears that weren't there. "I love Hux. I love Kylo. Love does not erase my past. Nothing ever will. The nightmares remain. The fears of every kindness being fake? The knowledge that any day I could be stolen back for the market? That's what remains. That's what will always remain.

"I am not a hollow person, even when I feel empty. I am full of horror, and suffering, and anger, and I will not go another day doing nothing about that. I will fight until the day I die, whether it be tomorrow or fifty years from now. I will live, and I will survive, only while I know that there is more to be done. I owe nothing less than that."

"Who do you owe?" Leia asked quietly, her shaking hands reaching for the wine glass once again.

"Slaves everywhere. Friends, rivals, people I've never met that have experienced everything that I have. There are children, Leia," Lilac pleaded. "Children being whored out on street corners. Children learning the crack of a whip before they learn that they are supposed to have names. And those children grow up only if they are allowed. It could be anyone that decides it for them. Their owners, masters, clients, fellow workers. Their own lives are never in their own hands.

"Fuck!" Lilac shouted suddenly, pushing her chair back as she stood up. She held her hands to her head as she paced. "How much do I have to fucking say? How hard do I have to push to make people like you believe that any of us are worth saving? That we need to take action? They deserve their freedom, Leia."

Lilac stopped, planting her hands on the table. Her anger was boiling over, even as she looked to the soft eyes of the general. Lilac forced herself to continue through the heat of her rage, "They deserve to make their own fates. I would even say they deserve revenge, but that-" She shook her head, "I've been taught better. They can be taught better."

"How?" Leia asked simply.

Lilac threw her arms in the air. "I can't think of that right now. I know that I have it figured out, but I can't think of it! Kylo knows it, Hux knows it. We have plans. Plans need action!"

Leia stood then walked slowly towards Lilac. Lilac flinched, but allowed the older woman to gently lead her back to the table. Leia took the seat next to Lilac, where Hux had been sitting. They sat quietly, not looking at each other, while Lilac caught her breath. It only grew more difficult as Lilac had to stop herself from hyperventilating. She'd gotten so worked up that it was hard to think.

Leia grabbed Lilac's glass of water and gave it to her. Lilac drank deeply, taking the time to figure out her next words.

"Leia..." Lilac placed the glass gently on the table, though her hands were trembling.

Leia took the young girls hands in her own. "Lilac, listen to me. You have a point. Of course you do. We can't just-"

"Why not?" Lilac choked out. "I know I'm a mess, and that I'm broken, blablabla." She rolled her eyes. She'd heard it all before, from all sorts of people. And she knew that no one thought of crying as a good negotiation tactic. "That doesn't mean that my words are any less true. Something has to be done. If not by you, then you can be damn sure that I'll be doing something on my own. This is not a problem that can be handled in a few years. This is happening now, and it's not going to stop, ever, unless we start now and make it end."

Leia nodded slowly. "I know. There will always be darkness in the galaxy. The only way to see the light is to create it ourselves."

"Flowery words, General."

"I won't make any promises." Leia looked down, turning Lilac's arms to see the scars. "Other than the promise that if you take so much as a single step out of line, I will lock you in solitary for the rest of your sad existence."

Lilac tried to pull her arms back, but Leia held strong.

"You think you're worth something, Lilac, but that's all in your head. Who are you? You're just a slave that tried to fight back. Who could you be? You could be a great woman, with an army at your back. If you learn the rules, and play by them."

Lilac's eyes widened. "I'm not interested in an army-"

"But there is so much you can do with a bit of power."

"You're crazy-"

"No. I'm realistic. We don't understand each other. We won't understand each other after just one evening of yelling and blaming. The only way to make any real difference is to have a movement. Rise up, and have others fight for you."

Lilac's vision flashed back to the first few times she spoke with Kylo. He had been strong and angry, just like his mother was being. He was persuasive, and harsh. He made Lilac hate him, and he made her care about him. But Leia wasn't a hot guy that, instead of fucking her like he paid for, tried to save her from herself.

Leia continued, "If you die in the field, who will continue your work? Your ideas, your ambitions, will all die with you. You have to be the force that drives people to do better. That's the only way that something fixed STAYS fixed. Do you understand?"

"Do I have a choice?" Lilac spoke softly, anger draining out of her. "Will I ever have a choice?"

"You have lots of choices. What to eat for breakfast. What to say to Kylo about our conversation. Where you call home..." Leia trailed off.

A shiver of fear went through Lilac. Then, her tears took over. "If this is supposed to be motivating, you're doing it wrong. I've done the solitary thing before. I know what that does to my mind. And I swear on all the stars that if you ever threaten me again, I will kill you." Lilac huffed and puffed as Leia's thumbs dug into her scars. "I don't care. I kill you, and someone kills me. I will not let someone like you order me around. Never again. You hear me, General Organa? Never. Again."

Leia's harsh gaze narrowed.

Lilac pushed herself to her feet, using all of her strength to take her hands back. She spat at Leia, "Fuck you. Fuck your army. Fuck your sideline bullshit. I take action. I save lives, and I take them, with my own damn hands."

Lilac turned on her heel and strode out of the room. When the guards looked at her, she pointed into the room. "Just ask your boss what I'll do if you fucking follow me."

Kylo and Hux turned to look at her from down the hall. Han hurried past them, and past Lilac.

Lilac didn't stop. She kept her eyes pointed forwards and stepped through the hallway. Her hands grabbed for Kylo and Hux as she walked, and they let her lead them. Kylo was hesitant, but he chose to follow along.

The door to Kylo and Hux's room—a closet with some mattresses—closed gently. Lilac sat heavily in a corner, her head over her knees as she caught her breath. She realized her arms were showing off the scars—freshly bruised—and she pushed her sleeves down.

"What happened?" Hux sat next to her, a hand on her back rubbing soft circles. Kylo sat in front of them, saying nothing.

Lilac sniffled, "I think I fucked up? But I don't regret it. Your mom," She said to Kylo, "is a bitch."

Kylo didn't have a response. Whatever happened, he needed both sides. Yes, Leia Organa could be a bitch. She had to be, sometimes. Sometimes, it was for the right reasons. Sometimes there was more behind it.

"I started raving about slave life and about how hard it is and how I'll never stop fighting."

"As you always do," Hux smiled at her. He was still so proud of Lilac's passion and ambition. He was proud of her for finding so much strength in her beliefs.

"Yeah." Lilac reached out to Kylo. He didn't move, so she let her hand fall on his knee. "She threatened me, and then she tried to convince me that I could run an army of people that would do whatever I said."

"She what?" Kylo blanched. Shit, he thought, mother was scheming something.

"I'm happy for you." Lilac smiled weakly. "Having your mother and father back in your life. You keep saying that you're glad you made that decision. I won't take that away from you, Kylo. Or you, Hux." She glanced his way. "But there is no way in hell I will ever be in the same room as that woman again. What does she think? That I'll be her underling? I'm not taking orders-not from her or anyone else. You know that. I refuse to ever be like that."

"We know," Hux hugged her, warm and tight. "We know, Lilac."

"My mother is a bitch," Kylo agreed.

Hux and Lilac looked at him, neither sure how to react.

Kylo shook his head. "I won't say that there was a misunderstanding, but I need you to wait, Lilac. I will speak with my mother. You are not going back to taking orders. Even if you thought it was for the best, I wouldn't let you. We wouldn't let you," he gestured at Hux. "Your freedom is important to us, too. Remember that."

Lilac nodded, fresh, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She had to laugh at herself, "I'm a fucking mess."

Kylo grinned, "Aren't we all?"

"Maybe you two are," Hux joked. He pulled Kylo in and the three of them held each other. Kylo and Hux pinched each other, for the sake of their old rivalry, but their feelings for Lilac overcame everything else. As it always did.

Tomorrow would be another day. Another awful, beautiful, lively, day. A day of freedom, and a day of love.

Lilac lay in the arms of the two men she loved, thanking the Universe for giving her a family to rely on. She had nightmares about fires and blood; she woke to snores and musk. If every day from then on was a disaster, Lilac reflected, she would be happy as long as she spent every night as she was.

Hux felt the same as he pulled her closer. Kylo concurred as he shifted closer, grabbing the blanket that they were supposed to be sharing.

 ** _/AN/_**

 ** _So, this is probably the end. I could keep going forever, but I think you get the point._**

 ** _Thank you for reading!!! I hope it was worth it._**

 ** _Follow me for more fics in the future. Message me with questions or just to say hi._**

 ** _I love you all. I sincerely do. Your views and comments and faves mean the world to me_**

 ** _xoxo_**


	39. Have A Little Faith

_/AN/_

 _Okay, I mean it this time, this is THE END. Thank you for following along. xoxox_

 _(also, canon, Holdo is Lilac's aunt. NO TAKE BACKS.)_

* * *

Lilac walked amongst old, forgotten husks of burnt out trees, her short hair flowing gently in the breeze. It had been two years since she left the Resistance base, and she never looked back. She made changes, and she refused to go back on any decision.

Her past began right where she trekked; in the home that she was taken from. Kylo had helped her unlock her memories of her parents. It was painful, going so far back through so much torture, but she at least wasn't alone. Hux was the one that made the decision to seek out the planet, and he traced Lilac's history to make certain they would be in the right place.

Being where it happened, the fire, the blood, the smoke, the darkness...

Lilac followed the path she knew only by snippets of memory. She had to start at the cave, where the animal—a fox, she thought—had bled and died. Where she, herself, almost died of several horrible things-smoke inhalation, thirst, hunger, fear.

From the cave, she took slow steps into what used to be a forest. It was almost impossible to tell one curve of dirt from another. The only guide that could even be somewhat recognizable was a divot where a stream or a river used to be. Everything was dry and hot, as if something beneath the surface still burned. There were no trees standing anywhere on the surface. Hills and mountains far in the distance were the only topographically interesting features. No green, anywhere. The sky wasn't even blue.

And there, after hours of walking, she found her home. Other places where houses had been were the same: charred rubble and scorched metal piled to the side by scavengers. Even her home hadn't yielded much of a payout for the beggars.

Lilac knelt in front of the piles. There would be no bones, or graves, or anything of her parents or her life. The only childhood she might have had was non-existent, even as a sad could-have-been.

There was an ache in her chest as Lilac tried to remember what it was like to have parents and a home. She knew what kids could be like when they were happy. They smiled, and they laughed, and they were loud about everything. They were precious. And not a one ever deserved to go through even a piece of what Lilac and countless others had been forced into.

A small transport ship landed not too far from her rubble home. Her time was up. She'd used all of it just traveling the forest. Lilac waited patiently, taking deep breaths of low atmosphere. It was like being on the edge of choking; always coughing to clear something in her throat that wasn't there.

Hux hurried up to Lilac first, practically sliding on his knees to reach her right side quickly. He clapped a breathing mask to her face, securing it and making eye contact with her until she stopped coughing. Kylo stopped on her other side, a canteen of water in his hands.

Kylo frowned, "Next time, we bring you straight to the landing point."

Hux waved his concerns away, "She knew what she was doing, and so did we. Have a little faith." Hux smirked.

Kylo's eyes flashed with anger, but he swallowed it down.

Lilac pushed the breathing mask away, "I'm fine." She accepted the water from Kylo and the three of them sat together at the place where Lilac's childhood died, and her destiny began. "Really ugly here, isn't it?"

Hux laughed, "Yes. This entire planet bursts into flame each time that sun flares," he pointed straight up. "Or, it used to, back when there was anything to burn."

"Now there's just ash and scrap. Useless scrap."

"And rocks," Kylo picked up a pebble. "Want to take some home?"

"So sentimental," Lilac grinned at him.

It had been rare, the past two years, to have an entire day all to themselves. Kylo and Hux probably did work while they were giving Lilac space, but she didn't think about that. Their work was their business, and the business of the Resistance, which was nothing Lilac wanted to know about.

While they were busy fighting The First Order, Lilac kept herself busy making a home.

She had friends that she trusted, and a job that she loved. Her own network of freedom fighters traveled the far reaches at her order, and the order of professionals that Lilac found to work with her. It wasn't lost on her that several of her contacts also worked within The First Order or The Resistance, but that hardly mattered. As it always had, the war over who ruled the galaxy hardly ever gave a damn about the freedom of those within that same, shitty galaxy.

Life wasn't always easy, and the truth didn't always come first, but Lilac was content and ready for whatever was thrown at her next.

With Hux and Kylo at her side, there was nothing that could hurt her. At least, not as badly as she would be hurt if she were alone.

"I think that's enough," Lilac declared, taking another few deep breaths from the mask. It was a miracle that they had found her home at all. She would never return to it within her lifetime, but that didn't matter. There was a future to get ready for.

Kylo and Hux each took an arm to help Lilac stand. She held the breathing mask with one hand, and held her belly with the other, as if holding it would keep her baby from popping out.

Her pregnancy was a miracle in itself. That it lasted 9 months, with hardly any complications, was The Big Bang of miracles. After everything that had been done to her organs, she had been certain there would never be a pregnancy. Ever. Even with medical enhancements.

When she found out, she was too scared to tell anyone. And then, she was too afraid to keep it to herself. Something had to be wrong. It had to be.

But she was pregnant. She really was. Her beautiful baby girl was due any day. Lilac thought the name Faith was beautiful, and perfect. Kylo was undecided, as long as Lilac was happy and he was a good dad. Hux had a list.

Han and Leia were even excited for a little brown granddaughter. Purple hair or not. Whoever she looked like...

Whoever she took after...

Faith was going to be born into a world with parents and grandparents that were shaping the galaxy. There were large organizations—at war with each other—that wouldn't dare touch the child of Lilac, Hux, and Kylo.

Lilac had been warned that she could go into labor at any time, but her desire to see her home was too great. Her stubbornness was something that there were no doubts Faith would inherit.

But it was still a surprise when, halfway home, Lilac went into labor. Faith was going to be born, and their family was going to feel even more complete than it had. Their love for their child was boundless and would only grow.

And, hot damn, they were going to be the greatest family in the galaxy.


End file.
